Cable companies are trying to create an unequal playing field for internet speeds, but they're doing it so boringly that most news outlets aren't covering it.
John Oliver explains the controversy and lets viewers know how they can voice their displeasure to the FCC.
(www.fcc.gov/comments, for any interested parties)
Oliver knocked it out of the park on "Last Week Tonight." He outdid himself in a killer segment about net neutrality, a must-watch. Here are a few excerpts of how he blasted cable companies, monopolies, and those foxes who are looking after our Internet hen house:
Net neutrality. The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are, "featuring Sting.”
I would rather listen to a pair of Dockers tell me about the weird dream it had.
Net neutrality is actually hugely important. Essentially it means that all data has to be treated equally, no matter who creates it. It's why the Internet is a weirdly level playing field.
The point is, the Internet in its current form is not broken, and the FCC is currently taking steps to fix that.
Ending net neutrality would allow big companies to buy their way into the fast lane, leaving everyone else in the slow lane...
Recently Comcast was negotiating with Netflix. This graph shows Netflix download speeds on various providers:
That black line plummeting downwards was their speed on Comcast during the negotiation. See if you can guess when Netflix agreed to Comcast demands.... That has all the ingredients of a mob shakedown.
Consider who would benefit from this change: Cable companies... These companies have Washington in their pockets...
The guy who used to run the cable industry's lobbying arm is now running the agency tasked with regulating it. That is the equivalent of needing a babysitter and hiring a dingo.
... Cable companies are basically monopolies now. ... You could not describe a monopoly more clearly if you were wearing a metal top hat, and driving a metal car, after winning second prize in a beauty contest.
The cable companies have found out the great truth of America: If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring...
That's why advocates should not be talking about protecting net neutrality. They shouldn't even use that phrase. They should call it, "preventing cable company fuckery," because that is what it is.
The Big Finale was right up my Twitter alley: Oliver reminded us that "there might be actually something you can still do" about all of this: leave a public comment on the FCC site. He put out the word to Internet trolls everywhere to do their thing.
"Good evening Monsters. THIS may be the moment you've spent your whole lives training for."
And if anyone can vouch for familiar trolly comments like this one...
... 'tis yours truly. John Oliver is on to something. I never thought I'd say this, but, "Go trolls!"