Archive for sex

CPAC -- Conservatives On (Gay) Cruise Control (NSFW)



Nothing like getting out of town and hanging out with the boys to get those conservative juices flowing. And by juices, I mean body fluids. And by boys hanging out with one another, I do mean bedding one another. Oh those sly conservatives. And you thought they were all button-down types. Read on. You, or at least they, will get a "bang" out of this.

How interesting that during the day, the many firebrand keynote speeches talked about everything wrong with this country, blaming everything on Obama -- education, healthcare, Benghazi, education, lack of jobs, the economy, over regulation and the XL Pipeline.

According to coverage on the CPAC convention, the XL Pipeline is actually gay code for eXtra Large Penis.



Coming into town Thursday afternoon through Sunday afternoon for a convention and looking to have some fun here. Mostly looking for very hung individuals to mess around with. I have a thing for really big cocks. I can deepthroat anything and love to swallow.

Okay, maybe this was just one guy in the ultra-right wing element who is looking to explore new horizons. An exception, not the rule. One bad apple kind of thing.


It is that time again and I want to have some NSA [no strings attached] fun after the speeches. I want to fu*k your mouth while I sign you up on the healthcare marketplace. [closet liberal or closet gay] I want you to be the gipper and go down on my jellybeans. I want to be discreet.

Well, maybe two gays slipped through the cracks. After all, if you heard the speeches from the guests so far during the CPAC convention, you'd know that gays are not part of the conservative agenda. If they are anything, they're the entertainment. The naughty entertainment.

CPAC m4m - 43 (National Harbor)

Radical libertarian would like to tie up and abuse proglodyte and leftover journalists. Boys who look like Sally Kohn or Chris Hayes who need to be tied up, slapped around and fu*ked. Also any Rick Santorum supporters in the closet  or younger versions of Lindsay Graham or John McCain. Of if you are just a decent constitutionalist type, we can have regular non-hate sex or a drink. Your place.

These are just three of the volumes of gay sex-seeking personal ads on Craigslist -- dudes just looking for love while the conservatives are in town. Seems like CPAC is quite a freaky annual outing -- and I do mean outing.

But, just so you don't think that the these convention folks are all bigots, there was this ad:

CPAC Head - 34 (DC)

Cpac ad picture

Masculine, super-discreet and clean cut black guy looking to give head to masculine guy in town for CPAC. DDF only. Any race.

In case, like myself, you didn't know what DDF stood for, I looked it up. It means Drug and Disease Free. Good for those ultra conservatives. They really are concerned with healthcare. Just not Obamacare.

I'm sure not all conservatives are freaks. Others are just plain ignorant or in some cases, stupid. But from this HuffPo report, there's certainly lots of partying going on, and from these ads -- this mostly boys club gives new meaning to the expression, "boys will be boys." It's more like boys will be into other boys.

File this under the 'GOP hypocrite files.' These are the same people who fight same sex marriage, pass bills restricting women's right to choose and religious freedom bills designed to be anti-gay bills. Who are they fighting for with their rhetoric? Probably tonight's No Strings Attached anonymous hook-up.


Addicted To Porn -- Thank God For That


Porn Addiction
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, evidently is porn.

Is there really an addiction to porn? Well chances are, if you're religious (any denomination will do) you have a larger chance of having this so called porn addiction. At least in your own eyes.

Psychologists argue over whether sex addiction and porn addiction are really "legitimate illnesses." That's because defining the malady is like trying to decide what is porn is -- it's  a subjective judgment. Over the years we've gone from no limits -- ancient Roman days -- to the Victorian era where even a naked female ankle was considered offensive and could lead to jailing -- to now. In our current Internet era just about anything goes -- no, anything goes.

And with the proliferation of free and immediate access to questionable materials of all extremes, there are those who find that their exposure and need to view it (prurient interests) all the time has become the so-called "porn addiction". People who can't leave their house without viewing these salacious materials. They fill their work breaks with smartphone visits to "adult" sites. And then they can't wait to come home, even skipping the obligatory picking up the milk and bread for the family until they've had their "fix."

Experts in mental health have been doing some research -- yeah, I bet they have -- and are trying to find out how big a mental health issue this has become. And as with most scientific research there are many interpretations and evaluations. What may surprise you is who feels they're "addicted" to porn. According to a recent article in HUFFPO:

Feel like you're addicted to porn? Your religion could have something to do with your answer.

Compared with their less spiritual peers, people who identified as "very religious" were more likely to have a perceived Internet pornography addiction, no matter how much porn they actually consumed, according to a new study.

What seems to be self-evident, in light of any definitive, clinical definition of "addiction to porn" is that judgement of whether or not you have this malady/reliance/need to view is impacted by -- religion. Yup, that's right. Religion, you sinners. Listen up.

First the scientific world (American Psychiatric Association):

Some researchers have proposed that compulsive viewing of Internet pornography could be a subcategory of sex addiction, sometimes called hypersexual disorder. But psychologists have not been able to agree on whether sex addiction (let alone porn addiction) fits the same addiction model that is used to describe people with substance abuse problems, for example. Sex addiction was not recognized in the latest version of the American Psychiatric Association's mental health handbook, the DSM-5, and there is no official diagnosis.

From reading that, it's not a certainty if there really is a diagnosed criteria for even having a sex addiction, let alone a porn addiction. The first -- sex addiction -- seems to be a need to actively participate. The other -- porn addiction -- seems to be a voracious need to ingest lots of pictures and videos. But neither rise to the APA's handbook of scientific ailments. So what's a horny guy/gal gonna do?

To find out whether or not you have it, you must move to another book. The bible. Having been written so long ago, I doubt other than some tales of adultery or wife swapping, you're going to find your answers there. But amazingly, that's the book that seems to be the cause, at least in thinking, of people convinced they have this malady, porn addiction.

"We were surprised that the amount of viewing did not impact the perception of addiction, but strong moral beliefs did," the study's lead author Joshua Grubbs, a doctoral student in psychology at Case Western Reserve University, said in a statement.

So, for any of you readers who sneak a peek every now and then at adult sites, you probably don't have an addiction to porn. If you feel you do, take a look at your religious beliefs. They may be playing tricks on you. So stow away those guilt feelings. You're normal -- at least as far as normal gets. If you weren't, would the Porn Industry look like this?

Brigham Young University:

  • Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US
  • -Adult Videos $20.0 billion
  • -Escort Services $11.0 billion
  • -Magazines $ 7.5 billion
  • -Sex Clubs $ 5.0 billion
  • -Phone Sex $ 4.5 billion
  • -Cable & Pay Per View $ 2.5 billion
  • -Internet $ 2.5 billion
  • -CD-Rom $ 1.5 billion
  • -Novelties $ 1.0 billion
  • -Other $ 1.5 billion
  • Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.
  • US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC (6.2 billion)

Those are not numbers that show you're addicted, it shows you're perfectly mainstream. And you're probably not ill, just feeling guilty. If so, you might very well have religion, or dare I say it, God, to blame.

bible imagry

So next time you have the urge to see something thought to be "adult" content, you're just doing what everyone else is doing. And if you think it's wrong, that's your decision. Tip #1, don't Google "dominatrix" or "group sex" or "Wife Beater Illustrated" and expect a family friendly site. But consider those revenue numbers above. They dwarf the donations to the Catholic Church. From Wikipedia:

In 2010, Catholic Charities had revenues of $4.7 billion, $2.9 billion of which came from the US government. Only about $140 million came from donations from diocesan churches. 

So stow away that guilt. The numbers don't lie. We're putting our money where our "privates" really are. Pope Francis is quite a progressive thinker by the church's standards. How much longer until the new Internet interactive bible comes out with a forward by the Pontiff and an optional, adults app. It'll probably include intimate photos of the various sins and in various positions? I can see the updated app including the video of "The A-Salt on Lot's Wife," "The Real Burning Bush," and Leviticus 18:20 -- "How to Commit Adultery -- The Pictorial Handbook." This way you can have your porn and your religious beliefs, all under one swipe. And if you're viewing it at work, just click "escape" and John 3:16 will appear on your screen.


GOP Right Wing Representatives "Traditional Marriage" Take - Threesomes



Nobody with an ounce of common sense would say that Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kansas) isn't colorful, if not just plain daft. He's as right wing, conservative and evangelical as it gets. That 'holy trinity' is what stands between him and sanity.


Minutes after the House passed a bill raising the debt ceiling, Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kan.) led a group of Republican colleagues to the House floor to stress their support for traditional marriage.

So, the ink wasn't even dry on their vote before Timmy and a few cohorts, familiar names -- Reps. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) and Ted Yoho (R-Fla.) -- felt the next big issue to tackle in Congress after the Republicans failed efforts to once again shut down the government, was to limit something else. The holy sanctity of marriage.

Now they don't really want to limit marriage as much as they want to define it and turn it into -- drum roll please -- all marriages will become threesomes.


While you're letting that sink in, here's the lucky guy they want to join you and your spouse in every marriage union -- to sanctify and make it whole. You must bring another guy into the picture. Who? Who else: "Him."


No more one man, one woman marriage. It's threesomes or get out of town. Group sex and only for procreation, that's the Hueskamp ticket. Gotta hand it to these Evangelicals. They're party animals under the covers. Three-ways. You sly dogs.

Huelskamp took to the floor of the House of Representatives boasting his knowledge of history: marriage predates the Civil War. Well, how can anyone argue with that? Of course it does. But his citation of proof goes something like this:

[Huelskamp] stressing how "marriage predates government." He added that the GOP's 1856 party platform warned against the “twin evils of slavery and barbarism,” which he said includes “irregular marriage.”

Irregular marriage is defined by him as any marriage that isn't between a man and a woman and Him. So basically two-person heterosexual marriage and two person same-sex marriage aren't kosher. Not unless they turn them into threesomes.

"It’s just not you and your spouse," Huelskamp said. "There’s a third person in your marriage. And God would like to bless and protect that marriage, and give you many fruitful days ahead.”

Now, perhaps in Kansas threesomes are looked upon as normal, but in Massachusetts, where I grew up, we'd call that and "irregular marriage," probably even kinky, or something out of the Book of Mormon. Either way, that's some statement for Timbo to be tossing around. Do we know if "He" practices safe sex or would it be left to a DNA test to determine who was the real father? I doubt if "He's" shooting blanks.

One thing's for sure -- abortion would be out of the Question. "He" would never approve of that!

So, if you're like me and married, you better start fluffing the extra pillow while you wait around the real "Big Guy" to join the party. I'm not too shy to say, I'm probably going to experience some penis envy, but hey, it's a threesome. I guess yesterday's kinky sex is today's traditional marriage. Just ask Tim.


Sex Sells, Especially in Canada


legal prostition

Whackadoo Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto, must be dancing in his skivvies right about now. He's going to be able to frequent more often his favorite dining places -- whore houses in Toronto -- actually in all of Canada. He won't be restricted to eating at home, as he put it so eloquently when he's got the urge.

Just hours ago, the Canadian's highest court in the land just struck down it's anti-prostitution laws. They didn't just strike them down, they smashed them. The vote on this measure was 9-0. No dissent.


OTTAWA (AP) — Canada's highest court has struck down the country's prostitution laws in their entirety in a unanimous 9-0 ruling.

The high court on Friday struck down all three prostitution-related laws: against keeping a brothel, living on the avails of prostitution, and street soliciting.

The ruling is a victory for sex workers seeking safer working conditions because it found that the laws violated the charter guarantee to life, liberty and security of the person.

I guess common sense and safety are really an important set of issues with our Canuck friends up north, "eh." Looks like hockey is going to be come Canada's second most popular after hours activity.

Now this isn't quite a done deal yet but it's cleared the highest hurdle -- the country's supreme court. But before you go planning your next vacation up north, there's a window in which the Parliament can strike this down. They have one year to do so. But if Rob Ford has any say, there's gonna be some partying with hookers going on up there as soon as the waiting period is up. If you're looking for a stock tip, I'm not a licensed broker, so I can't give you professional advice. Putting on my soothsayer hat, which looks very seasonal right about now, I'd consider investing in the Canadian tourism industry. They're going to be booking many a trip to the land of the Maple Leaf -- and it's not going to be for the hockey or maple syrup -- unless of course you're really into the kinky. This move is surely to be a boob, I mean boom to the Canadian economy.


A New Kind Of Erectile Dysfunction Ad (NSFW)


Advertising icons

I love catching a fun ad on TV. Some of them are so creative that they actually sail over my head in their... cleverness. There's insurance company ads where fathers use hoses to bath their big as a house babies. There's an especially mind boggling commercial for a video game which features a post apocalyptic Las Vegas, burned out and smoking, with Sinatra singing in the background, and a lone car filled with survivors, armed to the gills, driving through the debris. I think if you're old enough to get the Sinatra/Vegas connection, you're way beyond playing Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto, but hey, what do I know. I'm not Don Draper.

None-the-less, millions are spent in advertising dollars to get our attention, and then once they have that, selling us an item is secondary. It no longer seems that the commercial be pertinent to the product. Just grab our attention. A talking Gecko or a dancing hot dog or a red-headed clown will do, if it's cute enough. But when those gimmicks fail, there's always SEX.

Yes, the bottom line is that sex sells -- anything.

Here's an example. You've just lost grandma to old age. You can't keep her in the garage, so you elect, like most folks, to bury her. If you're handy, like those people on HG TV's Celebrity Home Coffin Makers, you can build your own pine box. But if you're not, you may need to purchase one.

What do you look for when buying something to last an eternity? The coffin industry thinks sex:

coffin ad 1

Perhaps that's a bit too subtle but not for the Polish coffin makers. Well, here's more from Cracked:

The owner of Lindner Coffins has fended off accusations of tastelessness by claiming that he wanted to "show the beauty of Polish girls and the beauty of our coffins," and insisting that a coffin is "furniture, the last bed you'll ever sleep in." According to the calendar's (not safe for work) promo page, the 2014 theme is "nature, which we express with perfect harmony between Lindner coffins and natural wood."

coffin ad 2

And speaking of "natural wood" how about this Thai commercial for fertilizer. I dare you to watch this commercial and not get the "hidden meaning," or get a rise out of it. Subtle it ain't. But hysterical it is.

Move over, Mad Men:


Circumcision, No. Chop It All Off


boys and girls rooms

As a guy writing about this, I can only cringe. This post is about bathrooms, obstinance and ignorance-- oh, and penis removal. The focus of this week's wackatude of the week is a member of the school board in Colorado. It seems she's got the Wizard of Oz's Scarecrow deficiency which has led her to making perhaps the most outrageous statement since Michele Bachmann died.

Oh, she didn't die? My bad. I thought with all those stupid remarks attributed to her, if she was still living, she'd had denied them. I guess that's what happens when you're not fully informed.


A Colorado school board member is facing criticism after she said that transgender students would need to be castrated before the student could use the school bathrooms that fit their gender identity.

Talk about holding it in when you need to go.

According to Delta County School Board member Katherine Svenson a person born transgendered should be put under the knife. For what? I understand for religious reasons Jews are snipped in the bud, but now a person's sexuality is the determining factor? And Svenson's not just talking about a little snip from the tip. She wants the entire plumbing removed. What planet are we on?

I'm not sure when we're talking about Delta County. My map says it's in the Grand Junction area of Colorado. Though I know they've voted in some districts to secede, the entire state of Colorado is still part of the US.

“I don’t have a problem if some boys think they are girls, I’m just saying as long as they can impregnate a woman, they’re not going to go in the girls' locker-room,”she [Svenson] said.

Somehow Board Member Svenson isn't aware of her own states laws.

Back in June, Colorado's Civil Rights Division ruled in favor of a transgender students having the right to use the restroom for the gender that they identify as.

Seventeen states, including Colorado and the District of Columbia, now outlaw discrimination against transgendered people.

So, if you're up for some total wackiness, listen to Ms. Svenson defending herself. Close your eyes and you'll think you're hearing the late Congresswoman Bachmann. Oops. Sorry. I did it again. Well, watch this anyway:


Sex, Drugs, Rap And Alcohol -- That's What Makes A Florida Congressman


sex, drugs, rap, alcohol 2

Republican Trey Radel is a complicated man with a complicated life. This past week it seems he came to national attention with his cocaine bust. Actually the bust came weeks ago, the publicity only came this week with his guilty plea and his public apologies. In watching those crocodile-teared pleas for forgiveness, I couldn't get over how he constantly referred to his wife as "my rock" and his child as "my little guy." I guess they don't use first names in the Radel family, just refer to them as inanimate objects.

Now what I also learned about Rep. Radel is that he loves Rap music. The 37 year old congressman was best-known for self-identifying as a “hip-hop conservative.” In an essay for BuzzFeed, he professed his love for the rap group NWA as a teenager in suburban Cincinnati. Unfortunately, the more he talked about their lyrics the more evident it becomes that he doesn't really understand what they really meant -- but hey, he's a rebellious gangsta, we kind of get it. That should be enough.

When he takes a break, the coke snorting addict who's also a recovering alcoholic bandied about that his favorite vacation spot is Cartegena, Columbia. Is it just a coincidence that it's the cocaine capital of South America which is the cocaine capital of the entire world?

I guess to call Representative Radel a complicated man would be an understatement. As the title of this post indicates, there's a sex connection to him as well. Leave it to good old Mother Jones to share:

Radel, a tea party favorite and a Fox News radio host, came to office with an unusual background, having run a business that bought somewhat pornographic sex-themed domain names in both English and Spanish, as Mother Jones reported last year. Radel's business snagged all sorts of un-family-friendly domain names, including ("whorehouse") and ("little blow job").

So, as the Florida representative takes his "leave of absence," maybe its time for Speaker John Boehner to reconsider his handslap punishment and grow some balls. Get rid of this guy. This isn't the kind of man who should be representing the wonderful but politically challenged Sunshine State. They have enough problems with the likes of Marco Rubio, Alan Keyes, and Rick Scott. They can use a new representative in Southwest Florida, one who isn't sitting in a rehabilitation center but sitting in Congress, helping his constituents in this very important time of need. There's the federal budget, Immigration Reform, Healthcare, food stamps, a farm bill, sanctions against Iran -- all of these need attention, not a representative who's MIA.

I'm glad Radel's getting help. But he should be doing it as a private citizen, not a sitting US Representative.