Archive for the biggest loser

Quickie-- Mitch McConnell: Big ol' losery underachiever

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Today's Quickie:

(Reuters) - Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell set two top goals for the 2012 election: a Republican takeover of the Senate and the defeat of President Barack Obama.

He achieved neither.

Starting in January, he will be up against a president he tried and failed to bring down, with a Senate minority weaker by two.

Much more at the link.

That was today's Quickie. Was it good for you?

Hell, I need a cigarette and I don't even smoke.

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The Bain of Mitt Romney's electoral existence

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Today’s guest post by the one, the only, Will Durst:

THE BAIN OF HIS ELECTORAL EXISTENCE

You might say it was a turbulent week for Mitt Romney. You could also say a light lemon sugar wash makes for ineffective mosquito repellent. He claims to have totally left Bain Capital to run the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics even though his company handed the government multiple signed documents stating otherwise and now financial questions plague his campaign like a swarm of dive-bombing bees in a bathroom stall.

The presumptive GOP nominee finds himself in the uncomfortable position of having to convince skeptical voters someone can serve as a firm’s President, Chairman of the Board, chief executive officer, sole stockholder, junior janitor, cafeteria server in a plastic hairnet and still have absolutely nothing to do with the direction of the company or anything that’s going on. You might say he’s invoking a modified Wall Street bankers’ defense.

It boils down to whether he played any active role after leaving in 1999 and his subsequent retroactive retirement. Whatever that means. He says no, dividends be damned. And all those SEC filings listing him as boss were simply corporate publicity moves like Donald Trump putting his name on various hotels and statuesque fashion models. Which many psychologists define as an edifice complex.

Adding to the confusion, in 2002, Willard successfully disputed tax records listing him as an inhabitant of Utah because he was required to have 7 year residency in Massachusetts for gubernatorial eligibility. Then again, who would quarrel with having a president who could live in two places at the same time.

Also, during the period in question, Romney sat on the board of a corporation called LifeLike, which co-incidentally seems to be his campaign slogan. But we’re pretty sure they had nothing to do with his construction. They make dolls, not puppets.

The reason this is all so important is because Romney declares his qualifications stem from his recognized business acumen. And if it’s proven he either lied under oath or to the American people, it would go a long way into establishing he truly does deserve national office.

Romney maintains he is totally within the law not releasing any more tax records than required. Yeah, well, in certain states gambling and prostitution and foie gras are within the law as well. Is this guy running for the presidency or trying to avoid the constabulary?

The former Governor from Massachusetts rationalizes he’s only following in Teresa Heinz’s '04 footsteps. But Teresa Heinz wasn’t running for President. Her husband, John Kerry was, and he released 20 years of taxes. So, maybe Romney is subliminally letting us know the post he’s really angling for is… First Lady.

Speaking of which, presumptuous presumptive Marie Antoinette understudy, Ann Romney, addressed the subject with “we’ve given all you people need to know.” Wow. Now, we’re “you people.” Might be taking that Mormon Royalty thing a bit too far. Fortunately, her husband was able to refrain from using the term when addressing the NAACP.

Come on Mitt. In the biggest of all poker games, you're at the final table and it's time to go all in. Like the police always tell us when they start ramping up surveillance, "The innocent have nothing to fear." You're squeaky clean, right? Or is this just another example of that age old Golden Rule: "He who has the gold, makes the rules."

The New York Times say 5 time Emmy- nominated comedian and writer Will Durst "is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today." Check out the website: Redroom.com to buy his upcoming e- book "Will Durst's Totally Indispensable Guide to the 2012 Election" or to find out more about stand- up performances. Or willdurst.com.

Also: every Tuesday, Elect to Laugh! @ The Marsh, San Francisco. Only 16 shows left. themarsh.org.

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Mitt Romney's waiting game: A lose/lose/lose/lose situation

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The wisdom of Frank Rich:

What Mitt doesn't seem to realize is that whatever embarrassments are in his tax returns, the bigger problem is that his secrecy keeps accentuating all the mysteries in his resume: the erased hard drives he left behind when leaving office as Massachusetts governor; what exactly he did as a longtime lay official in the Mormon church; and, of course, what exactly he did and didn't do at Bain and, for that matter, when he was there and not there. If he keeps trying to wait out the tax storm, it will keep growing -- hitting a new peak when he finally releases the one additional year of tax returns he has agreed to disclose, and another when his veep pick is asked to release his or her tax returns.

So Willard has created a lose/lose/lose/lose situation for himself, with the potential of an additional lose/lose.

"Erased hard drives": Mitt Romney staffers deleted emails, replaced computers, “obliterated electronic records”

"What exactly he did and didn't do at Bain." (scroll)

Why anyone would take a candidate seriously who has made it clear that we are not entitled to know the man who feels entitled to win the presidency is beyond me.

And now, because it's election season and we'll be extra busy, we GottaAsk:

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Video- The Biggest Loser: Working Out With Michelle Obama

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Wow.

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