Archive for Poland

The Devil's In The Dial Tones


Priest Claims Hate Texts Are From Demon SpiritFather Marian Rajchel

Exorcism. It's a pretty drastic move -- so much so that not too many priests will even attempt to engage in the procedure. But sometimes its a final resort an ambitious Father will endeavor to drive out the evil spirit, risking life, limb and perhaps evil text messages as you'll see reading on. Father Marian Rajchel from Jaroslaw in south-eastern Poland was up for the challenge. This Polish priest recently carried out an exorcism on a teenage girl and now he claims he is being contacted by Satan. I guess if you drive out an evil spirit you can understand him contacting you to express his displeasure -- but in this case it's via text message. Gotta hand it to the Devil. He's keeping up with modern technology. Yup. Beelzebub has got this priest's number -- or actually the cell number of his human teenage host -- the girl who the devil resides in. I say resides because evidently the exorcism purification failed. Sometimes that happens. Not all priests are able to pull off such a  house host cleaning. Since the failed effort on Father Rajchel's part, he says he's started receiving the hate messages. When you fail to drive the devil out of a victim's soul, what're you to expect, right? As reported in MailOnline: devil on cell phone

Now he believes that the demon is using the possessed teenager to attack him through a mobile phone.

'The author of these texts is an evil spirit who has possessed her soul', he said.

'Often the owners of mobile phones are not even aware that they are being used like this. However, in this case it is clear.'

Before going on, as a public service, I'm going to suggest you keep your cell phones locked when not in use. You never know when the Devil may have something to say to you. You'll recognize his number if you have caller ID. His area code is 666.

Okay, so to continue, Father R. didn't ignore the texts the Devil had sent him via the possessed child.

Father Rajchel claims that the devil and his followers were not shy about using modern technology but that in many cases their actions were not identified as being the work of evil.

One of the text messages, the Austrian Times reported, read: 'She will not come out of this hell. She’s mine. Anyone who prays for her will die.'

He replied, and was then sent another message in return: 'Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher.'

He said: 'Clearly this young girl has been possessed, and needs further help.'

The girl needs further help? You think? Did it ever occur to you that you were just being punked? Look around and see if Ashton Kutcher isn't hiding out somewhere in the pews with a cell phone and a camera crew.

One thing though, if this is for real. If you're going to get into a text message battle, I wouldn't take on the Devil. Who knows the added surcharges he might put on this kind of back and forth. After all, this girl's phone service might might be provided by Verizon and I've dealt with them before. Believe me, it was hell.


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Advertising icons

I love catching a fun ad on TV. Some of them are so creative that they actually sail over my head in their... cleverness. There's insurance company ads where fathers use hoses to bath their big as a house babies. There's an especially mind boggling commercial for a video game which features a post apocalyptic Las Vegas, burned out and smoking, with Sinatra singing in the background, and a lone car filled with survivors, armed to the gills, driving through the debris. I think if you're old enough to get the Sinatra/Vegas connection, you're way beyond playing Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto, but hey, what do I know. I'm not Don Draper.

None-the-less, millions are spent in advertising dollars to get our attention, and then once they have that, selling us an item is secondary. It no longer seems that the commercial be pertinent to the product. Just grab our attention. A talking Gecko or a dancing hot dog or a red-headed clown will do, if it's cute enough. But when those gimmicks fail, there's always SEX.

Yes, the bottom line is that sex sells -- anything.

Here's an example. You've just lost grandma to old age. You can't keep her in the garage, so you elect, like most folks, to bury her. If you're handy, like those people on HG TV's Celebrity Home Coffin Makers, you can build your own pine box. But if you're not, you may need to purchase one.

What do you look for when buying something to last an eternity? The coffin industry thinks sex:

coffin ad 1

Perhaps that's a bit too subtle but not for the Polish coffin makers. Well, here's more from Cracked:

The owner of Lindner Coffins has fended off accusations of tastelessness by claiming that he wanted to "show the beauty of Polish girls and the beauty of our coffins," and insisting that a coffin is "furniture, the last bed you'll ever sleep in." According to the calendar's (not safe for work) promo page, the 2014 theme is "nature, which we express with perfect harmony between Lindner coffins and natural wood."

coffin ad 2

And speaking of "natural wood" how about this Thai commercial for fertilizer. I dare you to watch this commercial and not get the "hidden meaning," or get a rise out of it. Subtle it ain't. But hysterical it is.

Move over, Mad Men:


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