Archive for texas

Rick Perry's smug shot: It's all about exposure, exploitation, aka politics as usual

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Rick Perry booking photo mug shot

 Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with Texas Governor Rick Perry. Take it away, Will:

SMUG SHOTS

Knew he shouldn’t. Couldn’t help himself. Talking about the beaming leer in Rick Perry’s mug shot. Or to be more precise, his smug shot. In the photo released by the Austin Police Department, the Texas Governor grins like a Cheshire Cat who just cleaned out the canary department of a PetSmart and is presetting his Lexus’ GPS for another store.

Because he vetoed the budget of the Travis County Attorney General who refused to resign following a drunken driving conviction, Perry is now being indicted on two federal felony counts relating to abuse of power. Which for a politician is real similar to being accused of breathing through their mouths. No big deal. The loyal opposition is programmed to consider all power abusive. A fact extensively covered in the freshman orientation pamphlet.

The three reasons he’s smirking are obvious. One: there’s a better chance of being struck by lightning while holding Charlize Theron’s purse stuffed with winning Powerball tickets, than being convicted. Two: he can wear these charges as a loud red badge of partisan courage, rekindling presidential aspirations. As for the third thing… well, he’ll have to get back to you. Ooops.

This is all proof that today- any and or all publicity is good publicity. Andy Warhol’s future has arrived and taken over the conference room. Famous for 15 minutes. That’s the goal. You don’t have to be talented or accomplished or good looking or an artist or even credible. Just get your name and face out there. Get on television. Even basic cable. By hook or by crook or by booking photo.

Arianna Huffington sold her website to AOL for $315 million based on the business model of rounding up scores of scripting serfs who will write for free. With 7 series and a spate of spin- offs, the Bravo Network has practically given up on narrative programming, morphing into the Real Housewives or Women be Fighting and Stuff Network. The Weather Channel has a new reality show called 3 Fat Guys in the Woods, which infringes on absolutely no fairness in advertising doctrines. Anybody can be a star. Build your brand. We’re all one viral post away from the big time.

The NFL has attempted to harness these ambitions by charging musical acts to perform at their Super Bowl Halftime Show. The three finalists, Katy Perry, Coldplay and Rihanna have each been asked to pony up for the privilege of performing in front of billions of people AND to kick back a slice of their post- show concert tour. Next they’ll want an NFL logo carved in the haircut of the bass player. And who’s going to argue? It’s the bass player.

The most humane solution would be for the NFL to pay viewers to watch their overproduced lip- synched parody of an extravaganza. Or maybe just go back to marching bands and Frisbee catching dogs. But where’s the money in that?

Kim Kardashian’s new iPhone app is expected to make over 100 million dollars- this year alone. The goal of the game is to do anything and everything to become famous. Just that. Fame. It’s all about the exposure. Of course, in the Midwest we were taught you can die from exposure. Then again, couldn’t happen to a nicer couple than Rick Perry and Kim Kardashian. And the 3 Fat Guys in the Woods.

Copyright © 2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about the new documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including his one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” which will appear at the Third Avenue Playhouse in Sturgeon Bay Wisconsin Aug 26- 30. thirdavenueplayhouse.com

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

BREAKING: Rick Perry indicted on two felonies

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

OopsPerryw300h202

Why, it was only a few months ago that I posted Rick Perry lawyers up for criminal investigation of bribery, coercion, abuse of authority (VIDEO). Follow that link for the back story.

Now there's this, via the Dallas News:

AUSTIN – Gov. Rick Perry was indicted on two felony counts for abuse of official capacity and coercion of a public servant late Friday by a Travis County grand jury.

The case stems from Perry’s vetoing the $7.5 million biennial funding for the Travis County Public Integrity Unit last year. He threatened to withhold the money unless District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg resigned.

More at the link.

What's his defense going to be? "I can't recall"? "God made me do it"?

Added: Our old pal @DAbitty tweeted this:

You know what to do:

get out the popcorn

 

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Rick Perry spends thousands on Obstructive Tongue Syndrome

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

obstruction, obstructive

We all know how Republicans love to obstruct. They can't help themselves, it's their one area of expertise, other than holding expensive, nasty, meaningless hearings. Their obstructive nature comes in extra crispy handy when it comes to getting absolutely nothing done in Congress instead of, you know, making this country run better. Poor Texas Gov. Rick Perry, however, has been dealt a bad obstructive hand.

In his case, the obstruction is his own tongue. He keeps tripping on it. Guess you could say his tongue got a taste of the GOP's own obstructive medicine:

oops rick perry smallerSo what's a tongue klutz to do? Well, you know what they say, money talks. In this case, Rick Perry is hoping to take that literally. Taegan over at Political Wire tells us that Perry spent $17K on speech coaches (there's a pay wall at the Houston Chronicle, so this is all I can provide). How nice for him that he's learning to speak English fluently so he can keep up with the demands his crowd places on immigrants:

One interesting item: Perry spent $17,000 for speech coaches "to smooth his public delivery after earning a reputation for tripping over his tongue during his run for the 2012 Republican presidential nod."

He also "has a campaign stockpile of $4.4 million collected for a now nonexistent re-election battle," which should come in handy. See, Gov. Ricky is adept at one thing, despite his tongue acrobatics. He's willing to share, despite his stingy inclination to post Do Not Enter signs all over Texas. Again, via Taegan:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), "who's weighing a White House bid in 2016, has formed a federal political action committee to aid fellow Republican candidates in the Nov. 4 elections," Bloomberg reports.

Should be fun to watch him try to pronounce RickPAC.

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Josè Díaz-Balart Meets With President Obama and Reports to All In

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

misspelled amnesty sign anti-immigrant
You can almost hear Morgan Freeman, the voice of God, intoning over the National Guard that Governor Good Hair Perry saw fit to deploy on women and children, "This is NOT what Jesus Would Do, Governor Perry!!"

With a few lightning bolts and a suitable coda of thunder to punctuate.

Chris Hayes really went All In Friday evening, when he got the early scoop on colleague Josè Díaz-Balart's enviable interview with President Obama on the day of his historic meetings with Central American rulers on the other end of the humanitarian crisis on the borders.

Díaz-Balart went there, thoroughly, about the complicity of the United States' recreational drug habit in the traffic, and the trafficking, that lie at the heart of this current disaster. He is not wrong, in saying that every line of cocaine done in the U.S. impacts cultures in Central and Southern America.

His MSNBC morning program will offer more interview footage next week. Here is the first look.

Then the promised footage with Chris Hayes in the evening lineup.

Prior to that, Hayes had done a powerful segment on the actual face of the ongoing deportations, with some fascinating facts on the Obama administration's quieter policies.

Do you suppose we could trade the Statue of Liberty back to France for a working guillotine? It would take care of immigration reform and the death penalty glitches in one fell swoop.

quotdumb_fux_newsquot_small_poster

For contrast, perennially thirsty Senator Marco Rubio and Pundette Megyn Kelly are cozying up at Fox Noise, hyping their unique, peculiar brand of 'immigration reform assassination' that works so well over at Fvx Nation.

cheaperthanalobotomy

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare