Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with POTUS and Hillary Clinton's Close Encounter of the Weird Kind. Take it away, Will:
The meeting probably wasn’t as awkward as Cain attending Abel’s funeral. Closer to Anna Nicole walking past her husband’s family in court. Surely had a Billy Bob Thornton/ Brad Pitt- drunk at a wedding reception feel.
Talking about the recent encounter between President Barack Obama and the woman rummaging through his closet, trying on his Chief Executive mom jeans, and not getting a lot of encouragement in return; Queen of the formers… Watergate lawyer, First Lady, Senator, Secretary Hillary Clinton.
The two of them ran into each other at a lawn party at a golf club on Martha’s Vineyard the other evening. And what could be more proletariat that that? Lawn party. Golf club. Martha’s Vineyard. Think we’ve triangulated the 1% Trifecta here. All you need is imported truffle canapés, some commemorative swizzle sticks and pastel sweaters tied loosely around necks and voila… a royal raspberry reduction.
The source of the ungainliness was Ms. Clinton herself, who, in an interview with The Atlantic, characterized our Syrian policy as a disaster. Then said “’Don’t do stupid stuff’ is not an organizing principle.” Obviously referring to some past politician whose name is synonymous with shrub but also throwing the current President’s equivocal quote under the same wheels of that big bad bus.
She ain’t alone. Most of America thinks Obama’s foreign policy is like Malaysian Air frequent flyer miles. Sure, they both exist on paper, but nobody’s really all that interested in implementation. Anticipating the contretemps, her spokesperson said Hillary looked forward to “hugging it out” when she and POTUS met. Yeah. Bet she did. Like an emergency tracheotomy with a Bic pen.
Can’t you picture that embrace. Fade in: First Family seated. Hillbilly walking. Visual contact. Slight stutter step. Bill grins, shouts and waves. Hillary, Michelle and Barack summon courage from unfathomable depths to plaster on phony smiles. Everybody’s interior dialogue channeling Hamlet: “To hug or not to hug.”
Barack rises and in a stab at humor, throws his arms about an inch apart as if welcoming a cuddle. She laughs so coldly ice cubes crack, and bending at the waist touches her right shoulder to his right shoulder as they pat each other on the back. Once. The Presbyterian hug. As graceful as tumbling dumpsters. Fade out on the sound of more ice cracking.
As the past and the future of the Democratic Party, Barack and Hillary are eternally entwined. It’s like one of those relationships you see in Manhattan and San Francisco these days. Where neither person can afford to move out because both incomes are necessary to cover the rent. Velvet handcuffs.
The problem is, they’re the same person. Opposite spectrums: black- white- male- female. But the same ultimate political animal. Concussions are common when the smartest person in the room is forced to interact with the other smartest person in the room. Both dimly aware that throwing Bill & Michelle into the equation means one of them may actually be the 4th smartest person in the room.
She needs him to seamlessly insert her into his frictionless fundraising machine and he needs her to guarantee his legacy is not wiped out in a torrential Tea Party tsunami. The grudging mutual respect of the cobra and the mongoose. Strange Bedfellows indeed. Who needs a hug? Craaaaack.
Copyright © 2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about the new documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including his new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” which will appear at the Raven Theater in Windsor California Aug 22- 24. raventheater.org
Who but Bill O'Reilly in character would expound for an ear-bleeding amount of Unfiltered Hate and its superbly derisive condescension?
O'Reilly … one of the most distasteful of the bitter dregs Fvx Nation busily crafts , it is a vergl cottage industry … I'ms sure the GOP ostentatious manner. It's rather certain about to employ him at Walmart or something that would keep you on a more mellow frequency.
I fancy the suspect he does that smug 'Word of the Day' bit less for conservative sheeple and more of an Idjuts Hubris.
Apologies for the FVX, but O'Reilly also brayed at length about his "Moral Instructions For Black People", from Media Matters:
Bill O'Reilly's proclivity for using tragedies and racial disparities to lecture the black community was on full display in the wake of the shooting death of an unarmed black teenager at the hands of police in Ferguson, Missouri.
The St. Louis suburb has erupted in demonstrations following the death of Michael Brown, a black, unarmed teenager allegedly gunned down by police while he tried to run away. The unrest has prompted Brown's parents and civil rights leaders to call for peaceful protests and justice over the wrongful death.
On the August 12 edition of The O'Reilly Factor, O'Reilly attributed Brown's father's calls for justice to "talking through an emotional prism," adding that "many, many African Americans believe" that Brown was murdered "without knowing the facts." He wondered if the black community deserves criticism for viewing Brown's death as an injustice.
Now they could do Monster Mash at The Factor … Billo and the inevitable Posse might be considering O'Reilly in the West Wing, after deciding to belly up to the bar like real men and throw back a cocktail or five -- then hurl his hat in the ring of presidential material …
Ferguson --- that name will be with us for some time. Will post reactions and updates following the show.
Today, Nixon's presser needed a Come to Jesus moment … think it got lost in digital transit.
The Governor of Missouri, Jay Nixon (relation of The Wichard?) scheduled a presser for 4 p.m. EST.
Governor Nixon is announcing a new Ferguson curfew -- 12 midnight to 0500 hours. As well as declaring it a state of emergency - more tanks and automatic long guns, the no-ethics gun fondlers ought to be nervous.
The aforementioned militarization of Missouri is more than mildly scarifyinwent over like a lead hot-air balloon. Things got a bit ugly before the wise, firm but compassionate Captain Ben Johnson.
Here's some background, from CNN.
Less than a year and a half ago, I got a call from my best friend, who had heard first and wanted my husband and I to hear it from her. Our dear, brilliant, poem-filled rock star of a Best Man (of 12 years ago). Padraic was so close to Dave (hubs) … his girl-friend (a good friend as well) found him hanging in his apartment.
Actual Shocked doesn't cover it, still.
So many American families have the resilience to care for their un-well … and they will be offering the humblest gift of respecting our elders. Now.
I don't know why, but most of my dearest friends suffer with that bitchy, stubborn and under-researched condition (or a cousin of It), called Bipolar Disease. They are often generous, caring remarkable people, I have found. And bright as hell.
They know Shite!! A thimbleful of good Scotch led my Gram into many a learning moment in there for free … that can be a part of the attitude and some very deep acts of desperation.
A morsel of stand-up from Williams …
Maybe, just maybe, Bipolar research and testing will get a bump -- because Robin Williams was killed by it this time. Read Laffy's outstanding posts, here, about his loss and her raw reactions.
Richard Dreyfuss, is also a victim célebre of brain health issues.
Dreyfuss first spoke publically about his bipolar disorder during the 2006 documentary, “The Secret Life of Manic Depressive.”
Since then he has been open and has freely discussed his struggles in the hope of alleviating some of the stigma associated with mental illness. He told People magazine:
“There is no shame in having depression. It never should be something to hide.”
Dreyfuss realized that he was suffering from this mental illness around the age of 14, when he felt range of emotions was not the same as everyone else’s.
So of course the Teabbing Folks sang #AndISaidNoNoooNoooooooo as they read the obscure G.D. facts - and the gamut … Including The Limpbaugh and LaPalin [didn't there used to be a species of the Good Conservative].
Glenn Beck is full of (disgusting) plans for this great, patriotic, white, exceptional nation, and this time he's glommed onto Walt Disney. And adopted a propensity for the taste of 'Christian blood'.
I told you it was stamped and verified WTFBBQ.
Maybe he's all afternoon delight about the foul aroma of odeur of impeachment in the air, is Beck. He's clearly heading towards Shock Jock Black Belt qualification.
Catch this bit of inanity from Fvx Noise.
Glenn Beck appeared on CNN’s Reliable Sources for the second week in a row (why) and told host Brian Stelter that he was modeling himself less after Edward R. Murrow and more after Walt Disney. He specified that this did not mean Beckland theme parks, but did mean … whatever this next bit says:
“Disney was an innovator on everything. We went to space because of Walt Disney. You know, Walt Disney brought his animator that did the Seven Dwarfs and said ‘I’ve got this Nazi scientist that I need you to meet, Wernher Von Braun.’ The year is 1954 or ’55. He said, ‘He thinks we can put a man in space. I want you to tell that story.’
“In 1955 just before he opens the park he starts his TV show, Disneyland, he has a special called ‘Man in Space.’ The story goes that Eisenhower called him up and said, ‘Walt, you son of a bitch, you did it. I’ve been trying to convince the people at the Pentagon. I don’t need that. You just convinced the American people.’ A world without Walt Disney, America without Walt Disney, not just the parks, is a very different place. He affected our culture in a positive way.”
Watch the clips below.
Course, now it's not even been a week since Glenn Beck put a bib on and mowed through a short stack of pancakes … drizzled not with Aunt Jemina or Vermont's Maple Syrup … but with 'Christian blood'. After, Eeeeeew, check out the Beck asshattery of the month.
Dude been sneaking True Blood binge-watching in?? Very similar to last season's finale, just sayin'. Tom Cruz may have got the gig, but Beck can dream.
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