Archive for right wing losers

"Tea Party: Only people who believe exactly what we believe deserve to be called real Americans"

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tea party all alone

Today’s guest post by the one, the only, Will Durst:

RINOs AND AINOs

Now we bore deep into the bunker that houses triumphant Tea Party headquarters where they are celebrating a tactical victory over the forces of complacency and complaining loudly about all the chicken-hearted Republicans In Name Only who bowed to the will of our Socialist President, and voted to reopen the government and avoid a global financial meltdown.

“Wussies. Those RINOs don’t represent real Americans. You know who they represent: AINOs. Americans In Name Only. Because only people who believe exactly what we believe deserve to be called real Americans. AINOs should be counted as 3/5ths of an American. We and only we are listening to the real heartbeat of this country. Nobody else has the same filter. Which is made out of tinfoil.

The media keeps asking, ‘how does it feel to lose?’ But we didn’t lose. We won. We won by losing. All part of the plan. Because only in losing do real winners hone their skills at winning whereas real losers just feel normal. Winners never quit. And quitters never win. And winning quitters are like quitting winners: just more banana slugs on the Great Salt Flat with a blown head gasket.

You know who lost? The so- called leaders of this party lost. The ones who flopped faster than a French Soccer Team that had been surgically deboned. Who abandoned the good fight in the name of expediency. Who slept with the enemy and will have their heads shaved and be thrown into the street someday. Because there is no negotiating when you’re dealing with the terrorists calling themselves the Democratic Party.

Oh, don’t get us wrong, we are all in favor of compromise. As long as it’s the other side doing it. We have no intention of compromising because that would be abandoning our principles. They don’t have principles so it’s shouldn’t be a problem.

Have we learned our lesson? Yes, we have. We have learned we must fight harder. And never give in. Because repeatedly banging our heads against the wall makes it feel so good when we stop. So we must learn not to stop.

We do not fight because we think we can win. We do not fight because of ideology. We fight because… we like to fight. As do our constituents. You should see our town hall meetings. They look like a trauma center emergency room on a Saturday night after a pool hall happy hour featuring $2 shots of Jagermeister.

Now? We’re going to purge this party of poseurs and run with folks interested in representing the real America. You know, people exactly like us. You may accuse us of perfecting the circular firing squad. But the circular firing squad turns out to be very useful in eliminating marginal colleagues equipped with insufficient aim.

And yes, ‘this is going to happen again!’ It’s going to happen every single time purity comes face to face with evil. And the evil shall be primaried. And anybody who shakes hands with John Boehner or has been photographed hugging John McCain is fair game.

We have even perfected a test to determine whether you are conservative enough to be an actual Republican. We hold you under water for four minutes and if you don’t die, you are a RINO. Primitive and messy perhaps, but fits us to a Tea.”

Will Durst’s new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” in its final extension: through Dec 17 every Tuesday at the Marsh. San Francisco. themarsh.org
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Paging Olivia Pope! Michele Bachmann hires "fixer" to "clean up mess"

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scandal olivia pope kerry washington

Michele Bachmann's been in hot water lately. For example:

It is now getting so jittery in Michele World that she has summoned her very own quasi-Olivia Pope, because her crises certainly need management.

Via Roll Call:

Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., has brought in a new treasurer for her congressional campaign and leadership political action committee in the wake of a federal grand jury probe, a potential House Ethics investigation and a possible inquiry from the Federal Election Commission.

Nancy Watkins, a well-known campaign finance treasurer in GOP circles, submitted paperwork a few weeks ago naming her the new treasurer of both campaign accounts for the Minnesota Republican. Watkins is still the treasurer for Bachmann’s failed 2011 presidential bid, and despite allegations of impropriety surrounding that campaign, Watkins’ stewardship of that account has not been questioned.

She is a fixer, in terms of coming in and cleaning-up the mess that other people left behind,” said Brett Kappel, a campaign finance lawyer at Arent Fox.

Yes indeedy, Bachmann's in legal trouble. That sound you hear is Rep. Family Values' hypocrisy hitting the fan.

An Office of Congressional Ethics report released Wednesday said there was “substantial reason” to believe that Bachmann authorized or failed to prevent illegal contributions between her campaign committees, and that she improperly mixed promotion of her book, “Core of Conviction,” with her presidential campaign activities.

As Rachel Maddow says, "Watch this space."

bachmann bye bye

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VIDEO: Bobby Jindal and disrespect for transgender people all in one Sunday. Somebody talk me down.

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talk-me-down

It's time for Blood Pressure Crisis Sunday! Today's blood pressure crisis was brought on by a Meet the Press (surprise!) segment with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and a subsequent and unrelated MSNBC interview with a member of the military.

Frankly, I can't bring myself to re-watch the Jindal interview, so I'll post it without the usual transcript excerpts. If you can make it through the entire thing, you'll see why I was so exasperated:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

In short, Jindal did nothing but lie and exhibit his usual hypocrisy. He was asked a direct question about the state of the Republican party, but he refused to respond, instead going off on his usual "privatize and de-unionize" education speechifying, couching his argument in gauzier terms that the non-political junkie might misinterpret in his favor. His idea of the American Dream is a countrywide enforcement of the bigotry and corporate goals of the GOP-- or as he called it "the stupid party."

He also blamed President Obama for wanting to shut down the government. Seriously.

And said we have a deficit problem. Seriously.

chart maddow budget deficit 2013 shrinkingMemo to GOP: Federal deficit shrinking at surprising rate, long-term debt stabilized for next decade 

And in a Politico op-ed today, Jindal blamed racial inequality on minorities being too proud of their heritages

Did I mention that phony, self-serving, privatization-happy, voucher-school-loving creationist Bobby Jindal now most unpopular GOP governor in U.S.? Great choice of spokesperson, GOP. Way to go.

Following Meet the Press was Weekends with Alex Witt sans Alex Witt (I can't find the video). The host interviewed a member of the military (apologies for not catching his name, rank, and serial number, but I was listening from another room and popped in only long enough to scream at the Tee Vee Machine). They were discussing Chelsea Manning (formerly Bradley Manning) who was just sentenced to 35 years in prison and announced his intention to transition from male to female.

Putting aside the arguments over whether the military prison in Fort Leavenworth should accommodate her for now, I was struck by the blatant insensitivity and apparent bigotry of the guest. His attitude screamed, "Manning casually decided to be a girl on a whim, tough luck freak, now enjoy your time in the slammer."

No, "sir," actually Manning has long struggled with gender identity, identifies as female, and has "felt that way since childhood."

How about respecting that instead of belittling and willfully making false assumptions, "sir"? Even if he broke the law, he's still a human being. How about educating yourself instead of perpetuating ignorance and misinformation, "sir"?

The increasingly deteriorating discourse and dearth of challenges to what passes for informed commentary fed to viewing and listening audiences are not only infuriating, they're scary... and they are harmful to democracy.

blood pressure

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Can Michele pray this away? FEC fines Bachmann $8,000 for 2010 campaign finance violations

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bachmann money

bachmann owed money 2

Paddy celebrated this way: NOOOO!!! Minn. Rep. Michele Bachmann says she won’t run for re-election in 2014. And by "celebrated" I mean mourned the loss of one of the easiest comedic targets in political history.

No worries, Paddy, because we can keep pointing and laughing for awhile longer. Check out this Roll Call report:

Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (R-Minn.) campaign committee has signed a conciliation agreement with the Federal Election Commission calling for a $8,000 civil penalty for campaign finance violations in her 2010 Congressional campaign.

Her campaign failed to disclose $208,502 in receipts and $206,499 in disbursements.

Memory Lane:

You can see the entire agreement here.

Bachmann owed money 1

busted 5

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Photo- Todd Akin's "Legitimate Rape" Quote Has Inspired a Pinball Game In France

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akinpinball

And the crazy lives on in pinball form.

Todd Akin may someday hope to make a comeback, but in the meantime, his infamous "legitimate rape" remark is the gift that keeps on giving. That is, the failed Senate candidate from Missouri continues to inspire some legitimate art. First, we had the Akin-themed Law & Order SVU episode. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the Todd Akin pinball game.

The Missouri congressman's campaign-destroying gaffe has inspired a French artist -- like, actually based in France! -- to create a pinball game that illustrates the "female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down" part of Akin's quote last summer.

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Politico: "2014 could be the gravest threat to [Michele Bachmann's] political career yet." Dems are "positively giddy."

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bachmann bye bye

Let's get comfy, curl up together, and scroll through a few of TPC's previous posts about Michele Bachmann, mmkay?

Okay, that'll do for now. I'd hate for you to O.D. on someone this toxic. Not good for the digestive tract.

Now let's stretch our legs, deep breathe, have a swig of our favorite beverage, and curl up again for Politico's latest:

Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann may be the congresswoman with nine lives. But 2014 could be the gravest threat to her political career yet.

The bomb-throwing conservative and onetime Republican presidential candidate is girding for what promises to be a ferocious reelection contest. Awaiting Bachmann is a serious Democratic opponent who has the full backing of his national party and a suburban Twin Cities electorate that six months ago nearly tossed her out of office.

The most glaring problem for Bachmann, though, may be a swirl of investigations into her campaign finances.

Bachmann will be going up against Democrat Jim Graves again, and he already has a narrow lead in the polls.

Democrats have tried to knock off Bachmann before — each time she’s run for reelection, in fact. But they’re positively giddy over the campaign finance investigations, saying they give hope that 2014 will finally be the year she goes down.

The reason she even stands a chance of winning again, and why she has in the past, is that the 6th District is the most conservative in the state. "If conservative anger at Obama boils over, as it did in 2010, Bachmann... will be in a position to exploit it," Politico reports.

When has conservative anger not boiled over at Obama? It's finally time for Bachmann to go.

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Cartoons of the Day- Benghazi Hearing

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BENGHAZI

Deb Milbrath

benhear1

Chuck Asey

benhear2

Daryl Cagle

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