Dancey in my seat. OH MY, imagine that, no one wants to pay to attend Sheriff Joe’s Hateapalooza. If you feel like having your brain curdled by vitriol and just plain stupidity, read on about the conspiracy theories as to why the “event” was canceled. Oh my.

Not even the promise of crooner Pat Boone singing oldies from a spinning stage could save what was intended to be the premier birther event of the year later this month in Arizona.

Organizers of the gala, which would have featured Boone alongside Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio and some of the nation’s other prominent conspiracy theorists, broke the news online Friday that it was canceled “due to inadequate ticket sales.”

The Sept. 22 event was meant to bring together people from throughout the nation who believe Barack Obama’s birth certificate is fake and therefore he is ineligible to be president. Organizers planned to use it to call on Congress to take up Arpaio’s yearlong investigation into the documents.

The announcement was disappointing to the few people who did plan to attend, as evidenced by a handful of web postings about the cancellation. It didn’t take long for true believers to spin elaborate conspiracy theories about why the event was called off.