Archive for march madness

Time for Another Stand-Up Political Comedy Blog

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comedy3 laugh jokes political comedy"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!

Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Vice President BIDEN said this week that the U.S. is considering sending troops to Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. It's bad enough that PUTIN took over the Crimea. We don't want to wake up one morning and find out that "Russia has us by the Baltics."

PUTIN'S approval rating has actually gone up 10 percent since he sent troops into the Crimea. When he heard, PRESIDENT OBAMA just shrugged and ordered troops to invade Canada.

VLADIMIR PUTIN signed a treaty that formally absorbs Crimea into the Russian Federation. I'm so frustrated. Just when I found out where the Crimea was, it's gone.

PUTIN said he can do this because of a little known rule in the U.N. Security Council. It is Article 5, section 3, clause 12 that states, "Finders keepers."

"March Madness" has tipped off this week and PRESIDENT OBAMA picked Florida, Arizona, Louisville and Michigan State to make it to the final four, with Michigan State beating Louisville to win the tournament. In response, VLADIMIR PUTIN started moving troops into Gonzaga.

Surprisingly, "March Madness" isn't that big a deal with CHARLIE SHEEN. Maybe it's because he'll have "April Madness," "May Madness"... and it'll go on right to the end of the year.

Two million people turned out for New York City's annual St. Patrick's Day Parade and at least half of them had been drinking since dawn. It's the one parade where the horses are the ones who have to watch where they step.

KOBE BRYANT told ESPN that he thinks even PRESIDENT OBAMA could make the Lakers' roster this year. He runs well, we've all seen him as a candidate. He's a straight shooter. too straight when it comes to negotiating with Republicans. Only one problem, he can't seem to pass anything.

Republican National Committee Chairman REINCE PRIEBUS said that the 2014 midterms will be a victory for Republicans thanks to Obamacare. Coincidentally, the name, REINCE PRIEBUS, sounds like something that can be cured with penicillin and is probably covered under Obamacare.

Tax season is once again upon us. It's a time when the government "OF the people, FOR the people and BY the people," stick it "TO the people."

Between the Federal, State and City my income has been taxed so often it has stretch marks.

This year I don't have to use H&R BLOCK because I'm H&R Broke.

It's also that time of the year, Spring Break time, when thousands of students will be heading to beaches and resorts to drink, do drugs and have sex. It's the only time in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida when condoms out sell "Depends."

Then they'll return to school and it's back to the same old grind - To drink, do drugs and have sex.

Los Angeles had an earthquake this week that registered 4.4 on the Richter Scale. To refresh everyone on the meaning of Richter Scale numbers. 3.2 means you'll need to get new glassware, 4.7 you'll need new cups and saucers and an 8.6 means you'll need to get new underwear.

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Cartoons of the Day- GOP March Madness

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gopmarch

"A Lot To Swallow" (Mark Streeter/Savannah Morning News)

Clay Bennett editorial cartoon

Via.

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Supreme Court to hear marriage equality cases in late March

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March madness

Let's hope this is a March to progress. Here's the latest on when the Supreme Court will be hearing oral arguments on the marriage equality cases, via NBC:

On Tuesday, March 26, it will take up the fight over California's Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage in the state.

The next day, Wednesday, March 27, it will hear the challenge to the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which bars the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages in the states where they're legal.

Here's to equality and respect for all Americans.

marriage equality gay wedding Washington

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The Book Booth: Tax Edition

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The Book Booth is a weekly feature at The Political Carnival, relating news, notes, and reflections from the world of books and publishing. SeattleDan, along with his wife, SeattleTammy, are operators of both an on-line bookstore, as well a brick and mortar in small town Washington State. Both have been in the book business since shortly after the Creation, or close to 6000 years now.

Well it is tax time, and if you are like me, you have procrastinated to the last minute. As you read this, I am crunching numbers. Lots of numbers. Mind-numbing numbers.

Sheer numbers cannot convey the vastness of the Universe. However some of these writers can with words. Here are this year Hugo Award nominees, by way of our friends at Publishers Weekly.

This weeks quiz is fun. Can you tell the difference between James Joyce and Kook Keith? I only got five of these correctly.

IndieBound highlights every month the picks from Independent Bookstores. Here are April's picks, from booksellers across the country.


Here's a neat feature from Poets and Writers and a must for the literary traveler.

I love the smell of old books. The odors are my madelaine cake, conjuring memories and emotions. An article from Huffington Post examines the science of old book aromas.

I am a chronic re-reader. Some books cannot be digested in one reading. Others beg for renewal. I make no apologies for this at all. Does one only look at the Mona Lisa once? Don't folks watch their favorite movies over and over again? Tom Lamont of the Guardian explores the pleasures of re-reading here.

Little Brown Publishers has released details and pricing for the new J.K. Rowling book. It will be released on September 27th and cost $35.00. Rowling has written a "darkly comic" novel for adults, about life and strife in a small English town and titled The Casual Vacancy. It appears there will be no teenage wizards, nor does it have any vampires or dystopic futures.

Finally, The New York Times had a fun interview with humorist David Sedaris. I share his enthusiasm for Flannery O'Connor, and think he is very wrong about Moby Dick. But you can find out what book is on his nightstand.

A good weekend to all The Political Carnival readers. And just what is on your nightstand?

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