Archive for Los Angeles

Overnight: Whole Foods Parking Lot: Revenge of the Black Prius

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Whole Foods

From YouTube:

Music: del nel
-"Revenge of the Prius" single now available at the itunes store!-
Lyrics & Performance by Delia Brown
Produced by Nelson Marquez

Video:
Produced and Directed by Delia Brown
Photography by Dillon Moore
(shot on a Canon 7D and a Go Pro)
Edited by Ted Gianopulos

Appearances by:
Delia Brown, Nelson Marquez, Rick Brown, Danielle "if you've got five dollars" Vaughn, Huey Pritchard, Joel Virgel, Lisa Kellogg (www.hiphopdancer.com), Stefano Martinelli, Keith Bataille, Fernando Martinez, Frankie de Goya, Matilda the chihuahua
Shout-outs: Justine Bateman, Marianne Brown, Adam Johnston, Christine Nichols.
And especially, Thank You to Fog and Smog for the inspiration...

Lyrics

intro:
Feather hair extensions? Check.
Om tatoo? Check.
Boutique Microbrew? Check.
Lululemon leggings? Check.
Camouflage hoodie? Check.
Prius Limosine? (don't you want to ride) Check...

Verse 1:
When I rolled up, this guy in a Clippers Cap
Was flippin' flack. Who you yellin at? You can't handle the heat in the parking lot of Whole Foods? What are you, some old dudes? Yo fools! Just like the GZA is a master of the Pro Tools, I'm ballin while you're followin the old rules. Quit stallin, y'all are growin toad stools. You drink kombucha? Why you sippin O'Douls?
Please. Let me get my space. I'm not in the mood cuz I got the taste for an iced soy latte mate, in my body...
I don't know karate, but I gotta get some kale to saute, so, please move your misguided hybrid out the way. I get vociferous when shopping for cruciferous veggies...!! Lemme hear you hollah. Pop the top on your favorite Odwalla (you can get one if you've got five dollahs)!!

Chorus:
You can't handle the heat in the parking lot?
Did you run outta your prescription for medical pot?
Instead of sittin on the little shopping carts they got,
You could just park next to the Passat.
You can't handle the heat in the parking lot?
Listen man, there's a Vons right down the block.
Don't you know you got a choice where you can shop,
besides you said your kombucha is out of stock...

Verse 2:
That's right I got a date tonight, and I'm cookin. My date is tall and really good lookin. Ok, it's not a date, it's just my FBF (huh?) My fake boyfriend (what?) What, are you deaf?!
She's comin over and she's bringing her chihuahua, and if you don't move it I'm a slap you like Zsa Zsa slapped a cop, stop blockin or it's gonna get hotter...Don't make me spray you with my coconut water!!
Tom's on my feet, I'm hoping I'll meet
a hottie with allergies to dairy and wheat, so I'll
spend some time in the gluten-free aisle,
Flash him a Tom's of Maine smile,
Let him know, I do downward dog like a pro! "you want a goji berry?" - "No thanks, I gotta go..."
I don't mean to Bragg like liquid aminos, but I was just too sexy for his chinos.

[Chorus...]

Verse 3:
What? I shouldn't shop at Whole Foods cuz I'm broke? You think that I should eat an inorganic artichoke? Yo bloke, I'm no joke, I need my acai...Watch us do some tai chi...
I've got a lot of problems, not a problem with a lot,
Keep stressin me dude, and get a shot!!
Of wheat grass, or filet'd Chilean sea bass,
I keep it raw like my agave nectar sweet ass.
Oh, you're gangster cuz your tshirts made of hemp, ay?
I'm wearin a tampon made of tempeh!!
But now I gotta get to TJs. Sipping fifteen dollar pinot noir in my PJ? You think I give a f--k? I keep it real with the two-buck-chuck! what what.
(Charles Shaw up in the house.
Sauvingon blanc forevahhh)

[Chorus...fade out]
Category
Comedy
License
Standard YouTube License

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

LA D.A.'s Office - You Must Be Sex Crime Victim To Sit On Rape Trial Jury

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Jury Selection

Prosecuting an accused rapist can be very difficult, nearly impossible if you ask many of the victims. They oftentimes have the tables turned on them, becoming accused of causing the attack themselves-- they were coming on to the attacker, or dressing in a provocative way, or even "wanting it, asking for it, deserving it!" Humiliation by the system victimizes them all over again.

Yet when a rape victim does go to the police and files a complaint, she/he expects not only the police to act, but also the  justice system. At least they have a reasonable assumption that the authorities will act promptly and properly.

Not always so, according to a shocking HUFFPO report.

In May 2012, Tucker Reed sat in the office of Rouman Ebrahim, Los Angeles County deputy district attorney for the sex crimes division, listening to him explain why the man who had confessed to raping her would not face criminal charges.

Here's the twisted logic behind this case not going ahead. And it's a doozy. It has nothing to do with the accused or any tainted evidence. The accused man in this case had already confessed to raping Ms. Reed. This is what anyone with the slightest intelligence would call a slam dunk case. Open and shut.

Or so you'd think. But here's where logic and reasoning clash. And it's not really the justice system at fault here. It's the idiot, Rouman Ebrahim, the deputy D.A.

He explained that no one who had experienced a sex crime, or who had ever been accused of one, would end up sitting on the jury. So his job was to filter out cases in which 12 jurors, who "have no experience in any kind of sex crimes occurring in their life," would concur beyond a reasonable doubt that a rape had taken place.

Is he saying 12 reasonable adults couldn't understand a confession unless they had been victims of the same crime?

Evidently so. According to him, a juror who had "no experience in any kind of sex crimes" would be incapable of reaching a verdict. Is this D.A. crazy?

Take this one step further. Under that pocket rule of his, only a murder victim could sit on a murder trial jury. Ask yourself this, other than in the movie, The Devil And Daniel Webster, where are you going to find 12 dead men and women to serve on that panel? This is insane.

Is Deputy Asst. District Attorney Rouman Ebrahim crazy or is it me? I hope it's me or else there's no way to bring anyone to trial anymore unless they were victims of the same crime.

Nuts, isn't' it? Oh, and BTW, this cretin Ebrahim is still serving in the District Attorney's office as of today, just in case you were curious.

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Donald Sterling, you are "banned for life"

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

donald sterling 2011

To Donald Sterling, a few million dollars is a drop in the bucket. Does it matter to him to be banned for life, because a fine is virtually meaningless.

Via The Hill:

The NBA on Tuesday banned Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling for life and fined him $2.5 million for making racially insensitive remarks that have roiled the political sphere and overshadowed basketball’s playoffs.

NBA commissioner Adam Silver also said he would encourage the NBA board of governors to force Sterling to sell the Clippers. That action would require a three-fourths vote by the league’s owners, and he said he would do everything possible to ensure it goes through. [...]

Silver said the ban would prevent Sterling, the owner since 1981, from attending practices or games. He would also be barred doing any business involving the team or be involved in any league activity.

UPDATE:

Silver said Sterling, in an interview, had admitted to him that the racist remarks on a recording released last week by the website TMZ were his. Silver said he would “do everything in my power” to see that Sterling was forced to sell the Clippers. “I fully expect to get the support I need to remove him,” Silver said.

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

PhotOH! L.A. Times runs half-page Donald T Sterling ad

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

donald t sterling 2011

UPDATE: The L.A. Times just sent this email alert:

Breaking news: Racist remarks were made by Sterling, girlfriend's lawyer says

Here is Steve Kornacki with the latest on the Donald T Sterling mess:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

but wait there's more smaller

The Los Angeles Times just sent out an email alert:

The National Assn. for the Advancement of Colored People announced Sunday that Donald Sterling will not receive an honor amid controversy over a recording said to be of the Clippers team owner making racist remarks.

The Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP had been scheduled to give Sterling the group's lifetime achievement award at its May 15 banquet.

"He is not receiving a lifetime achievement award from the NAACP," Lorraine Miller, NAACP interim vice president, told NBC’s "Meet the Press."

My previous post, NBA owner Donald T Sterling: “You can sleep with [black people]" but don't "bring them to my games," reported on Sterling's history, the original story, and what is likely be be only the beginning of his troubles. I wrote this:

I see his oozy, slimeball grin over and over and over again splashed on page after page of my morning Los Angeles Times. He places more ads than the Kochs during election season. And they're expensive ads.

BIG ads.

Full page ads.

And they all feature his big ol' ego smiling mug.

Yet as all the controversy over Donald T Sterling's (alleged) disgustingly, offensive and racist remarks continues, the Los Angeles Times posted this half-page ad Sunday on Page Two of its Business section (forgive the poor quality of the scanning, I did my best):

la times donald t sterling edited

Of course, it was probably too late to pull the ad, BUT... nowhere in today's front page article on Sterling, nor in the Business section, was there an update, disclaimer, or any other reference to the ad and its timing.

And for that, they should issue an explanation. They should also refrain from printing any further self-serving ads that feature Racist McSmugSmile (allegedly).

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

NBA owner Donald Sterling: “You can sleep with [black people]" but don't "bring them to my games"

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

donald sterlingSee that beer belly guy above? His name is Donald Sterling. I see his oozy, slimeball grin over and over and over again splashed on page after page of my morning Los Angeles Times. He places more ads than the Kochs during election season. And they're expensive ads.

BIG ads.

Full page ads.

And they all feature his big ol' ego smiling mug. You'd think after being exposed to so much Donald Sterling, I'd know what he was selling, but I don't. Seeing his omnipresent face irks me so much that I literally avert my eyes or turn the page. He's just. That. Annoying.

Well, now he's more than annoying. He's despicable. Via Think Progress:

Donald Sterling, the owner of the NBA’s Los Angeles Clippers, told his girlfriend not to post pictures on Instagram of herself with black people and not to bring black people to his basketball games, according to an audio recording posted by TMZ. [...]

Sterling tells his girlfriend: “You can sleep with [black people]. You can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask you is not to promote it on that … and not to bring them to my games.” [...]

In 2006, he was sued in a housing discrimination lawsuit that alleged that Sterling wouldn’t rent apartments to black families in Beverly Hills and other LA neighborhoods. The suit alleged that Sterling had once said that “black tenants smell and attract vermin.”

Go to Think Progress for the rest. But wait! There's more!

June 12, 2007: Donald Sterling is Homeless and Needs Your Help:

[T]he text is just a jumble of incomplete sentences. The only thing that is clear from the ad — from the giant Donald Sterling head to the giant “Sterling Homeless Center” on the building” — is that this homeless service center is really all about one thing: Donald T. Sterling.

donald sterling ads l.a. times 3

August 20, 2008: Donald T. Sterling Fakes His Philanthropy in a New Los Angeles Times Ad.

January 10, 2011: Donald Sterling Taking Out Ads in the New York Times: He’s Gonna Need ‘Em

March 1, 2011: The Donald Sterling PR Trainwreck Continues:

You want to celebrate Black History Month in March? And you want to sully your star player’s image by sticking your smarmy mug next to his in an advertisement? AND you somehow want to let in 1,000 underprivileged children for free, without providing any information on how that will work.

donald t. sterling ads l.a. times 2

donald sterling ads l.a. times

And just when you thought he couldn't get any worse, Donald Sterling Skimps on Copywriting:

donald sterling ads l.a. times 4

So much for his Sterling reputation. Maybe he and Cliven Bundy can go live on a ranch together far, far away.

Photos via Quixo.com and AdamRiff.com.

Spelling error photos via SonsOfSteveGarvey.com.

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

Dumb Starbucks

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

dumb starbucks

Video via Bloomberg.

UPDATEJoke's on L.A.: Comedy Central behind Dumb Starbucks faux shop

Apparently there is such a thing as a parody coffee shop, and they're serving up plenty of snark about-- who else?-- Starbucks, right here in the Los Angeles area. The enterprise looks like a Starbucks, has a similar name (Dumb Starbucks), acts like a Starbucks, serves coffee like a Starbucks, but with a twist or two. One of the twists: check out the prices. Keep reading.

There's no affiliation with the original, by the way. This is an independent cup o' jo(k)e. (Bygones.)

Nobody exactly knows who's behind the mockitude, but it's getting a lot of attention. But some of that attention is negative. It took the real Starbucks a little while, but now they're staking a claim on their name and don't want Dumb Starbucks to use it any more, even in fun. Yes, there's trouble brewing (bygones). In fact, real Starbucks is starting to foam (bygones) at the mouth a little.

Spoil sports. Now Dumb Starbucks will have a latte more on their plate (bygones).

Via the Los Angeles Times:

A list of frequently asked questions pegs the legality of the mock store to "parody art" — an art gallery where the coffee is considered the art.

The store looks nearly identical to a typical Starbucks location -- though it lacks the free Wi-Fi -- with tumblers and CDs, including "Dumb Jazz Standards," on display.

Drinks are served in cups that mock the company's logo, while pastries are pulled from display cases straight from their Vons packaging. The menu features such offerings as Dumb Iced Coffee, Dumb Frappuccinos and Wuppy Duppy Latte.

Part of the twist is, they're not charging for the lattes and iced coffees they serve. Yes, you heard that right:

free stuff

 

What better way to poke fun at the most prolific and pricey coffee sellers ever than to hand out free products?

Customers are trying to figure out if this is a spoof by a comedian, a performance artist, a Banksy prank, or a marketing gimmick by some unknown entrepreneur. Whatever it is, it's entertaining, attention-getting, and getting under the legal skin of corporate Starbucks in Seattle while mystifying everyone else trying to figure out who's behind it.

Figuring that out may be a tall order (bygones).

Video here.

dumb starbucks statement by real starbucks

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

From California To Maine, The GOP Is Very Scared

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare

fear 2

Don't let the press scare you if you're a Democrat or an Independent, or if you're a woman, LGBT, believe in evolution or science, are an immigrant, accept climate control, favor social welfare, public parks, clean air, or are young, have college loans or want financial reform. The Republicans who are against all of those things and more are showing signs of cracking. The Republicans might very well lose the House despite gerrymandering and they're certainly not going to regain control of the Senate.

How can I make such broad predictions? Well, here's a taste of what the RNC is thinking and how they're approaching their attack. Here's a piece of a story from BDN MAINE

The Maine GOP’s latest insult to women

Even as Maine Republicans are rolling out a traveling show in an attempt to gain support among young people, they seem to have given up on their attempts at outreach to another problem demographic for the party: the majority of voters that are female.

In a post on the Maine GOP Facebook page today the Party ridicules lawyer Sandra Fluke for considering running for Congress in California with an image macro claiming she “can’t afford birth control” but can afford the filing fee to enter the election.

This is a sign of fear. Why? Well, for starters you can't get farther away from California than Maine on any map of the US. Then look at the target of this attack. It's Sandra Fluke. She's best known for being denied a chance to speak to congress by the GOP as well as the over the top, outrageous misogynist and truly misinformed comments by Rush Limbaugh. He's the cartoon you look at when you want to point out crazy.

Sandra Fluke Ad 2

Finally, look at this campaign against the Fluke filing. She's just filed. So have two others and more are expected to vie for the seat of retiring Rep. Henry Waxman in Los Angeles. It's a Democratic seat and most likely will be filled with a Democratic candidate. But when just the filing of a political neophyte (and that doesn't mean she isn't an excellent candidate), brings on the opposition money and shivering in their timbers by Republicans across the country who will have no say in a Los Angeles area election, it says something. It says a lot. And true colors are coming to the surface. No matter how much lip service Republicans give to being inclusive, having a large tent or any other analogy, they clearly are not. They're white, old, out of touch with reality, anti-women, anti-employment, anti-Black, anti-immigrant and you can take that to the bank (polls).

They say animals can smell fear. Well so can people. And right now, if you take a whiff, that's the GOP's stinking, fear-filled carcass, not the licorice smell emanating from waters of West Virginia.

FacebookTwitterRedditDiggStumbleUponTumblrLinkedInPinterestEmailShare