Archive for what a joke

Don't let Paul Ryan near your money


Paul Ryan ugh this guy

He's ba-a-ack. Yes, Paul Ryan and his "budget" (quotes required, because it's not a budget, it's a redundantly cruel joke) have returned to make the 99% miserable as it caters to the top 1%.

In his Los Angeles Times column, the brilliant Michael Hiltzik takes Paul Ryan and his Very Serious Plan apart. He rips into Privatize Ryan's latest attempt to screw the middle class and the poor by cutting government programs, killing Medicare and Social Security, and thumbing his nose at everyone who knew better than to vote for him and his "severely conservative" running mate.

Read our lips, Paul: Austerity doesn't work.


What's the definition of insanity again? Oh yeah:

insanity doing same thing over different results

Hiltzik also manages to get a word or two in about GW Bush's squandering of the Clinton surpluses on tax breaks for the wealthy and how he spent borrowed funds on wars without bothering to raise income taxes.

Take it away, Michael:

There should be a rule--or even a law--that politicians who propose "fixes" to Social Security should at least show they know something about the program. By that standard, House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan, R-Wisc., would flunk. [...]

But the trust fund is still growing, because Social Security's income streams--the payroll tax, interest on its bonds, and revenues from income taxation of benefits--still are sufficient to cover current benefits, and then some. [...]

As I've written before, when you hear people like Paul Ryan talk as though the country can't afford to pay back the money by redeeming the bonds in the trust fund, what you're hearing is the sound of the wealthy preparing to stiff the working class. [...]

[I]f Ryan has his way, yes, the money will be stolen. It's up to you and me to make sure that doesn't happen. So, to put all these pieces together, there's no "dubious government accounting" involved here--the dubious accounting is all Ryan's. [...]

The most important factor is the one that people like Ryan want you to forget: The money in the Social Security trust fund came directly or indirectly from the payroll taxes paid by millions of American workers--100% of it. It was paid by workers in the trust that the government would pay it back. Paul Ryan is hinting, pretty strongly, that he doesn't want to pay it back. 

So why would you trust him? 

Exactly. Why would anyone trust this guy? Especially after the abysmal response to his previous Kill Medicare/Social Security proposals.

paul ryan really really bad screen grab

Please read Hiltzik's entire piece here.


Slut shaming, gossip: Chris #Christie's taxpayer-funded million dollar PR defense


chris christie report bridget kelly slut shaming

you're a whore case closed slut shaming

Yesterday Team Christie cleared Chris Christie in a "report" by a firm that donated to his campaign; it was a laugh out loud over the top PR document that repeatedly relied on slut shaming to make its case.

Rachel Maddow made mince meat out of it, as did Lawrence O'Donnell on "The Last Word":

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


Why on earth would Bridget Kelly's personal life and how her love life was going and whether or not Bill Stepien dumped her be relevant to that political question? ...

Bridget Kelly never spoke to the lawyers doing this investigation...

So what they've printed throughout the report is gossip about what they heard about their relationship and how it was going. They just gratuitously bring that up as they blame the whole thing on her. In real life, this is called "slut shaming." I'm not sure what they call it in New Jersey politics, but it's amazing to see it in this report that New Jersey taxpayers have paid for.

$1 million in public money spent to produce this report which blames the bridge scandal without explanation on the fact that this lady in the office was having a tough time in her love life. Amazing.

... This is also the law firm that governor Christie's office has hired essentially to put together the governor's defense in this issue. The governor's defense as federal prosecutors continue to pursue potential federal criminal charges related to this scandal.

There's no indication right now that Governor Christie is going to be indicted in this matter, but today's report looks very much like a ready criminal defense if that would become necessary. A would-be defense prepared at taxpayer expense and previewed for all of us at a length of 360 pages today.

And as they have rolled out the governor's legal defense today, they also did it in conjunction with a public relations rollout, the governor granting his first one-on-one interview tonight since the scandal broke.

...They actually published no new documentation of the scandal at all....

This is called protesting too much. The guy who did the lane closures says Chris Christie knew about it while it was happening. He says he told him while it was happening. There are pictures of them together on the day and at the occasion where the guy says it happened.

There is still no purported explanation from the governor's lawyers or the governor, himself, as to why this happened if it wasn't political retaliation directed from the governor's office, and this is his million-dollar defense.

This is the best he's got. and New Jersey taxpayers, you paid for it. Well, they did get that incredible detail that Mayor Zimmer once yawned. So i guess there's that.

chris christie report christie crying

And as mentioned at the top, Lawrence O'Donnell had a field day with the report whitewash as well as with former two-time Christie campaign manager Bill Stepien's response to it:


Team Christie clears #Christie in report by firm that donated to his campaign


chris christie cartoon via FB team christie

chris christie bridgegate report by firm who donatedLink

Randy M. Mastro, the Team Christie lawyer who led an internal investigation of Bridgegate, held a news conference. In his self-serving little press event, Mastro pretty much laid out Chris Christie's legal defense. He also released a relatively meaningless, but lengthy, report by the gov's pals at the legal team of Gibson Dunn & Crutcher,. Christie hired them at the cost of more than a million taxpayer buckaroos.

The account was missing a little something though: It didn't include interviews with key players David Wildstein and Bridget Anne Kelly. But it does allege that the plan to close the George Washington Bridge lanes was orchestrated by Wildstein and approved by Kelly, Christie’s now-fired deputy chief of staff.

It also fails to reveal their motives.

The New York Times has the story:

The Port Authority official who oversaw the lane closings at the George Washington Bridge said that he had informed Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey about it at a Sept. 11 memorial while the closings were occurring, according to the findings of an internal investigation released on Thursday by lawyers for the governor.

The official, David Wildstein, told Mr. Christie’s press secretary, Michael Drewniak, of the Sept. 11 conversation at a dinner in December just before his resignation from the Port Authority, according to the report.

The report said that Mr. Christie did not recall any such conversation, and it found no evidence that he was involved in the scheme, which snarled traffic for thousands of commuters in Fort Lee, N.J., from Sept. 9 through the morning of Sept. 12. [...]

At times, it reads like a point-by-point defense of the governor.

The old "I don't recall" defense. What's not to believe?

One reporter asked, “Why should this not be seen as a whitewash?” Indeed.

The New York Times has much more here. Click here for the full report.


Two funniest items o' the day, via Rick Perry and McDonald's


laughter is best medicine laugh

Laughter is the best medicine. Well, not quite as beneficial as diving into a trough of wine, but almost.

Funny Item Number One, via Taegan:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) said that he will visit Israel in October, "a move that signals to the political world that he is seriously considering making another presidential run in 2016," the Washington Times reports.

Said Perry: "We will be going to Israel to bring together Arabs, Christian and Jews in an educational forum."

Of course, that was unintentionally funny. I mean, really... Rick Perry uttering the words "educational forum" out loud? And crediting himself for anything that could possibly teach anyone anything? It's surprising that he even remembered all three: Arabs, Christians, and... um... ummm... oh yeah, Jews!

He was actually Oopsless. Now that's a gen-yew-wine Texas rib-tickler.

Item Number Two is a video that is as funny as it is informative. McBudgeting:

Yes, McDonald's agrees: $15 per hour is what their employees need!

Via Low Pay is Not Okay:

McDonald’s built a web site to “help” their employees make a budget. It’s… unbelievable.

Press play and share far and wide.

McDonald's McBudgeting


Rick Perry's IMDb: Trivia: "I'm actually for gun control. Both hands." Filmography: "Planet Terror."


rick perry gaa

Rick Perry-- yes, that Rick Perry-- has an IMDb page. And what a page it is!

Born: James Richard Perry  in Paint Creek, Texas, USA

Nickname: Governor Goodhair

Trivia: Re-elected to a third four-year term as Governor of Texas on November 2, 2010. See more trivia...

Why yes, one might agree that his political career is trivia. Well, except to all those people he executed, because he's such a, you know, "pro-lifer."

Here's what else he included under "Trivia":

Re-elected to a third four-year term as Governor of Texas on November 2, 2010.

Underwent minor back surgery on July 1, 2011.

2012 GOP presidential candidate.

Suspended presidential campaign [January 19, 2012].

Recovering from surgery on his right clavicle [February 25, 2012].

Personal Quotes:

I'm actually for gun control. Both hands.

[on his faith in God] His agenda is not a political agenda. His agenda is a salvation agenda.

but wait there's more smaller

2012 Little Hope Was Arson (documentary) (special thanks) (completed)

2012-2013 Dallas (TV series) (thanks - 14 episodes)
Trial and Error (2013) (thanks - as Governor Rick Perry)
False Confessions (2013) (thanks - as Governor Rick Perry)
Sins of the Father (2013) (thanks - as Governor Rick Perry)
Battle Lines (2013) (thanks - as Governor Rick Perry)
Venomous Creatures (2013) (thanks - as Governor Rick Perry)
See all 14 episodes »

2010 Predators (the producers wish to thank for their assistance - as The Governor of Texas)

2008 Inning by Inning: A Portrait of a Coach (documentary) (thanks)

2007 Planet Terror (special thanks - as The Honorable Rick Perry Governor of Texas)

2007 Death Proof (special thanks - as The Honorable Rick Perry Governer of Texas)

2005 The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (special thanks - as Governor Rick Perry)

2005 Sin City (special thanks - as The Honorable Rick Perry)

Why was he in so many horror and "violent corruption" movies? Rhetorical.

Whoa, hang on. "Planet Terror"?

After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it's up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release.

Sounds about right, although I was thinking more along the lines of a hyperventilating Ricky, foaming at the mouth and dressed in ill-fitting Army fatigues single-handedly trying to fend off mutating Bin Ladens while inappropriately bellowing, "Lookameee! I'm a hero! Donate! And... um... ummm... Oops."

The ultimate irony? File under Trivia, Ironic: Rick Perry is a proud and willing member of the Hollywood Liberal Elite.

H/t: @blah_blah_blah_


Please sign this petition to rescind George W. Bush's "Improving the Human Condition Award"


are you kidding me

The Josef Korbel School Of International Studies at the University of Denver (here they are on Facebook) is giving an award to George W. Bush. But it's not just any award; no, no, this one is for "improving the human condition." No, I'm not kidding.

Apparently, indefinite detention, torture, starting a fraudulent war with a country that never attacked us that killed thousands, lying to us about the reasons for the invasion, and destroying our economy all contributed to our human condition.

Oh it contributed all right. It made it worse.

bush award human condition dinner

So who could be more deserving than W? What a human rights maven. GREAT choice, gang!

Seriously, this makes no sense whatsoever. None.

Here's one Facebook comment:

Sarah Strnad:

June 25 - Seriously, all my Josef Korbel School of International Studies, University of Denver friends, I expect you to [sign] this. And, to my alma mater, I just want you to know that if you go ahead with this ill conceived award that mocks my degree I will NEVER donate a cent to you.

So is doing this:

bush petition human condition award

Please sign the petition if you agree that W did more to destroy the human condition than any political figure in recent memory and doesn't deserve a dinner, an award, or any other honor that anyone could ever conjure up ever.

One acquaintance of mine had the perfect response to this misguided award: Because Bush isn't president any more, the human condition has been greatly improved. Now that makes sense.


WI Gov. Walker, GOP gov's "tempered" (you can stop laughing now) as they seek 2nd terms; Dems slam GOP at convention


phony baloney

The Marshfield News Herald is chock full o' news today. We all remember how Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's conservative, restrictive policies resulted in scenes like this one, right?

And here is a recent Walker recap I wrote about a month ago responding to a few quotes:

  • “We’re the ones who care for the everyday people of this state and this country.” That must be why you were nearly kicked out of office. And why your “screw the 47%” presidential candidate lost in a landslide.
  • Turn down federal money to expand the Medicaid program.” Nothing says “caring for everyday people” like taking away their lifeline.
  • Walker mocked claims from critics that the change was a sign he hates poor people.” Did it ever occur to him that they say that because he hates poor people? See: “Turn down federal money to expand Medicaid.”

Now that he and other hypocritical conservative governors who have been screwing the poor, the middle class and an increasingly diverse electorate need voters on their side, they're "tempering" themselves:

Running for re-election in 2014, [Walker] hopes to strike a more conciliatory tone. [...]

The firebrand governors who took statehouses by storm in 2010, when the Tea Party movement was surging, are running for second terms in 2014 with tempered messages and in a different political landscape.

The old makeover switcheroo again. We see. That's been working out so well for them recently. You know what would be "conciliatory"? Changing their policies and attitudes, not just their language.

Eight new GOP governors were elected in 2010 in states that had voted for Barack Obama two years earlier and would vote for him again two years later... Now these freshman Republican governors are expected to seek second terms in their solidly blue or battleground states: Florida, Maine, Michigan, Nevada, New Mexico, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

Five of the eight refuse to support the Affordable Care Act's state-based insurance marketplaces.

But playing nicely during election cycles is a must. So is proving to voters that you've earned their trust. Take Walker for example. In 2010, he sworetogod he'd create 250,000 jobs, but it's been about 2½ years, and he's only managed to cough up 62,000. Oops.

So there's that.

Meantime, Tammy Baldwin fired up state Democrats at the party's convention on Friday. She revved 'em and stirred the pot as hard as she could in an effort to get them to kick Walker and other GOP officeholders out on their hineys in 2014.

Via the Post Crescent:

Other Democratic leaders weren’t nearly as restrained as Baldwin... [T]hey bashed Walker and Republican lawmakers in speech after speech. They lambasted Walker for positioning himself for a potential presidential run while Wisconsin’s economy suffers. Again and again they played up that the state has dropped to 44th in the nation in job creation... They took Walker to task, too, for rejecting a federally funded Medicaid expansion.

Please follow the link for more details.

Let's hope that all that Democratic passion leads to positive results at the polls. If not, this country is screwed.