Oh those Taliban rebels. They've really got their sh** together. They're not like our domestic terrorists, the Tea Party. In Pakistan, when they have a leadership position to fill, they don't waste time. When they lose a commander, they've got a better one to step right into his burqa. I hope our Taliban work as quickly in the Commonwealth to replace "the Cooch." We wouldn't want to see the south regions of Virginia to go too long without an extremist to look up to.
The former head of the Pakistani Taliban, Hakimullah Mehsud, was killed by a U.S. drone strike on Friday just as he was entering his compound in a village in North Waziristan. Even though Mehsud was responsible for the deaths of thousands of Pakistani civilians and security forces, his death outraged Pakistani officials, who accused the U.S. of sabotaging the government's attempt to strike a peace deal with the militants.
Don't be harsh with the Paki's mourning the loss of a mass murder. Lord knows thousands show up in support of our mass murders, people like Rick 'the executioner' Perry and Wayne 'I can put a gun in your hands' LaPierre. They've directly or indirectly killed many.
The new leader, Fazlullah [one name, like Cher or Elvis], has served as the Pakistani Taliban's leader in the northwest Swat Valley but is believed to be hiding in neighboring Afghanistan.
He rose to prominence through radio broadcasts demanding the imposition of a harsh brand of Islam, earning him the nickname "Mullah Radio."
A couple of things come to mind in these paragraphs. First, his gerrymandered district is called Swat Valley. How appropriate for a man who uses sniper fire to take down innocent farmers, women and children.
Secondly he's going to be a modern day leader. He's going to telecommute. He rapes and pillages in his native Pakistan while hiding in Afghanistan. Some guys have all the luck. They can destroy innocent lives without ever having to leave their man cave.
And finally, this guy is issuing his orders over the radio? So he's kind of a Disc Jockey of Death. When he plays the hits, he means the hits -- killings and assassinations. Oh, that Mullah Radio. I wonder if he does a Sunday countdown show like Kasey Kasem. Maybe if Mullah Radio does, he calls his show, "Shooting Down The Oldies."
Now the choice of Fazlullah might seem odd or unusual to you. He, like Ted Cruz rose from obscurity to reek harm and pain on women and children. For Rafael Cruz, it was his ascendancy to the Senate and his attack on Obamacare. For Fazlullah, the Pakistani Taliban soldier is the one who planned the attack on teenage activist Malala Yousafzai. Yes, Malala, that young 15 year old girl who was a finalist for this years Nobel Peace Prize. Her crime, as we all know that was worthy of ordering her shot. How dare she incite young girls to go to school and become educated. If that's not a justifiable capital offense, I can't imagine what is. Way to go Faz.
With those kind of bona fides, it's no wonder that:
The shura chose Fazlullah as the new leader unanimously, Torashipa said.
Some Mehsud commanders were unhappy with the decision but eventually agreed under pressure from some of the group's senior militants, said the intelligence official, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk to journalists.
Now if you need help with understanding what's between the lines above, the shura is the ruling committee and unanimously means at gunpoint. Now the commanders that were unhappy are no longer feeling that way. They're no longer feeling at all. They've been publicly stoned to death. This news also comes from the Taliban press official who isn't really authorized to talk to journalists.
Sadly he's not giving out much news anymore as Faz had his tongue ripped out for his previous news release. I'm sure details will be shared with all of us Sunday as Master Faz and his AK-47's spin "Shootin' Down The Oldies."