Archive for russia

Spy vs Spy: The Snowden and Putin Lovefest

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This is a repost via 'repost.us' from our friend Alan Colmes's site Liberaland.

Spy vs. Spy? The Snowden And Putin Lovefest (via Liberaland)

“Mr. Snowden, you are a former agent, a spy, I used to be working for an intelligence service; we are going to talk one professional language” So began the obviously unplanned, completely random televised conversation between Russian President…


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Bill Maher Gushes to Pussy Riot: 'You Guys Are Gangsta'

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Putin
Image: Wikipedia

Congratulations to Bill Maher for having Pussy Riot on his show!

A repost from RawStory:

Bill Maher gushes to Pussy Riot: ‘You guys are gangsta’ (via Raw Story )

Real Time host Bill Maher was effusive toward members of the Russian punk activist group Pussy Riot during an interview Friday, praising their resolve throughout both government resistance and imprisonment. “The great thing about what happened to…

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Cartoon o' the day: GOP Putin envy

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Putin envy Chris Hayes

If you suffer from Putin envy, you might be a Republican. In fact, you're most likely a member of the official GOP Chicken Hawk Coalition, one that should be quarantined stat and treated for any number of related Obama Derangement disorders. Caution: Putin envy can be contagious and is difficult to cure. Side effects include:

  • riding horses bare-chested in sub-zero weather
  • applauding aggression that threaten world peace
  • starting fraudulent wars with sovereign countries that never attacked us
  • resorting to voter suppression in order to win elections
  • Pavlovian frothing at the mouth when television cameras are turned on
  • chronic gerrymandering
  • calling reporters "idiots" and generally sidestepping their questions
  • annoyingly loud over-talking and hyperbole
  • demeaning women
  • demeaning the LGBT community
  • demeaning Latinos
  • demeaning African Americans
  • demeaning the first African American president
  • chronic obstruction
  • chronic hypocrisy
  • acquiring an inexplicable resemblance to dogs:

Putin dog

Via The Star Tribune, here is an excellent political cartoon by Steve Sack that addresses Putin envy and a few of its degenerate symptoms:

GOP Putin envy russia Steve Sack cartoon via Star Tribune dot com

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Time for Another Stand-Up Political Comedy Blog

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comedy3 laugh jokes political comedy"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!

Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Vice President BIDEN said this week that the U.S. is considering sending troops to Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. It's bad enough that PUTIN took over the Crimea. We don't want to wake up one morning and find out that "Russia has us by the Baltics."

PUTIN'S approval rating has actually gone up 10 percent since he sent troops into the Crimea. When he heard, PRESIDENT OBAMA just shrugged and ordered troops to invade Canada.

VLADIMIR PUTIN signed a treaty that formally absorbs Crimea into the Russian Federation. I'm so frustrated. Just when I found out where the Crimea was, it's gone.

PUTIN said he can do this because of a little known rule in the U.N. Security Council. It is Article 5, section 3, clause 12 that states, "Finders keepers."

"March Madness" has tipped off this week and PRESIDENT OBAMA picked Florida, Arizona, Louisville and Michigan State to make it to the final four, with Michigan State beating Louisville to win the tournament. In response, VLADIMIR PUTIN started moving troops into Gonzaga.

Surprisingly, "March Madness" isn't that big a deal with CHARLIE SHEEN. Maybe it's because he'll have "April Madness," "May Madness"... and it'll go on right to the end of the year.

Two million people turned out for New York City's annual St. Patrick's Day Parade and at least half of them had been drinking since dawn. It's the one parade where the horses are the ones who have to watch where they step.

KOBE BRYANT told ESPN that he thinks even PRESIDENT OBAMA could make the Lakers' roster this year. He runs well, we've all seen him as a candidate. He's a straight shooter. too straight when it comes to negotiating with Republicans. Only one problem, he can't seem to pass anything.

Republican National Committee Chairman REINCE PRIEBUS said that the 2014 midterms will be a victory for Republicans thanks to Obamacare. Coincidentally, the name, REINCE PRIEBUS, sounds like something that can be cured with penicillin and is probably covered under Obamacare.

Tax season is once again upon us. It's a time when the government "OF the people, FOR the people and BY the people," stick it "TO the people."

Between the Federal, State and City my income has been taxed so often it has stretch marks.

This year I don't have to use H&R BLOCK because I'm H&R Broke.

It's also that time of the year, Spring Break time, when thousands of students will be heading to beaches and resorts to drink, do drugs and have sex. It's the only time in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida when condoms out sell "Depends."

Then they'll return to school and it's back to the same old grind - To drink, do drugs and have sex.

Los Angeles had an earthquake this week that registered 4.4 on the Richter Scale. To refresh everyone on the meaning of Richter Scale numbers. 3.2 means you'll need to get new glassware, 4.7 you'll need new cups and saucers and an 8.6 means you'll need to get new underwear.

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Monday Links

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Missing Malaysian plane: Search race to recover debris

Ukraine orders Crimea withdrawal

Rising death toll from US landslide

Egypt court sentences 528 to death

Sarajevo: the crossroads of history

Oil spill is impacting economy in Texas City with a ripple effect across the coast

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Cold War redux: "Freeze dried tension. Refrigerated Tang with a shot of paranoia."

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cold war cartoon Khrushchev v Kennedy arm wrestle

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst who's having a little fun with the unnerving stand-off between Russia and the United States. Ahh, there's nothing like reminiscing about the good bad old days:

The Frigid Fracas

After an absence of 25 years, it's downright ducky to be able to welcome back one of the great socio-politico conflicts in the history of the planet. How about a round of applause folks, because the Cold War is back and it's colder and warrier than ever.

Like an old friend popping up on your doorstep after moving to South America or Akron a quarter century ago, it is with a mixture of exhilaration and dread to see him again. All the right words are mouthed: "No, YOU look exactly the same," but inside you're praying he's just here for a quick visit and no extended stay. "So, what are your plans?"

To MI6, the British Intelligence Foreign Section Division, the Cold War was an extension of a conflict with Russia that began in the early 19th Century. To we USAers, it was a post WWII battle for the eternal soul of mankind. But it doesn't matter what you call it: Great Game, Frigid Fracas, Siberian Skirmish: the Cold War is guaranteed to ice your nerves and frost your sense of security. Freeze dried tension. Refrigerated Tang with a shot of paranoia.

Now that the mumps, measles and polio are on the comeback trail as well, the Teens are starting to look like the 50s all over again. The future will be televised in black and white; comforting we early Baby Boomers who always remained skeptical of that whole multi-hued thing. And like the Twilight Zone was scarier in black and white, so was Nikita Khrushchev. As was Speedy, the Alka Seltzer mascot.

The return of this Arctic Animus means all sorts of retro activities accompanying it; saber rattling. Nuclear standoffs. Propaganda. Espionage. One inch wide ties. Poisoned tipped umbrellas and exploding cigars- right around the corner. And Hula Hoops, only now they come with an app.

This won't be your father's ideological confrontation however. No longer a showdown between Democracy and Communism, because that fight is history like shag carpeting. Russians may dream of Mother Russia but everybody else in the world wants to be Americans.

Besides, many more opportunities for corruption exist in a democracy than socialism. Who knew? And the Super Powers have gone the way of Howdy Doody and penny candy. Less relevant than chrome bumpers and tinfoil covered rabbit ears.

No, this is more like that boxing movie Hollywood recently released with Stallone and DeNiro. Two aging Mediocre Powers trying to rekindle a dubiously remembered time gone by in an age where you can watch Indonesian soap operas on your eyeglasses while walking over the street in an air conditioned skyway.

Putin ostensibly sent troops into Crimea because he was worried about the rights of its citizens. Putin. Worried about the rights of others. Unh-hunh. Real similar to a bobcat worried about a poodle's breakfast. A shark concerned with breakfast's feelings. Bacteria worried over spoiling breakfast. Ask the Chechens about Mister KGB standing up for people's rights. Or Pussy Riot.

And while the world retreats into a circle around the two combatants, Putin and Obama are busy picking teams for their recycled rivalry. Considering the playground nature of this squabble, wouldn't be surprised if it came down to shirts and skins. Pretty sure Putin is going to choose skins.

Copyright ©2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. One of three Bay Area comedians to be featured in the documentary film "3 Still Standing." To find out more about the post- production fundraiser on Thursday, March 27, 2014, at Alfred's Steakhouse, go to 3stillstanding.com.

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Thursday Links

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Susanne Atanus, Who Blames Gay Rights For Tornadoes, Wins GOP Nomination For Congress

Rand Paul Compares Republican Party To Domino's Pizza: 'We Need A Different Kind Of Party'

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's Crack Video Described By Police

Russian Forces Storm Ukrainian Naval Headquarters In Crimea

Nate Silver’s New Science Writer Ignores The Data On Climate Science

Kansas, Arizona Laws Requiring Voters Prove Citizenship Upheld

Louisiana Public School Finds Out It Can't Force Christianity On Students

The Toxins That Threaten Our Brains

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