Archive for satire

SNL spoofs CNN: Pregnancy test sends out countless irrelevant bulletins

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Whether we watch CNN, MSNBC, Fox, or the Big Three TV networks, we are often subjected to a constant stream of non-news, redundant reporting, irrelevant stories, inane bulletins, anchors and commentators with nothing new to say, repetitive clips, video packages, you name it.

I rarely watch CNN any more, but I do keep an eye out for interesting tweets on the Twitter Machine. And guess what? The tweets from people and organizations I follow were filled with mockery and snark about CNN's incessant coverage of the horrific Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappearance.

Coverage of a major news story is one thing, red herrings and extraneous filler are quite another. It was hard to avoid the multitude of tweets noting how CNN devoted twenty-four hours a day (or so it seemed) to one story, even when there was nothing to report.

Ocean footage is not news.

CNN was clearly aware of the social media reaction. Well, Jake Tapper was, anyway. When I retweeted Jacki Schechner (@JackiSchechner), about it, he popped into our thread to inform us that CNN, as we speak, was airing a report about something else. Hey, if you have to interject that your network has taken a hiatus from their fixation on one story, then maybe the criticism is valid.

jake tapper tweet jacki schechner CNN Malaysia

That's an order! One that I didn't obey.

If only news networks would become, you know, news networks, instead of commercialized, ratings-centric infotainment feeds.

And with that, here is Saturday Night Live's "commercial" spoofing news media coverage generally and CNN specifically. They nailed it:

BREAKING: CNN more confident than ever that it will soon know if you’re pregnant,” read one alert from the test, in between updates about Oscar Pistorius removing his legs in court and Kesha. Ultimately, we learned nothing from the pregnancy test...

H/t: Mediaite

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Fox News: Let's School The Lefties On Food Stamps

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Boy, when you want to tell a whopper of a tale, there's nobody better than the news writers over at Fox News. They can spin a simple getting a sliver in your finger into a conspiracy from the wood products industry along with the physicians and surgeons guild (if there really was one) to rampantly perform amputations to boost up the artificial limbs industry.

Face it, they never met a factual molehill they couldn't turn into a mountain. And there's no one better at pointing out these absurdities than Jon Stewart.

We all know that the recent, racial animus that our Republican House and Senate members have been espousing lately is well documented by their promotion department, aka Fox News. It's down with food stamps because it enables lazy Blacks (actually a majority or recipients are white) to sit home and eat well. Paul Ryan, of brown paper bag fame wants to eliminate school lunches altogether because we shouldn't be encouraging lazy urban (read minority) single parents not to look for jobs. And hey, what's with that awful extension of the long term unemployment bill the Senate voted on the other day? That's again so totally wrong. If the unmotivated, unemployed (in GOP talk, that's code for minorities) don't want to work, why should we reward them?

In response to The Daily Show's mocking of Fox New's biased and bigoted reporting, the Rupert Murdoch stooges chose to take on Jon Stewart and Comedy Central. They elected to "school" the comedian/satirist. Bad move, Fox. You had to know your outrageous 'response-to-the-response' was coming. And boy, did it ever. Stewart eviscerates Fox like he's dueling with an unarmed man. Watch:

Sorry - we're having trouble with the 'embed' code for this story. Here's the direct link:

http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:cms:video:thedailyshow.com:433733

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MSNBC: Preen forward #OhButIKid

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Oh, but I kid MSNBC. I watch it every single day, and despite it being the only major cable news outlet I can tolerate (or appreciate), there are a few observations that I can no longer keep to myself. Gotta vent. Here's my (satirical) take on MSNBC daytime:

MSNBC Host 1: So welcome to my very own show. So, today's guests are Goldie Taylor, Howard Fineman, David Corn, Joan Walsh, Michael Steele, Jonathan Alter, Michael Eric Dyson, Nicolle Wallace, Mark Halperin, Michael Isikoff, Jonathan Capehart, Kasie Hunt, Eugene Robinson, Ezra Klein, Dave Weigel, Steve Schmidt, and all my fellow MSNBC hosts who are all here to talk about their very own shows! Every single one of them. So have I told you guys what a great job you do? GOD you're good. You all excel at your jobs! To call you stellar doesn't do you justice! I'm so proud to call you "colleagues."

Chuck Todd, Steve Kornacki, Alex Wagner, Chris Hayes, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Krystal Ball, Karen Finney, Melissa Harris-Perry, Ari Melber: So, thank you, my friend! So, congratulations to us! So, group hug to Camera Three!

MSNBC Host 2: So when we return, we'll explore why every MSNBC commentator begins each thought with, "So..." We'll be back in 15 minutes after these messages from Cialis, Cymbalta, Lipitor, Abilify, Celebrex, Humira, Nasonex, and Lyrica.

Chuck Todd, Steve Kornacki, Alex Wagner, Chris Hayes, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Krystal Ball, Karen Finney, Melissa Harris-Perry, Ari Melber: So you forgot AT&T, BP, Exxon, Citibank, catheters, vaginal dryness meds, and Christian Mingle!

One hour later...

MSNBC Host 2: So here to help us make some sense of our top story is the host of [insert any MSNBC daytime show here]. Thanks for being here, Other Host.

Other MSNBC Host: So I'm honored, my friend. You are awesome.

MSNBC Host 2: So no, YOU are, my friend.

Other MSNBC Host: No, YOU! So.

Luke Russert: Um, hello? So did somebody forget to intro Tim Russert's trying-to-fill-his-father's-big-shoes son over here on the monitor? So I've got an exclusive I'm dying to break right here on your very own show, MSNBC Host 2!

MSNBC Host 2: So we could never forget YOU, Luke, my friend, my brother. What's your scoop? You always have the BEST scoops! GOD you're good.

Luke: So, so are you. You are a FABULOUS host, as are you, Other MSNBC Host. You two are superb at everything you do. Nobody does it better. So I'm in tears. Seriously. So how cool is it that we're all such good friends? So who knew being this incestuous could pay so well?

MSNBC Host 2: So tell us your scoop, Amazingly Adept Luke, my brother, my friend, MSNBC's own Sage of Washington DC, Our Capitol Hill Crusader! So don't you just love these obvious displays of public camaraderie? It's like our own private little club! So whatcha got, my friend?

Luke: Well crap. I forgot.

MSNBC Host 2: So we'll be back right after these words from Cialis, Cymbalta, Lipitor, Abilify, Celebrex, Axiron, Humira, Nasonex, Lyrica,  AT&T, BP, Exxon, Citibank, catheters, vaginal dryness meds, Febreze, Aleve, Verizon, Samsung, Cliffside Malibu Rehab Center, Christian Mingle, GE, financial groups you've never heard of, and endless promos of other MSNBC programming and the new MSNBC website!

One hour later...

MSNBC Host 3: So now for more repetitive analysis, welcome back to the hosts of all of our other fantastic shows. You all do such great work. Nobody does it better than you, my friends. GREAT reporting! You all look GREAT! Our audiences should be tuning into each of your shows every single day and night, no matter what effect that much exposure to redundant political infotainment has on their personal relationships!

Chuck Todd, Steve Kornacki, Alex Wagner, Chris Hayes, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Krystal Ball, Karen Finney, Melissa Harris-Perry, Ari Melber: So Rachel has a very special Special coming up! Let's plug it! Over and over and over again!

MSNBC Host 3: I was just about to. But first, may I just say, you guys really set a high bar for journalistic standards. GREAT reporting, guys! But now it's time for the Tweet of the Day from Chris Matthews, MSNBC's very own god. But first: So when is Ezra Klein getting his own show already? He may put us to sleep in seconds, but he does such incredibly GREAT work! GREAT reporting! What a find! Am I right, my friends? Hey Farrow, stop giggling. So I'll get your responses to this and more on the other side of the commercial break. We have a new sponsor: ZzzKlein, er, Quil.

Fade out.

(Laffy Note: I didn't forget to include Lawrence O'Donnell, Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz, or Rachel Maddow in the Long Host List. While they do pop in on election nights or to promote a special or a book occasionally, they rarely guest on other shows as commentators/panel members.)

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Frack Water ad snarkage exposes motives behind Gov. Brown's fracking push

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what the frack

What the frack, Gov. Jerry Brown? First he's in a panic about the "evil weed", and now he supports the evil deed, as you can see in the following press release. Both issues affect my home state of California, and both are rantworthy.

The good news: My old pal Andy Cobb has put out yet another hilarious video filled with snarkitude that skewers his targets in all kinds of memorable and effective ways. We owe you one, Andy. The bad news: The vile F word won't go away: Frack (scroll).

Frack Water Cologne Ad Exposes Motives Behind Gov. Brown’s Fracking Push

New online video and campaign finance analysis highlight dangers of fracking, influence of Big Oil in California

California Governor Jerry Brown is taking a hit today for his penchant for fracking and dirty energy donations with a new satirical online video launched by Oil Change International (OCI) and comedians Andy Cobb and Mike Damanskis of Heavy Crude Video. The video is the latest escalation of the Big Oil Brown campaign effort sponsored by OCI, pushing for a ban on fracking for oil and gas in the state.

The video parody, entitled “Frack Water,” portrays a Governor Brown look-alike outside a southern California oil field accompanied by a California oil industry representative, in a shot for shot remake of a 2004 Stetson cologne advertisement starring actor Matthew McConaughey:

"In a land plagued by drought, one man stands tall….We won’t tell you what’s in it, but Big Oil Brown’s got it all over him…Jerry Brown’s frackwater. A fragrance that smells like a man…a man who doesn’t give a [bleep] about drought or climate change."

Here is the original McConaughey ad:

Also out today is a new analysis released by Oil Change International that outlines the massive contributions from the oil industry to the Governor’s coffers in recent years. The review shows these contributions have surpassed $2 million since 2006.

The campaign contribution analysis can be found here.

“You can’t buy back your legacy, Governor, even with all that Big Oil cash,” Turnbull said. “California is on the brink of climate catastrophe and fracking up the state will help push it over the edge. Californians deserve better than to be beholden to Big Oil’s desires and befouled by their stench.”

The video and analysis come just over a week ahead of a major mobilization in Sacramento planned for March 15th, where thousands of anti-fracking activists from around the state are expected. More information on the March 15th mobilization can be found at www.dontfrackcalifornia.org.

More from the team at Heavy Crude Video can be seen here.

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Billy Kristol v. Bill Maher:  Too Delicious To Deny Yourself, Liberals

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Bill Maher

Image: Crooks and Liars

Written by guest contributor, "hardybear" of the wonderful Free Range Talk site,

"That's childish(!), " Seriously Scolded one miked man. Who has been the stentorian leader of the conservative crap-rag "Weekly Standard" since Rupert M. bankrolled it, a dedicated Iraq [and any and all other] War proponent and his own biggest fan ... William Kristol. Reduced to a carnelian-faced stammering middle-schooler in ten Real Time with Bill Maher minutes.

Military spending is sacred, yadda yadda yadda -- "Have you ever met a war you didn't love?!?" was zinged in by the razor-sharp host shortly before he visibly mastered some Kristol Rage and calmly suggested, "Let's move on ... Because I'm Pissed" at 10:31p.m. Live Vermont time. [4 Min. 10 seconds into the first Vid above.]

Image JimAbts dot com

Image JimAbts dot com

Kristol: "You made my night!" ... BoOOO! HisSSS! from Real Time fans and those of us  gleefully playing along at home; because Billy K is an arrogant, braggadocio-driven piss-poor excuse for a pundit.

He was ably partnered in neo-con strait-jacketed Margaret Hoover, Kristol's wingman and co-defense for the Military Industrial Complex. I do not recommend you read her book "American Individualism" even if she is Herbert Hoover's great-granddaughter ...Hoover was vastly more palatable in the Rear View.  It's SO not a stretch to picture the ambitious blonde crooning Bomb, Bomb Iran from the top of a Baby Grand.
The 'to his right' at table special guest, Bruce Dern, was a bloody return to sanity. How often can you say that? It's Maher's World after all.

The show then took a bit of a wondrous turn. [Video above.] Dern told a heartfelt and rarely heard tale of his own Dad's law partner, Adlai Stevenson, taking the fledgling NYC actor Bruce to supper and talking presidential campaign politics. It was riveting ... who knew Dern's great-great-Grandpa was the first non-Mormon governor of Utah?!?

And for the true Moments of Guffaw, Maher's last segment is a brilliant satire on income inequality and other assorted things Presently Pissing Him Off.  Praise Jeebus he is on  our side, liberals!

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Girls Just Being Girls -- Packing A Swiffle Wallup

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Now that the Super Bowl is just a distant memory, some of the commercials you may have missed but were produced for that huge audience are finally being seen.

This one's for a new product, especially useful for clean-up chores after a big Super Bowl bash. All those dropped chips and dip, the salted nuts, assorted pizza toppings, and caked on guacamole ground deep into the carpet. Oh, and let's not forget the stale spilled beer smell.

In times like these that a woman could use some help in the clean-up department. And it's not coming from you manly men. Besides, that shit's women's work. No, the only thing you gals need is a Swiffle. It combines the stalwart cleaning abilities of a Swiffer with the genteel sense of a lamenting "sniffle" for being stuck with all the post-party elbow grease and hard work facing you.

Until now you've felt there was no way out, and certainly no help from your dude. Relax. Swiffle has arrived. And it has many everyday uses, not just for post Super Bowl events.  It's tough enough to take on all sorts of dirt, grease and grime. Who knows, one day it could even be used for Congress, especially in the GOP caucus rooms. They're sorely overdue for a deep house cleansing.

Hopefully this light and breezy (doesn't that already sound like a Madison Avenue description?) satire will open some eyes and some minds.

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Hannity Threatens To Leave In A Huff, Or A Minute And A Huff

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When Jon Stewart's Daily Show takes on a pressing issue, they know how to do it right. They hold nothing back and, painful as it may be, give us the truth and nothing but.

Sean Hannity's threatened departure from New York is a perfect example of The Daily show laying all emotions bare, exposing raw nerves, revealing our true love, even if it's man-on-man love, for one of Fox New's most vaunted icons.

Please take a moment, let your senses savor Nathan Lane, the cast of The Jersey Boys and the many regular people on the streets of the Big Apple imploring Mr. Hannity to reconsider his threatened exile. Here's what this conservative giant among mankind means to them, the city of New York, and the rest of the world.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

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