Archive for pat robertson

“A Week of Upchucks: Keep on recruiting for bad guys while you root to undermine education, science, equal rights”

gop fail 3Please welcome back guest blogger K.C. Boyd. You might remember her from her earlier posts:

A Week of Upchucks

By K. C. Boyd

 “Pro-Life” Upchucking

  • Add Ohio’s to the ever-growing list of states whose House voted to defund Planned Parenthood.
  • Senator Brownback signed House Bill 2253 this week. Scribbled at the top of his marked up copy of this “Pro-Life Protections Act,” were the words Jesus & Mary, with “Pro-Life” further down in the margins. Good to confirm in writing that legislators really do govern by Sharia the Bible. After North Dakota, the Kansas bill is second to define life as beginning at conception.

Beyond Upchuck: Second child of faith-healing couple dies after no medical care

  • With the death of an 8-month old baby resulting from Fundamentalist Christians putting faith over science, this is well beyond your average upchuck. When you become a parent, you are responsible for your children’s health and welfare, and that includes after the child is born. If a mother or father chooses God over medicine for themselves, that’s their choice, and their problem. But to sit by and pray while their 8-month baby struggles for days with severe diarrhea and breathing problems, such negligence is criminal (even more so, this being their second child to have died from prayerful neglect.)
  • Meanwhile, out in Oklahoma, self-proclaimed pro-lifers, more accurately described as pro-negligence once the baby is born, have decided that public education’ isn’t all that important or necessary. In line with the ‘drown-it-in-the-bathtub’ meme, Kansas’ governor and legislators have enacted public school cuts that are among nation’s highest and which, over time, may well destroy public education, as we know it. At the same time, the goodly legislators are looking for ways to cut taxes (for the rich.)

Schaudenfreude Upchuck

  • Things aren’t looking too promising for a successful GOP’ wooing of the LGBT community. Despite the spoken desire by one wing of the party to at least appear more gay-friendly, the RNC couldn’t help caving to the Rebiblicans’ that make up its base. At the RNC April meeting in Los Angeles, The GOP confirmed that they cannot and will not change their platform when it comes to gay marriage. Why schaudenfreude, you ask? Quite frankly because this upchucker loves nothing more than to see than the GOP engage in all manner of self-sabotage.

Dino Upchuck

  • Ken Ham is smiling these days thanks to a deal his Answers in Genesis’ ad agency made to screen an animated Creation Museum commercial during previews at each of the 458 theaters showing the newly released Jurassic Park 3-D movie. Not only that but these theaters will also continuously loop said commercial in their lobbies, exposing evermore young people to the Big Lie.

And finally, heading over to the land of whack job Upchucks

  • Ann Coulter exercised her right to persecute Muslims on Fox (cough) News when she stated that the Boston bombing suspect’s wife should be in prison for wearing a hijab. Talk about denying a woman’s rights – - someone needs to sew her mouth permanently shut.
  • Pat Robertson, never one to disappoint averred that “Islam is to blame for not only the Boston Marathon bombing, but terrorism around the world.” Comparing ‘Evil’ Islam To Nazism, Robertson is sure to have ruffled the feathers of many a future would-be terrorist.
  • Lastly there’s the Beckster’s continued accusations of a dreamt–up government cover-up with regards to the Marathon bombing. Informed by what can only be a super-duper top-secret source, Beck accuses the Dems of hiding “damning evidence” that a Saudi National was involved in the Boston bombing. Of course we know he’s a nutcase but something that most folks aren’t aware of is that Homeland Security Chairman Michael T. McCaul, Jeff Duncan, Chairman of the Subcommittee on Oversight and Management Efficiency, Chairman of the Subcommittee on Counterterrorism and Intelligence, Peter King and Chairman of the Subcommittee on Border and Maritime Security, Candice Miller wrote to Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano requesting an immediate classified debriefing on the Saudi whose identity is said to be hidden and who the government instantly spirited out of the country/ This can’t help but make one remember when Bush and Co. really did whisk the Bin Laden family out of the country just after 9/11, well before private or commercial planes were permitted back in the air.

I say, keep it up guys. Keep on recruiting for the bad guys while you root to undermine education, science and equal rights.

We’ll see you in 2014.

Novelist K.C. Boyd is the author of Being Christian: A Novel. According to Mikey Weinstein, President of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, “Boyd created a story so riveting that not only could I not put it down, but upon finishing it, I found myself, like an addict, craving more.

Exorcise Those Yard Sale Clothing Demons! Says Pat Robertson

 

(A cross-post from our friend Anomaly100 at FreakOutNation.) Thanks, Anomaly!

Pat Robertson warns that our clothes could have demons attached to them, better to pray over them.

On the 700 Club, televangelist Pat Robertson cautioned his audience, saying that demons can attach themselves to material goods and therefore it’s not a bad idea to rebuke them before bringing them into your home. Yes, don’t we all have a picture of ourselves wearing ‘that’ sweater.

Watch:

A viewer asked Robertson whether she should follow her mother’s recommendation to pray away demonic spirits over her secondhand sweaters.

Right Wing Watch reports, “Robertson recounted a story about “a witch who had prayed over a particular ring and asked for a spirit to come into it, and this Philippine girl was so attached to this ring, she had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was. Can demonic spirits attach themselves to inanimate objects, the answer is yes,” Robertson said.

Robertson added that people don’t have to concern themselves over whether every item they purchase is possessed by demons, but he added: “Hey, it ain’t going to hurt anything to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes.”

H/T @ComgenKDT (who I know has demons attached to his sweater)

VIDEO: Pat Robertson thinks I “want you to be miserable.”

This from Pat Robertson, the man who censored the words “toilet paper” in one of the hundreds of squeaky clean jokes I wrote for a space alien character for his squeaky clean Family Channel:

“It’s, well, Christmas all over again. The Grinch is trying to steal our holiday. It’s been so beautiful, the nation comes together, we sing Christmas carols, we give gifts to each other, we have lighted trees, and it’s just a beautiful thing. Atheists don’t like our happiness, they don’t want you to be happy, they want you to be miserable. They’re miserable, so they want you to be miserable. So they want to steal your holiday away from you.”

Funny thing about that, Pat. I’m an atheist who loves to celebrate the holidays any number of ways, including Christmas trees, pie, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at my nose, those yummy cookies covered in powdered sugar, plenty of wine, piping hot cider, matzo ball soup, and holiday love for all! Go figger.

Nor am I miserable in the least or wish misery on anyone else (well, maybe a select few who cause others harm). As for “stealing” anyone’s holiday, I’m not sure how that’s even possible. In fact, I’ve always shared holidays, having been brought up Jewish and somehow still enjoy diversely decorating our house with Chanukah dreidels, twinkly lights, fragrant firs and wreaths, snowmen, and Stars of David galore.

If anyone has had holidays “stolen” from them, it is those who fall into the growing category of America’s religious minorities, those who are discriminated against and/or hated for believing something different from the Christian majority, those who don’t believe at all (and currently have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever becoming a U.S. president), or those who would like to be permitted to have their own public religious displays instead of being excluded in favor of endless Nativity scenes, tree lightings, and Santas. Or people like President Obama who are told they are not Christian at all, but Muslim, as if that’s bad thing.

But this isn’t a war, and Christmas is alive and well and warm and lovely and sparkly. And a little too commercial, but hey…

Or maybe non-inclusive Pat the Grinch with all his “Christian values” was projecting. After all, his words don’t sound very joyous to the world or do-unto-othersy, do they?

Video- Pat Robertson: Demon Hunter

Oy. What do these guys have to say for someone to take them in and have them checked for dementia? Via.

Video- Pat Robertson: Non-Christians Are a “Virus”

Saw this yesterday but I forgot to put it up. Sounds to me like Uncle Pat’s been hanging out with Pat Buchanan lately. Via.

VIDEO: Pat Robertson Warns of “Atheist Dictatorship”

He says this like it’s a bad thing:

Every time I hear my former employer* speak, all I can think of is Jim Ward’s impression of him.

Here’s a comment from under the video at YouTube:

Hey, lets start an atheist paradise, a haven if you will & make sure it’s a gated community who’s sacred edicts are reinforced by capital punishment, banishment, flame ,or torture.

Wait a second…

EntinludeX

*I was hired by a production company at CBS to do some work for The Family Channel, writing hundreds of jokes for an alien character who visits, and is confused by, earth (these were to be used as bumpers for TFC). One of the things I thought would perplex him was a roll of unfurling toilet paper, so I submitted a joke to that effect.

It was rejected. Why? The words “toilet paper” were unacceptable to Pat Robertson.

VIDEO: Pat Robertson: Is Mac and Cheese a “Black Thing”?

This from the loon who, when I worked for him at  The Family Channel, censored a (very clean, not in the least offensive, rather adorable) joke for a ventriloquist’s dummy because it included the words “toilet paper”:

H/t Martha Plimpton: