Reince Priebus, or as Garry Trudeau likes to call him, “Prieb-Dawg,” doesn’t seem to realize why his party lost in November. Did he not read his own autopsy report?

(CNN) – “Let me make crystal clear something I’ve said since January,” RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said in a speech before the vote on the resolutions. “While we have to do things differently, there’s one thing that can’t and won’t change: our principles. … [A]s long as I’m Chairman, we’ll stay true to them. Some would have us turn into Democrats-lite, but I refuse.”

Attaboy, Reince! Status quo! Status quo!

Time to haul out the ol’ images again:

Wait. It gets funnier:

“For the GOP to appeal to younger voters, we do not have to agree on every issue, but we do need to make sure young people do not see the Party as totally intolerant of alternative points of view,” the five members of the task force wrote in the report titled the Growth and Opportunity Project.

No, they wouldn’t want youth voters to see the Party as “totally” intolerant… just partially intolerant. Check.

They may want to look up the definitions of “growth” and “opportunity” while they’re at it.

“Already, there is a generational difference within the conservative movement about issues involving the treatment and the rights of gays … If our Party is not welcoming and inclusive, young people and increasingly other voters will continue to tune us out.”

Why, whoever would want to tune out a party that tunes out so many whoevers?

Here’s the punch line: The Republican National Committee approved two resolutions today re-affirming the party’s position on marriage. It’s apparently very important for them to make sure we all know that, to them, marriage is still a “union of one man and one woman,” dammit. Not two men and one woman, or two women and one man, or three men and three men, or one woman and one woman, or… Well, you get the idea….

… all while they’re being “welcoming and inclusive.” Check. 

They probably missed this headline: Poll: Latinos move in favor of gay marriage.

And this one: Poll: Women outpace men in support for stricter gun laws, immigration reform.

Oops.

Speaking of women, here’s where Paul Ryan comes in. He spoke at the Susan B. Anthony (SBA) List gala.

Via The Hill:

“Our critics say we should abandon our pro-life beliefs. But that would only demoralize our voters,” Ryan said. “It’s an odd strategy, I think: the cynical ploy followed by the thumping defeat.”

Ryan opposes abortion rights, except when the woman’s life is in danger.

“Except when the woman’s life is in danger” must have come after he cosponsored another fetal personhood bill. Which was after he and his former BFF Todd Akin co-sponsored their own personhood bill. But remember, there’s no War on Women.

Ryan added, “Our task isn’t to purge our ranks. It’s to grow them.”

Isn’t hypocrisy entertaining?

You can stop laughing now. On second thought, don’t.