VIDEO: Pat Robertson thinks I "want you to be miserable."


This from Pat Robertson, the man who censored the words "toilet paper" in one of the hundreds of squeaky clean jokes I wrote for a space alien character for his squeaky clean Family Channel:

"It's, well, Christmas all over again. The Grinch is trying to steal our holiday. It's been so beautiful, the nation comes together, we sing Christmas carols, we give gifts to each other, we have lighted trees, and it's just a beautiful thing. Atheists don't like our happiness, they don't want you to be happy, they want you to be miserable. They're miserable, so they want you to be miserable. So they want to steal your holiday away from you."

Funny thing about that, Pat. I'm an atheist who loves to celebrate the holidays any number of ways, including Christmas trees, pie, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at my nose, those yummy cookies covered in powdered sugar, plenty of wine, piping hot cider, matzo ball soup, and holiday love for all! Go figger.

Nor am I miserable in the least or wish misery on anyone else (well, maybe a select few who cause others harm). As for "stealing" anyone's holiday, I'm not sure how that's even possible. In fact, I've always shared holidays, having been brought up Jewish and somehow still enjoy diversely decorating our house with Chanukah dreidels, twinkly lights, fragrant firs and wreaths, snowmen, and Stars of David galore.

If anyone has had holidays "stolen" from them, it is those who fall into the growing category of America's religious minorities, those who are discriminated against and/or hated for believing something different from the Christian majority, those who don't believe at all (and currently have a snowball's chance in hell of ever becoming a U.S. president), or those who would like to be permitted to have their own public religious displays instead of being excluded in favor of endless Nativity scenes, tree lightings, and Santas. Or people like President Obama who are told they are not Christian at all, but Muslim, as if that's bad thing.

But this isn't a war, and Christmas is alive and well and warm and lovely and sparkly. And a little too commercial, but hey...

Or maybe non-inclusive Pat the Grinch with all his "Christian values" was projecting. After all, his words don't sound very joyous to the world or do-unto-othersy, do they?