Comedy headline o' the day: Ryan vouches for Romney's character in speech to conservatives


So did you hear the joke about vouching for Willard Romney's character? By a guy with no character? It's hilarious. A real knee-slapper. Stop me if you've heard this one before:

Washington (CNN) – Beneath his stiff and sometimes impersonable exterior, Mitt Romney has a heart of gold. [...]

"I'm not the only one who has told Mitt that maybe he needs to talk more about himself and his life," Ryan said, acknowledging a recurring complaint among Republicans that Romney does a poor job of highlighting his personal side. "It wouldn't hurt if voters knew more of those little things that reveal a man's heart and his character.... He's a modest man with a charitable heart, a doer and a promise-keeper."

Oh man, I'm doubled over... whew! Let me stop to catch my breath. Wow.

Hey Mr. Stand-up Comedian, did your running mate have a heart of gold when he:

  • failed to empathize with the poor, the elderly and the disabled who can’t afford proper medical care, a home of their own, or a quality education?
  • failed to empathize with ailing dogs stuck in cages tied to the roof of his car?
  • failed to empathize with women who have been raped, “legitimately” or otherwise, and choose not to have their rapist’s baby? Or does his heart of gold empathize more with Todd Akin and your comedian self?
  • failed to empathize with women who are forced to have vaginal probes inserted inside of them because your fellow Republicans insist that their government knows more about their bodies and choices than the women and their own doctors do?

As for being a "promise-keeper", that's the biggest joke of all. The only promise Romney has kept is this: