2016 "heating up like eggs on chrome bumper in Death Valley parking lot at high noon in August"

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2016 speculation jon stewart

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with incendiary partisan politics, the growing GOP vs. Dem hostilities, and possible 2016 presidential candidates. Take it away, Will:

T MINUS 28 MONTHS AND COUNTING

Bust out the gin and tonics because this is shaping up to be one heck of a long hot summer. Weather- wise and politics- wise. All over the world, hostilities are flaring like out of control wildfires. While here at home, it’s the words that have grown from fiery to scalding. And the only way to describe the actions- incendiary.

Impeachment and lawsuits and child immigration are all raging hot topics. The partisan sweltering also includes the 2016 presidential sweepstakes, which is heating up like an egg frying on a chrome bumper in a Death Valley parking lot at high noon in August.

The usual and unusual suspects on the Republican side are spending enough time at the Iowa and New Hampshire Humidity Festivals to qualify as part time mosquito repellent reps and if they aren’t, they should be, because they’re going to need all the extra money they can get. This marathon is going to be as expensive as it will be ugly. And that’s saying something.

Meanwhile, the plot thins. Paul Ryan is busy figuring out how to reinstitute debtors prison. Mike Huckabee is checking the Bible for loopholes. Marco Rubio is taking deodorant baths in order to convincingly deny climate change. In Florida.

And that Rand Paul fellow is simply a feuding fool. He finally patches up a blistering squabble with Chris Christie, then goes and starts a new one with Rick Perry that quickly heats up to Def Con 4 levels with both belligerents spitting like rudely awakened cobras. And no mongoose in sight. Sounds like he just doesn’t like governors.

All this torrid internecine warfare has led party moderates to call for Jeb Bush to get into the race. And he might, but first he has to get mom’s permission. After all, it was Barbara who astutely diagnosed the national fever known as Bush Fatigue.

If the Jeb were elected, that would make the last 5 Presidents: Bush- Clinton- Bush- Obama- Bush. Like a club sandwich. With the Bushes as the white bread. And how apropos is that? This family is whiter than Justin Beiber’s Nova Scotia Fan Club. Like cauliflower and mashed potatoes on a paper plate with a side of leeks white.

Other big money interests are running Romney up the flagpole to see if anybody salutes. But so far: not a lot of looking up. Besides, the former Governor of Massachusetts claims to have no interest. Which pretty much describes the problem with his last campaign.

On the other side, to call Hillary Clinton a prohibitive favorite for the Democrats is like implying that Shar Pei puppies are cute. She’s a virtual lock. Just like she was in 2008.

Her new book, “Hard Choices,” which sounds more like Bill’s handiwork, ends with “The time for another hard choice will come soon enough.” Hmmmm. What could she possibly be talking about there? Picking names for the new grandchild?

The biggest problem for the Democrats is a lack of Hillary alternatives. Even LeBron James has a back up. What if the former First Lady goes on the DL? Karl Rove claims her fall a couple of years ago was responsible for brain damage. And the guy who escorted Dubyah into the Oval Office should be trusted on this. He’s probably familiar with the symptoms.

Copyright ©2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about the new documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including his new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG.”
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Here Ya' Go GOP-Tea … Pay For Palin

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Palin embarrassMINTS

Will there be a Putin Cam, Live from her porch?

The rumors were true. The Tundra Twit Sarah Palin has launched her own lame stream of media. 9.95$ a month.

Did she not have Op-rah level cable network dough? No high rolling investors? Facebook wouldn't let her stream video that poorly produced? Or would that have been selling out to the lame mainstream media that she wants to be so clearly separate from?

That's the Problem With Palin … all questions, no good answers.

For whatever coco-loco reasons, half-Governor Sarah Palin has birthed The Sarah Palin Channel, or SPC for mocking purposes. Oh, and it truly is special.

hillary-palin-blood-clot

MSNBC had some reporting on the venture.

“Are you tired of the media filters? Well, I am! I always have been. So we’re going to do something about it,” Palin said in the video introduction. “Together, we’ll go beyond the sound bites and cut through the media’s politically correct filter.”

Palin announced the website late Sunday, describing the website as both an alternative to the mainstream media and a digital home for all things Palin. In her announcement, she derided the media for their bias.

sarah palin hypocridiot

Now you can subscribe for a year to save enough bucks to get a few big gulps for the kids, it's only 99$ for a whole year of Sarah interviewing public figures foolish enough to stream with her, a recriminating national debt counter, and for the edification (does she think Bill O'Reilly's words are too hard?) of all, a SPC Word of the Day.

Sunday's offering was 'rectitude'. SPC must do Formal Sundays.

PalinBigGulp

John McCain had darned well better have sunk some cash into this thing, he ought to be paying as long and hard as we are for unleashing this thing on the Lower 48. Now she's on the Intertubez 24/7!! Damn You McCain.

Here's her exciting announce video. Apologies.

So apparently that home shopping network endeavor tanked? Saturday Night Live usually gets it right.

See … SNL predicted a long, long time ago that she had aspirations to be a white Op-rah. They do usually nail it. Hope you didn't mind the gratuitous commentary, LiberalViewer does some good stuff on the Youtubes, h/t to him and his silky sarcasm.

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Stop It! (Nicole Sandler Interviews Uri Avnery)

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Uri Avner

As a progressive atheist with a Jewish heritage, I'll admit to being really ashamed of Israel's actions. I feel for the Palestinian people trapped in the "open-air prison" that is the Gaza strip. I think that Israeli Jews, of all people, should know better - should have learned lessons from their history about genocide, bigotry, hatred and tolerance.

By no means am I saying that Hamas is innocent. They've thumbed their noses at the rules of war -- an oxymoronic notion if ever there was one.

But all the killing and bloodshed in the world isn't going to solve the problems or ease the differences there. The only thing that will lead to peace is if representatives of these two groups sit down and talk.

I last interviewed Uri Avnery while I was on Air America, pre- 2010, but his story resonated with me. Avnery, who'll turn 91 in September, was a member of the Irgun as a teenager, fighting for the creation of the state of Israel by whatever means necessary.

From 1965–74 and 1979–81, Avnery sat in the Knesset and, in 1982, famously crossed the lines during the Siege of Beirut to meet Yassir Arafat, the first time the Palestinian leader ever met with an Israeli.

He worked as a journalist and, in 1993, founded the Gush Shalom peace movement, at which he continues working for peace today.

I don't have to wait to hear what Avnery thinks about the rockets flying in both directions as I subscribe to his newsletter. But with this latest round of death and destruction, I called him and he agreed to join me on the air.

The video is posted above. I urge you to listen to what this wise man has to say. Once you've listened, you might want to read his latest article for Gush-Shalom. It's entitled "Once And For All!"

Once And For All!
26/07/14

IN THIS war, both sides have the same aim: to put an end to the situation that existed before it started.

Once And For All!

To put an end to the launching of rockets into Israel from the Gaza Strip, Once And For All!
To put an end to the blockade of the Gaza Strip by Israel and Egypt, Once And For All!
So why don't the two sides come together without foreign interference and agree on tit for tat?

They can't because they don't speak to each other. They can kill each other, but they cannot speak with each other. God forbid.

THIS IS NOT a war on terror. The war itself is an act of terror.

Neither side has a strategy other than terrorizing the civilian population of the other side.
The Palestinian fighting organizations in Gaza try to impose their will by launching rockets at Israeli towns and villages, hoping that this will break the morale of the population and compel it to end the blockade that turns the Gaza Strip into an "open-air prison".

The Israeli army is bombing the Gaza Strip population and destroying entire neighborhoods, hoping that the inhabitants (those who survive) will shake off the Hamas leadership.
Both hopes are, of course, stupid. History has shown time and again that terrorizing a population causes it to unite behind its leaders and hate the enemy even more. That is happening now on both sides.

SPEAKING ABOUT the two sides in a war, one can hardly avoid creating the impression of symmetry. But this war is far from symmetric.

Israel has one of the largest and most efficient military machines in the world. Hamas and its local allies amount to a few thousand fighters, if that.

The closest analogy one can find is the mythical story of David and Goliath. But this time we are Goliath, and they David.

The story is generally misunderstood. True, Goliath was a giant and David a small shepherd, but Goliath was armed with old-fashioned weapons – heavy armor, sword and shield - and could hardly move, while David had a new-fangled surprise weapon, the sling, with which he could kill from a distance.

Hamas hoped to achieve the same with its rockets, whose reach was a surprise. Also with the number and efficiency of their tunnels, which are reaching into Israel. However, this time Goliath too was inventive, and the Iron Dome missile batteries intercepted practically all the rockets that could have harmed population centers, including my neighborhood in Tel Aviv.
By now we know that neither side can compel the other side to capitulate. It's a draw. So why go on killing and destroying?

Ah, there's the rub. We can't talk to each other. We need intermediaries.

A CARTOON in Haaretz this week shows Israel and Hamas fighting, and a bunch of mediators dancing in a circle around them.

They all want to mediate. They are fighting each other because each of them wants to mediate, if possible alone. Egypt, Qatar, the US, the UN, Turkey, Mahmoud Abbas, Tony Blair and several more. Mediators galore. Each wants to gain something from the misery of war.

It's a sorry lot. Most of them pitiful, some of them outright disgusting.

Take Egypt, ruled by a bloodstained military dictator. He is a full-time collaborator with Israel, as was Hosny Mubarak before him, only more efficient. Since Israel controls all the other land and sea borders of the Gaza Strip, the Egyptian border is Gaza's only outlet to the world.
But Egypt, the former leader of the Arab world, is now a subcontractor of Israel, more determined than Israel itself to starve the Gaza Strip and kill Hamas. Egyptian TV is full of "journalists" who curse the Palestinians in the most vulgar terms and grovel before their new Pharaoh. But Egypt now insists on being the sole broker of the cease-fire.

The UN Secretary General is rushing around. He was chosen for his job by the US because he is not outstandingly clever. Now he looks pitiful.

But not more pitiful than John Kerry, a pathetic figure flying hither and thither, trying to convince everyone that the US is still a world power. Gone are the days when Henry Kissinger commanded the leaders of Israel and the Arab countries what to do and what not (especially telling them not to talk to each other, but only to him.)

What exactly is the role of Mahmoud Abbas? Nominally, he is the president of the Gaza Strip, too. But he gives the impression of trying to mediate between the de facto Gaza government and the world. He is much closer to Tel Aviv than to Gaza.

And so the list goes on. The ridiculous figure of Tony Blair. The European Foreign Ministers trying to get a photo opportunity with their neo-fascist Israeli colleague. Altogether, a disgusting sight.

I want to cry out to my government and to the Hamas leaders: For God's sake, forget about the whole sorry lot, talk to each other!

THE PALESTINIAN fighting capabilities are surprising everyone, especially the Israeli army. Instead of begging for a ceasefire by now, Hamas is refusing until its demands are met, while Binyamin Netanyahu seems eager to stop before sinking even deeper into the Gaza morass – a nightmare for the army.

The last war began with the assassination of the Hamas military commander, Ahmad al-Jaabari. His successor is an old acquaintance, Mohammed Deif, whom Israel has tried to assassinate several times, causing him severe injuries. It now appears that he is far more capable than his predecessor – the web of tunnels, the production of far more effective rockets, the better trained fighters – all this attests to a more competent leader.
(This has happened before. We assassinated a Hizbollah leader, Abbas al-Mussawi, and got the far more talented Hassan Nasrallah.)

In the end, some kind of cease-fire will come into being. It will not be the end Once And For All. It never is.

What will remain?

THE HATRED between the two sides has grown. It will remain.

The hatred of many Israelis for Israel's Arab citizens has grown considerably, and this cannot be repaired for a long time. Israeli democracy has been hard hit. Neo-Fascist groups, once a fringe, are now accepted in the mainstream. Some cabinet ministers and Knesset members are outright fascist.

They are acclaimed now by almost all the world's leaders and repeat parrot-like Netanyahu's most threadbare propaganda slogans. But millions around the world have seen day after day the terrible pictures of devastation and death in the Gaza Strip. These will not be eradicated from their minds by a cease-fire. Israel's already precarious standing in the world will sink even lower.

Inside Israel itself, decent people feel more and more uncomfortable. I have heard many utterances by simple people who suddenly talk about emigration. The choking atmosphere inside the country, the awful conformism of all our media (with Haaretz a shining exception), the certainty that war will follow war forever – all this is leading young people to dream about a quiet life with their families in Los Angeles or Berlin.

In the Arab world the consequences will be even worse.

For the first time, almost all Arab governments have openly embraced Israel in the fight against Hamas. For young Arabs anywhere, this is an act of shameful humiliation.
The Arab Spring was an uprising against the corrupt, oppressive and shameless Arab elite. The identification with the plight of the forsaken Palestinian people was an important part of this.

What has happened now is, from the point of view of today's young Arabs, worse, much worse. Egyptian generals, Saudi princes, Kuwaiti emirs and their peers throughout the region stand before their younger generation naked and contemptible, while the Hamas fighters look like shining examples. Unfortunately, this reaction may lead to an even more radical Islamism.

WHILE STANDING in an anti-war demonstration in Tel Aviv, I was asked by a nice young man: "OK, assuming that this war is bad, what would you do at 6 o'clock after the war?" (That was the name of a famous World War II Soviet movie.)

Well, to start with I would drive away all the mediators and start to talk directly with fighters of the other side.

I would agree to put an immediate end to the land, sea and air blockade of the Gaza Strip and allow the Gazans to build a decent port and airport. On all routes, effective controls must ensure that no weapons are let in.

I would ask that Hamas, after receiving international guarantees, remove in reasonable stages all rockets and destroy all tunnels under the border.

I would certainly release at once all the Shalit-exchange prisoners who were re-arrested at the start of the present crisis. An obligation undertaken under pressure is still an obligation, and cheating by a government is still ugly.

I would recognize, and call upon the world to recognize, the Palestinian Unity Government and do nothing to impede free Palestinian presidential and parliamentary elections, under international inspection. I would undertake to respect the results, whatever they may be.
I would immediately start honest peace negotiations with the unified Palestinian leadership, on the basis of the Arab Peace Initiative. Now that so many Arab governments embrace Israel, there seems to be a unique chance for a peace agreement.

In short, put an end to the war Once And For All.

Nicole Sandler is host of The Nicole Sandler Show, weekdays 10-noon ET at radioornot.com

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Overnight: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Putin? Lauren Mayer

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Putin

image: http://www.vinkaarhus.com


Lauren Mayer is a singer/songwriter/pianist who writes comedy songs about everything from Supreme Court decisions to the Kardashians. She proudly supports leftist causes including equal pay, reproductive choice, fair minimum wage, addressing climate change, and marriage equality.
Note: Lauren's CD is now available!! Hear clips or purchase CD/downloads at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/laurenmayer8. It is also on iTunes and will soon be on Amazon!

Ronan Farrow on Sunday morning: 'How do you solve a problem like Putin?' Yes, out loud, and caught by TPC writer Hardybear!

Our wonderful friend Lauren Mayer ('Psychomom') then turned 'How do you solve a problem like Putin?' into the wonderful satirical song it was destined to be. Thanks, Lauren!

From YouTube:

The despotic, shirtless tyrant is more unpredictable than a musical theatre character!

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Video: Crazy Stuff Evangelical Christians Do In Church

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Video: Crazy Stuff Evangelicals Do In Church

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Bright spot for Dems: Electing governors in states run by Republicans

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what's the matter with kansas now GOP governors

backfire plan fail smaller boy light socket

As the headline suggests, there is, indeed, a bright spot for Democrats this election season: Knocking off GOP governors in tres rouge Republican states. Waitwhat? Yes, you read that right, we have a shot at retaking a few governors mansions in currently (Or to put it punnily, currantly) red states. Crazy huh? How'd that happen?

Well, it happened because radical right legislation signed by radical right governors is backfiring. Even their fellow Republicans have had enough. Now let's hope it backfires effectively enough to get voters to turn a few red mansions blue. Steve Kornacki cites one example. Then below that is the L.A. Times' broader take on the topic. Take it away, Steve:

Steve Kornacki, subbing for Rachel Maddow:

So you've heard a lot of stories in the last two years about extremely conservative governors and extremely conservative state legislators. You've probably heard of Kansas Governor Sam Brownback and maybe you're even familiar with some of the extremely conservative lawmaking he and his legislature have achieved.

But you might not have heard what happened to Governor Brownback in Kansas today. Lots of people have seen enough and many of those people are Republicans...

There's a race for governor of Kansas this year. And today in that state, more than 100 Republican politicians and activists officially threw their support behind the Democrat...

And to put things in perspective and how big a deal this is, just take a minute to think of how staunchly a Republican state Kansas actually is...

Just two years ago, Brownback led an effort to purge moderate Republican state legislators in primaries to drive them out of the statehouse to replace them with right-wingers. And he got his way. 2012 was also the same year he signed a controversial tax slashing law into effect. ... Brownback said at the time that the cuts would create tens of thousands of new jobs and help make Kansas the best place in America to start and grow a small business.

But two years later, it hasn't quite worked out that way. So far, it`s cost Kansas a ton of revenue without really jump-starting the economy. Moody`s, for example, recently downgraded the state`s credit rating... [O]n one hand, the governor`s dealing with the fallout from the tax cuts he championed. And on the other, he`s dealing with backlash from the moderates he`s tried to stamp out.

Steve Benen has more on this at The Maddow Blog.

The Los Angeles Times explores the phenomenon further. Brownback isn't the only one who may be in trouble:

The mathematics and political map both favor Democrats, the opposite of their circumstance in congressional races, where most House Republicans are safe and most competitive Senate contests are in places President Obama lost in 2012.

By contrast, Republican governors are battling in Florida, Ohio, Wisconsin and other states Obama carried twice.

Democrats have even expanded the fight to places such as ruby-red Kansas, where Republican Gov. Sam Brownback faces a stiff challenge amid an uproar from GOP moderates and others unhappy with his aggressively conservative agenda — especially a massive tax cut that has badly strained state finances.

I love the way Nathan Gonzales, an analyst with the nonpartisan Rothenberg Political Report, put it: "One of the consequences of doing well in an election is having to defend those victories next time around."

As regular readers know, one of my mantras is that the GOP lacks foresight. This drives the point home.

And this concludes yet another episode of Republicans Eating Their Own.

eating their own

oz we're not in kansas any more

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Your Weekly Upchucks: KC Boyd Brings Us Shocking Religion News

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kc boyd being christian book

Please welcome back regular guest contributor, author of Being Christian -- a racy novel that explores the dark underbelly of the right-wing Christian world -- and the go-to blogger on shocking religion news, hypocrisy, and all things church v. state (weekly upchucks), KC Boyd. You might remember her from her earlier posts.

You can link over to the official KC Boyd site here for the rest of this post. It’s well worth a look, because I left out a ton of great upchuckable stuff, including antidotes! These are but a few of her weekly "where religion meets your rights" collection:

Your Weekly Upchucks: The place where religion meets your rights

– by KC Boyd

Abortion and Contraception

  • Chuck Me  A Loogie: It’s their Christianity or the highway to hell: Abortion Protesters Interrupt Church Service, Tell Pro-Choice Worshippers To ‘Repent’
  • Back Alleys. They’re A-Boomin’ Hurl: Number Of Texas Women Living 200 Miles From An Abortion Clinic Has Jumped By 2,800 Percent
  • Dug-In Spew: In a Room Crowded With Duggars, Ohio Republicans Pledge to Reintroduce Heartbeat Ban

Creationism

  • Can’t Make It Up-Chuck: Creationist Ken Ham calls to end space program because aliens are going to hell anyway

Education

Fifty Shades Of Hate

  • Governor of Puke: Michigan mayor says giving atheists equal treatment is like favoring the Nazis or the KKK

Fifty Shades Of Loony

  • Because Marcus Never Preys On Michele-Chuck: Michele Bachmann: Gays want to ‘freely prey on little children sexually’

If Media Is The Message

  • Fall Down Upchucking: “Christians today face discrimination at unprecedented levels”
  • Spew It Wide: Columnist tells Jewish voters to stop backing Dems, says they are planning anti-Semitic “atrocities

Israel, Hagee and End Times

Military

Politics Nation

  • Cruz Spewz: Personhood Supporter Ted Cruz Shocked Anyone Thinks GOP Wants To Curtail Contraception Access

Religion Gone Mad

  • Remember When The GOP Didn’t Spell U-P-C-H-U-C-K? Bob Dole is gearing up 4 another fight against the Religious Right over a UN treaty covering people with disabilities.
  • Hurling Nuggets: How Chick-fil-A Hires: The Christian Way

Same Sex Issues

  • Tastes Like Puke-Chuck: OR bakery that refused wedding cakes for same-sex couples now bakes ex-gay cakes

Sausage Makers And Their Sausage

  • For The Gucci Set-Chuck: Proposed Republican Bill Would Treat Contraception Like a Luxury Good
  • Pandering Poopie: GOP Senate Leader Mitch McConnell just announced that if anti-choice Republicans take control of the Senate this November, one of his top priorities will be to pass an abortion ban

Supremes And Lower Courts

  • Next Up SCROTUS? Supreme Court keeps Utah same-sex marriages on ice
  • Up-Chuck And Away: The Hobby Lobby Decision Makes ‘Religious Freedom’ A Euphemism For Imposing Religious Doctrine. America Should Beware.

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