In one Pennsylvania elementary school, 5-year-old girls in kindergarten who suggest it might be fun to blast bubbles at other 5-year-olds using a small, pink, plastic Hello Kitty bubble blower get suspended.

And that suspension makes it impossible to be accepted into other schools. Because, see, toy bubble-shooters are now evil threatening weapons and tots who want to not-harm other children with a not-harmful, painless, floaty stream of bubbles are now “terrorists.”

Bubbles don’t kill people, people kill people.

ABC:

A 5-year-old girl was suspended from school earlier this week after she made what the school called a “terrorist threat.“

Her weapon of choice? A small, Hello Kitty automatic bubble blower.

Did I mention that the child didn’t even have the bubbler with her at school?

Did I mention her weapon of choice was a doodad that blows bubbles?

Did I mention that the 5-year-old was ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation? 

Guess what the outcome of the evaluation was? You guessed right. The little girl was “deemed normal” and not a threat. Imagine that! She’s as harmless as a little (Hello) Kitty.

But now she’s got a “record” and has been turned down by another school because of her scary terrorist past. Before you know it, there will be drones tracking her and she’ll be on a watch list.

Why, soon there could be a Baby Gitmo at every neighborhood mall (So convenient!) where moms ‘n’ dads can shop to their hearts’ content after paying a visit to their Little Prisoner.

Hello Gitty?