Archive for unemployment – Page 2

Upbeat economic news round-up. Yes, upbeat. #BlameObama

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Moment of Happy, upbeat

Every morning I hold my Los Angeles Times newspaper (key word: paper) in my hands and read it cover to cover. By the time I'm done, I usually need a Valium, a six-pack of wine, and some Pepto Bismol. But today's Business section actually cheered me up! I only ended up requiring an IV of wine due to the horrific front page headlines about Israel and the Malaysia crash. It wasn't too hard to resist the Pepe Le Pew-like enticement of Le Valium, and I loaned the Pepto to the neighbor down the street with the very teenagey teen. Why? Because the economic news was actually upbeat.

You read that right.

upbeat

Don't believe me? I don't blame you. Usually economic news makes us want to haul out our old GW Bush dartboards and start throwing.

blame obama Bush's fault smaller

But here's proof:

  • Stocks buoyed by strong earnings (no link to that either, but that title with the accompanying article is in my paper, honest)

Yes, things could be better. But seeing all the positive headlines was encouraging.

Of course, this is clearly some commie fascist Marxist socialist plot by President Obama, who we all know controls every news organization except Fox, which doesn't report news at all. So you'll have to read the reports and draw your own conclusions. But IMHO, this can serve as today's Moment of Happy.

I retort, you deride.

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Yawn: Weekly jobless claims slip... again. #BlameObama

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jobless benefits unemployment down

Fox Biz keeps bugging me with upbeat email alerts like the one below. And we all know that they are the single most reliable source of information in the entire world, so I pay attention to every word. Since I can't keep all the good news bottled up inside, especially on a day filled with very bad news (AP Reporting that Malaysian Air 777 Was "Shot Down" over Ukraine), I had to share. Again. Yawn. Yes, one more time, weekly jobless claims fell and nobody on cable news [sic] seems to have noticed. And if they did notice, they failed to report it to the rest of us.

Then again, since when as the news [sic] media performed up to expectations? And by expectations I mean standards that meet or surpass that of playing Telephone.

Here's the latest:

The number of Americans filing for first-time jobless benefits fell to 302,000 last week from an upwardly-revised 305,000 the week prior. Economists expected claims to rise to 310,000 from an initially-reported 304,000.

Seriously, if this keeps up, Republican impeachment and lawsuit efforts will start to look even more ludicrous than they already do.

Nonetheless, with jobless claims sliding, there's only one thing left to do. Say it with me now, everyone:

blame obama

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Borderghazi continues as weekly job claims fall... again. #BlameObama

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borderghazi texas


While all the infantile talking schmoes heads are stomping their feet and tantruming about why President Obama won't make an appearance at the border-- his KATRINA, sez they (Borderghazi!!!!)-- the economy is quietly doing things that should make the GOP get even more tantrumy and red-faced: It's picking up. Slowly but surely. Weekly job claims have fallen-- again-- and so have sad little Republican faces.

And who better to bring us news that will cause conservatives to point, and flip, even more fingers at the president over Borderghazi to divert attention from any accomplishments on Obama's watch? Why, none other than the most reliable source for accurate news in the whole wide world, Fox Biz! Via email alert:

The number of Americans filing for first-time unemployment benefits fell last week to 304,000 from an unrevised 315,000 the week prior. Wall Street expected claims to remain at 315,000.

You all know what to do. Say it with me now:

blame obama

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Retailer: "If we can minimize the humans in our company, then we prefer that."

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retailer caviar vending machine

Unemployment continues to be a problem in this country, despite the recent good news and drop in the jobless rate to 6.1 percent. But there is at least one retailer who is apparently shrugging off and/or disregarding our nation's jobless situation. The retailer in question happens to be from-- le ahem-- Beverly Hills, California.

In today's Los Angeles Times, there's a lengthy article about how U.S. vending machines are on the upswing. And by upswing, they're not just talking quantity, but also quality. Vending machines are movin' on up(scale), and retailer after retailer is reaping the benefits. And the profits.

Even if it means laying off the very consumers who need work so they can, you know, keep consuming.

At first glance, burrito-spewing vending machines didn't seem like a bad idea. Nor did caviar-to-go. Yes, caviar. To go. From vending machines. Pardon moi, "automated boutiques." Food on the run is a convenience that is addicting to those who are short on time. So, sure, why not expand the roll of coin-operated machines that serve fast-food sandwiches, cupcakes, and pizzas? And caviar. All that easy access sounded okay to yours truly... until I read this:

After closing her Beverly Hills store in 2010, Stern began looking into vending machines. Her company typically sells to grocery stores and restaurants but wanted direct access to customers, too. [...]

The machines now pull in 10% of the company's total sales. The boutiques send emails when supplies are low and can also be remotely operated via smartphone to help shoppers who run into problems.

"If we can minimize the humans in our company, then we prefer that," Stern said. "When you have physical employees, you don't have a life. Ask any restaurant or supermarket business."

Let them eat caviar.

pizza vending machine retailer

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