Archive for oops

Rick Perry's smug shot: It's all about exposure, exploitation, aka politics as usual

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Rick Perry booking photo mug shot

 Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with Texas Governor Rick Perry. Take it away, Will:

SMUG SHOTS

Knew he shouldn’t. Couldn’t help himself. Talking about the beaming leer in Rick Perry’s mug shot. Or to be more precise, his smug shot. In the photo released by the Austin Police Department, the Texas Governor grins like a Cheshire Cat who just cleaned out the canary department of a PetSmart and is presetting his Lexus’ GPS for another store.

Because he vetoed the budget of the Travis County Attorney General who refused to resign following a drunken driving conviction, Perry is now being indicted on two federal felony counts relating to abuse of power. Which for a politician is real similar to being accused of breathing through their mouths. No big deal. The loyal opposition is programmed to consider all power abusive. A fact extensively covered in the freshman orientation pamphlet.

The three reasons he’s smirking are obvious. One: there’s a better chance of being struck by lightning while holding Charlize Theron’s purse stuffed with winning Powerball tickets, than being convicted. Two: he can wear these charges as a loud red badge of partisan courage, rekindling presidential aspirations. As for the third thing… well, he’ll have to get back to you. Ooops.

This is all proof that today- any and or all publicity is good publicity. Andy Warhol’s future has arrived and taken over the conference room. Famous for 15 minutes. That’s the goal. You don’t have to be talented or accomplished or good looking or an artist or even credible. Just get your name and face out there. Get on television. Even basic cable. By hook or by crook or by booking photo.

Arianna Huffington sold her website to AOL for $315 million based on the business model of rounding up scores of scripting serfs who will write for free. With 7 series and a spate of spin- offs, the Bravo Network has practically given up on narrative programming, morphing into the Real Housewives or Women be Fighting and Stuff Network. The Weather Channel has a new reality show called 3 Fat Guys in the Woods, which infringes on absolutely no fairness in advertising doctrines. Anybody can be a star. Build your brand. We’re all one viral post away from the big time.

The NFL has attempted to harness these ambitions by charging musical acts to perform at their Super Bowl Halftime Show. The three finalists, Katy Perry, Coldplay and Rihanna have each been asked to pony up for the privilege of performing in front of billions of people AND to kick back a slice of their post- show concert tour. Next they’ll want an NFL logo carved in the haircut of the bass player. And who’s going to argue? It’s the bass player.

The most humane solution would be for the NFL to pay viewers to watch their overproduced lip- synched parody of an extravaganza. Or maybe just go back to marching bands and Frisbee catching dogs. But where’s the money in that?

Kim Kardashian’s new iPhone app is expected to make over 100 million dollars- this year alone. The goal of the game is to do anything and everything to become famous. Just that. Fame. It’s all about the exposure. Of course, in the Midwest we were taught you can die from exposure. Then again, couldn’t happen to a nicer couple than Rick Perry and Kim Kardashian. And the 3 Fat Guys in the Woods.

Copyright © 2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about the new documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including his one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” which will appear at the Third Avenue Playhouse in Sturgeon Bay Wisconsin Aug 26- 30. thirdavenueplayhouse.com

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BREAKING: Rick Perry indicted on two felonies

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Why, it was only a few months ago that I posted Rick Perry lawyers up for criminal investigation of bribery, coercion, abuse of authority (VIDEO). Follow that link for the back story.

Now there's this, via the Dallas News:

AUSTIN – Gov. Rick Perry was indicted on two felony counts for abuse of official capacity and coercion of a public servant late Friday by a Travis County grand jury.

The case stems from Perry’s vetoing the $7.5 million biennial funding for the Travis County Public Integrity Unit last year. He threatened to withhold the money unless District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg resigned.

More at the link.

What's his defense going to be? "I can't recall"? "God made me do it"?

Added: Our old pal @DAbitty tweeted this:

You know what to do:

get out the popcorn

 

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Dep't. of Our Bad! 11-year-old detainee is U.S. citizen

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Via onamatopoeia.wordpress.com

our bad, embarrassed, detainee story

So didja hear the one about the 11-year-old boy who spent more than a month at a New Mexico detention? Turns out he was a U.S. citizen! What a knee-slapper, amIright ladies and germs?

Via the Los Angeles Times:

An 11-year-old boy — one of hundreds who have been shuttled to an immigration detention facility in the middle of the New Mexican desert — was released this week after it was discovered that he is a U.S. citizen, according to the child's attorney. [...]

There have also been reports of abuses and inadequate access to attorneys, healthcare and food at new detention facilities, specifically in Artesia.

oops sorry

This child was held prisoner for more than a month. More than a month.

Laura Lichter, an immigration attorney and former president of American Immigration Lawyers Assn. who provides free legal counsel to detainees, said this:

"I think the fact that a U.S. citizen was detained and for this long before anyone actually realized that there was even the possibility that they had detained a U.S. citizen shows you just how little respect and attention is being given to people's cases... What this shows you is that there really is no due process here and that the system is only working in a way to deport people from the country. It is not working to protect people's claims."

Human rights, schuman schmights. Justice, schmustice. All that counts is rounding up as many of them "illegals" as possible who have that weird, non-white skin color. Throw 'em all in the hoosegow, pack 'em into a bus, and boot 'em out of our monochromatic Amurika. Who cares if they're citizens? They look different!

What's that? We've never been a monochromatic nation?

oopsie cat

Family values, my ass.

Freedom, my ass.

Exceptional, my ass.

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Rick Perry and his many Moments of Oops... including on immigration

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Rick Perry has had so many Moments of Oops that they're hard to count, let alone keep track of. But Rachel Maddow did just that. She compiled the best (meaning, the worst) Rick Perry "oops" reel in recent memory, all in one cringe-worthy segment.Why, here's one now!

rick perry stupidity

And that collection puts into context why Rick Perry would be a terrible, horrible, no-good president. That context includes his new-found, hypocritical, irrelevant "tough guy" attitude about immigrants. Rachel explains below:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Maddow:

He thinks about what he wishes he could have done differently or wishes what he could do over about his presidential run. Because other than his new fashionable eye glasses, the one major makeover that Governor Rick Perry has gone through since his disastrous presidential run, is that he no longer makes the mistake of talking about immigrants, or the issue of immigration, without pounding his chest...

Rick Perry's proposal to President Obama for what ought to be done, the one thing that President Obama says Rick Perry demanded of him yesterday that's not already being proposed by the Obama administration, the one thing Governor Perry wants, is that he wants the National Guard sent to the border....

It's very important to him that he sounds tough on this issue. And there's nothing tougher than sending troops.

But troops and the National Guard are also completely irrelevant to this particular crisis on the border right now... As an empirical matter, putting troops in armed positions on the border is irrelevant to this crisis. It would have absolutely no effect on this crisis.

Because what sets this border crisis apart is that this is not a situation in which people are sneaking across the border. This particular crisis is one that manifests as people walking up to border patrol agents and surrendering themselves to them. Walking up to border patrol agents and turning themselves in...

How is having troops there going to help that not happen?...

And that is why nobody asks Governor Rick Perry for his opinion on big policy matters.

oops he's doing it again

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GOP Gov. Susana Martinez "can be nasty, juvenile, vindictive, appears ignorant about basic policy"

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"Somebody told me he's absolutely eloquent in Spanish, but his English? He sounds like a retard."

Yes, New Mexico's GOP Susana Martinez laughs and played along as an aide says that about Ben Lujan (former Speaker of the House and father of NM Congressman Ben Ray Lujan).

ProgressNow reminds us that Governor Martinez has "actively promoted her own advocacy for her developmentally disabled sister in campaign ads, media pieces and slickly-produced profiles of her. 'Retard' as a descriptor of people like her sister has long since been considered inappropriate." How's that GOP outreach workin' for ya, Sue?

Mother Jones posted a whopper of a story about a side of Susana Martinez we haven't seen. And by whopper I mean, ouch! Apparently the private Susana Martinez differs from the public Susana Martinez. And as you may recall, public Susana Martinez has been the darling of many a Republican, not to mention a possible 2016 contender.

That may change:

No wonder, then, that many see Martinez, who turns 55 in July, as the party's future. Fox News host Greta Van Susteren touts her "great resume": America's first Latina governor. Former district attorney of a border county. Guardian of her mentally disabled sister. Tax cutter, gun owner, daughter of a sheriff's deputy. The Koch brothers invited her to speak at one of their secretive donor enclaves. Karl Rove singled her out in Time's list of last year's 100 most influential people as a "reform-minded conservative Republican." The Washington Post put her at the top of a list of likely 2016 vice presidential candidates; Romney has boosted her as a presidential contender.... In the media, Martinez is often compared to Sarah Palin [...]

Internal campaign records and interviews with former aides suggest that she didn't dig too deeply into the details of her own proposals: "Aren't we the ONLY state in the US that provides a NM drivers license to illegal aliens?" she asked in a November 24, 2009, email. (At the time, seven other states had similar policies.) [...]

Listening to recordings of Martinez talking with her aides is like watching an episode of HBO's Veep, with over-the-top backroom banter full of pique, self-regard, and vindictiveness. As Martinez and her campaign staff rewatched a recent televised debate, Martinez referred to Denish, her opponent, as "that little bitch." After Denish noted that the Albuquerque Chamber of Commerce had given her an award, McCleskey snapped, "That's why we're not meeting with those fuckers." [...]

A major postelection interview with Latina magazine became a punch line after Martinez asked her interviewer to "remind me" what the DREAM Act was.

As ProgressNow notes, Susana Martinez has no problem with references to Democrats as “Little Bitches” and “Little Retards.” There is more audio at that link.

If this is the real Susana Martinez, if this represents what she really thinks about teachers, women, the mentally disabled, and Hispanic business, she's going to have a lot of explaining to do.

There's a lot more where that came from.

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Rick Perry lawyers up for criminal investigation of bribery, coercion, abuse of authority (VIDEO)

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Rick Perry lawyer statement investigation bribery

Texas Governor Rick Perry, that quick thinker who couldn't remember his third talking point during the 2012 presidential debates, is lawyering up. There is a criminal investigation underway into whether he illegally withheld money from the Travis County district attorney's office.

Oops.

And now he's hired high-powered lawyer David Botsford to prove that Rick Perry, who swearstogod he broke no laws, broke no laws. The real nail-biter? Watching to see if Rick Perry can come up with three reasons why he's innocent.

Via KLBJ news radio:

Governor Rick Perry has hired a high powered attorney to represent him in an upcoming trial where he will defend himself against accusations he illegally withheld money from the Public Integrity Unit, a part of the Travis County D-A's office.  Perry cut funding to the unit during the last legislative session when Rosemary Lehmberg refused to step down from office after being convicted of drunk driving.

Rick Perry vetoed a budget item after the District Attorney was arrested for a DUI and then refused to resign. So yes, he may have "illegally withheld money," $7.5 million, from the Travis County District Attorney's office.

Oops.

Via KVUE, an ABC affiliate:

The hiring comes as a special Travis County grand jury is set to be seated Monday to hear evidence into whether Perry broke state laws concerning bribery, coercion and abuse of authority.

It's grand jury time in Texas! So GOP, how's that family values, reinvention thing working out? And your insistence that Republican governors are awesome? *coughChrisChristiecough*

Oops.

Get out the popcorn.

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Oops! Fox News [sic] misspells "Spelling Bee": VIDEO

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fox misspells Spelling Bee

oops

Fox News [sic] is even lamer and more inept than we thought, and that's saying something. We owe Politico big time for this one:

Psst! Fox News (Did I say "news"? I didn't mean to. That gives them way too much legitimacy.)! If you're going to make a typo, it's probably a good idea to avoid making one during a segment on a spelling bee, don'tcha think?

clusterfoxThen again, attention to detail and accuracy has never been their strong suit.

Or should that have been "deetale and akyurassy"?

Added: As @Xaron4 just tweeted to me, "Their viewers never noticed." Perfect.

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