Archive for Phil Robertson

Lauren Mayer: "The Iran Nuclear Deal Rag''

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Lauren Mayer is a singer/songwriter/pianist who writes comedy songs about everything from Supreme Court decisions to the Kardashians. She proudly supports leftist causes including equal pay, reproductive choice, fair minimum wage, addressing climate change, and marriage equality.
Note: Check out Lauren's CDs, including her latest, "If My Uterus Were A Gun (And Other Musical Rants From The News)" - available at "http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/laurenmayer8" as well as on iTunes and Amazon. Her website is laurenmayer.com. She's on Twitter at @laurenscomedy
Lauren's podcasts are on IndieMediaWeekly.
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Don't Miss Lauren and Scott's Upcoming Cabaret Show This Weekend!: "Coast To Coast with Scott Grinthal & Lauren Mayer"
Sept. 11 & 12, Society Cabaret, San Francisco
And be sure to listen to her podcast: "Musical Mayhem w/Lauren Mayer"
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From YouTube:

All you need to know about this complicated issue summed up in 2 minutes (and a look at who opposes the deal)

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Horny-Duck Dynasty Klan Robertson: 'Vote the UnGodly Out of D.C.'

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Image courtesy our pal Wes Smith @wessmith123

Image courtesy our pal Wes Smith @wessmith123

Quack.

We liberals just can't get enough of Phil Robertson, who took making mallards horny To The Bank, and surely must be campaigning for a family member early.

Robertson, the clan patriarch, has got a bee in his camo bonnet about The Great Ungodly aka The Overly-Washed and Largely Beardless Masses that his swamp mates are sending upriver to the Capitol. And he has enlisted his city nephew to take care of the sinners.

Oh, Phil. You were barely done bashing gays and you're already on to the rest of the Ungodly in June? There's a pill for that prematurity issue, you know. CBS News Atlanta had the sorry tale,  video above and excerpted quotes below.

“I’m actually a nice man,” Robertson told the crowd. “I’m trying to help those poor souls and turn them to Jesus.

Here's where this all moves from Phil Robertson redneck Regressive theory to alarming possible practice. Remember the boy that made it from Duck Dynasty to the State of the Union Address in January?

Cartoon by Bagley, The Salt Lake Tribune

Cartoon by Bagley, The Salt Lake Tribune

The night and day contrast with the Wounded Warrior also in the gallery? Sporting his formal bandana/dew rag, the stars and stripes model? Yes, that one. Well, he's got a cousin who's fixing to run for Congress. And his Uncle Phil is already stumping.

Whatever you do, go register to vote, especially on this next presidential election. Register to vote and you ought to register for the House and the Senate, too. Get your tail down there and vote this ungodly bunch out of Washington, D.C.,” Robertson told the crowd while getting a raucous ovation.

So … meet Zach Dasher, a 36-year-old Louisiana Republican who has never run for office but can claim to be Phil Robertson and Uncle Si's nephew - he should be all in with the Tea People by now … and the seat he has a glad-eye on just happened to be vacated because (as we reported) GOPper Vance McAllister was caught with his tongue down a staffer's throat earlier this year.

please tread on me

Duck Dynasty Cousin, Dasher, lost no time in jumping aboard … his goal? Cleaning up that foul swamp in Washington. Starting with the unholy, 'librul, ungodly sinners currently clogging up the works in D.C.

I got to looking around at the problems in politics today, and what I see in Washington, D.C., is no God. There is no God. The elite political class thinks they can be running our lives,” he said in an interview with The Associated Press. “I think there’s a vacuum in D.C. of people who understand where rights come from. Rights don’t come from men. They come from God.

If he starts saying that God speaks to him personally (like W, Half-Guv'nah Sarah Palin and Romney clearly believed) start looking at the GOP establishment candidate in the race against Duck Dynasty Dasher.

He might need a few Dem swing votes.

Cartoon, Bill Day

Cartoon, Bill Day, at Cagle

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'Blame It On the Gays' is Nouveaux Again in Bitter anti-Obamanation

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Written by guest contributor, "hardybear" of the wonderful Free Range Talk site:
As state by state battles change hearts and minds on same-sex marriage, the seething Regressive backlash is impressive. Even for the post-Lipton Brigadier Era of political calamity. The GOP has proved they can still equitably step on women, minorities and The Gays while continuing to $crew the 99%. They have evil scourges lined up until Rapture and beyond.

This weekend you could have been enjoying a video-taped For Eternity Easter Rant from Pastor of Gay-Hate Phil Robertson, patronizing patriarch of Horny Duck Hooting and A&E infamy, or amazed by a Fox news 'expert' convinced that the tragic California killing spree can be tracked back to those demon, elusive latent homosexual 'tendencies'.

Politics is truly #fubar and fading to Out of Order as fast as Joe Scarborough's hopes for a move back to the Beltway to bray.

The Brits enjoy it so much when Fvx loses its slim excuse for a mind that it is somehow more fun to excoriate them through a pithy UK lens. From The Independent.If you find yourself shuddering in cultural embarrassment - relax. You're a liberal.

"When I was first listening to him, I was like, ‘Oh, he’s angry with women for rejecting him’,” Dr Ludwig said.

“And then I started to have a different idea: Is this somebody who is trying to fight against his homosexual impulses? Was he angry with women because they were taking men away from him?”

Fvx clearly dug up a psychologist capable of shrinking the problem to their audience's mentality. #OfCourseTheyDid

Dr Ludwig continued: “Was he angry at the men for not choosing him? This is a kid who was just angry in general and probably felt rejected. He couldn’t connect. He could not feel loved. He couldn’t feel successful. Maybe he didn’t feel like a real man?”

Insert expletives here, and don't be shy. So that's what a REAL man does?

We still have Pastor Phil, self-professed Vagina fan and serial buzzkill for all things gay in Louisiana to update the Ick on. He took to the Easter pulpit to hammer away at ho-mo-sexuals. All right DD Quacker, now you've pissed off a N.E. liberal who ducks Easter but retains the right to say YOU know phuque-all - nothing - about precisely phuque-all.

So … imagine Robertson being analyzed by Dr. Ludwig, estimable expert. They could re-assign Katrina blame from Brownie back to Mardi Gras queens and 9-11 once agin' in the laps of those New York rich and uppity fag***s and urban power femi-nazi lesbians.

Reverend Huckabee could play them out as they tried to pray away The Gay.

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VIDEO: Gay Republican equates Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson to Pres. Obama, Hillary Clinton

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Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

This is what Duck Dynasty "patriarch" Phil Robertson had to say about black and gay Americans in his GQ interview:

I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field.... They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.” [...]

What, in your mind, is sinful?

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right. [...]

“We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

This is what Log Cabin Republican Gregory Angelo said to Craig Melvin on MSNBC this very morning:

[Mike Huckabee, who may run for president in 2016] was pointing out that just a couple -- about a year ago, Barack Obama was not yet a supporter of marriage equality. Just a couple of months ago Hillary Clinton announced her support of marriage equality. So on the one hand to have democrats celebrate someone as late as Hillary Clinton but to admonish someone like Phil Robertson who's not there yet shows there's a double standard at play and that's all we're pointing out.

Oh, so that's all you're "pointing out." Got it. Your oh-so-noble intention was to remind us that Robertson simply isn't "there yet," see, so he's obviously evolving, see, just like President Obama and Hillary Clinton did! It's all so clear now! All those slurs were just his endearing backwoods way of learning to eventually embrace and love thy gay neighbor, just exactly the way the president and former Senator Clinton came around to supporting marriage equality.

Ha! He sure showed those lefty Marxist Kenyan libs and their "double standard at play"!

Mr. Angelo also apparently forgot to "point out" that neither "Barack Obama" (by the way, show the chief executive a little respect and call him "President Obama," okay?) nor Hillary Clinton ever equated being gay with "bestiality, sleeping around, male prostitutes, offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers, drunks, and terrorists."

Details, schmetails. So much for that right wing talking point, genius.

Those things must have slipped what passes for his mind.

Nor did the president or former Secretary of State ever paint slaves as contented, happy-go-lucky black smiley faces who were just hunky dory with their "doggone" abusive masters. (Psst! Phil! You might want to go back and read the lyrics to those joyous little ditties you claim they were so merrily warbling.)

And finally, after watching the above video, a few of you may have noticed that Craig Melvin never challenged Angelo on any of those points.

really bad analogies

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