According to a post in The Star Press, the National Anthem music was adapted from a British drinking song. So that means that drunk Brits sloshed their way through what is now The Star Spangled Banner; nowadays, if an Indiana bill passes, and a student were to sing it in a way “deemed inappropriate,”, then they could be in deep legal doo-doo and have to fork out twenty-five bucks in fines.
Yes indeed, Republican State Sen. Vaneta Becker came up with a new funsy little bill that would require specific “performance standards” for singing and playing the song “at any event sponsored by public schools and state universities,” plus private schools that get state or local scholarship money, including vouchers.
Good thing she’s not a believer in big, intrusive government.
Performers would have to sign a contract agreeing to follow the guidelines. Musicians — whether amateur or professional — would be fined $25 if it were deemed they failed to meet the appropriate standards. … What is and what is not “acceptable,” according to Becker’s bill, would be determined by the State Department of Education, with input from the Commission for Higher Education.
But hey, she only wants to punish kids who purposely change the song, not those unlucky vocalists who can’t carry a tune any better than Jon Huntsman can carry a primary.
So tin-eared singers are safe. No telling what might have happened if a flat note were to pop out of some poor kid’s mouth. Or Roseanne Barr’s… or Hillary Clinton’s:
I’m sure it will be a snap to follow the new rules. Nothing too complicated involved, how hard could this be?
The bill calls for schools to maintain audio recordings of all performances for two years and develop a procedure for dealing with complaints if a musician is alleged to have strayed from the approved lyrical or melodic guidelines.
“I don’t think it would be very difficult for schools,” Becker said. “You could record it on a lot of cellphones or like a small recording device (or) a CD.”
“Record it on a lot of cell phones or like a small recording device…?” What could possibly be easier than that? Why, I can already picture the 3804034 audio files in the oh, so orderly school archives, because we all know how efficient school systems are.
Other states have their own rules about this, too. Follow the link for all the misdemeanory fun.
And remember: It’s against the new rules if the audience has to do this:
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