There once was a Speaker named Boehner
Whose leadership couldn't be vainer
He followed the extremist tea party
Which proved he wasn't a smarty
So now he’s known as John No-brainer.
His leadership was drifting away,
At least that’s what the pundits say.
With a government shutdown
Blame going all aroun’
He was a train wreck every step of the way.
When the going got rough for the Speaker
He tried to get tough but grew weaker
Down with what’s fair
To the budget he’d pare
His conscious was that of a tweaker.
Soon the public demanded his head
And his face became ever-more red
John wouldn't give in
He’d not committed enough sin
There was still some blood to be shed
He feared the loss of his gavel
Especially as things would unravel
Having hitched up with Cruz
Bedding with him he did choose
Now control in the House would travel.
A gun he did put to Barack’s head
Demanding his ego be fed
“Sacrifice your baby
And maybe, just maybe
I’ll bury you next to Senator Ted.”
So surrender to my ransom demand
Or you’ll never again see command
Now give in to me
Or I’m going to be
Late to my booth to get tanned.
Boehner went back to his House
Feeling defeated and much like a tit-mouse.
Wouldn't it be rich
If just like Gringrich
He became former Speaker and head louse?