Archive for lindsay graham

CPAC -- Conservatives On (Gay) Cruise Control (NSFW)

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Gay

Nothing like getting out of town and hanging out with the boys to get those conservative juices flowing. And by juices, I mean body fluids. And by boys hanging out with one another, I do mean bedding one another. Oh those sly conservatives. And you thought they were all button-down types. Read on. You, or at least they, will get a "bang" out of this.

How interesting that during the day, the many firebrand keynote speeches talked about everything wrong with this country, blaming everything on Obama -- education, healthcare, Benghazi, education, lack of jobs, the economy, over regulation and the XL Pipeline.

According to coverage on the CPAC convention, the XL Pipeline is actually gay code for eXtra Large Penis.

HUFFPO:

COLLEGE FRESHMAN IN TOWN FOR CPAC - (M4M) - 18

Coming into town Thursday afternoon through Sunday afternoon for a convention and looking to have some fun here. Mostly looking for very hung individuals to mess around with. I have a thing for really big cocks. I can deepthroat anything and love to swallow.

Okay, maybe this was just one guy in the ultra-right wing element who is looking to explore new horizons. An exception, not the rule. One bad apple kind of thing.

CPAC 24 M4M (NSA) M4M (CPAC)

It is that time again and I want to have some NSA [no strings attached] fun after the speeches. I want to fu*k your mouth while I sign you up on the healthcare marketplace. [closet liberal or closet gay] I want you to be the gipper and go down on my jellybeans. I want to be discreet.

Well, maybe two gays slipped through the cracks. After all, if you heard the speeches from the guests so far during the CPAC convention, you'd know that gays are not part of the conservative agenda. If they are anything, they're the entertainment. The naughty entertainment.

CPAC m4m - 43 (National Harbor)

Radical libertarian would like to tie up and abuse proglodyte and leftover journalists. Boys who look like Sally Kohn or Chris Hayes who need to be tied up, slapped around and fu*ked. Also any Rick Santorum supporters in the closet  or younger versions of Lindsay Graham or John McCain. Of if you are just a decent constitutionalist type, we can have regular non-hate sex or a drink. Your place.

These are just three of the volumes of gay sex-seeking personal ads on Craigslist -- dudes just looking for love while the conservatives are in town. Seems like CPAC is quite a freaky annual outing -- and I do mean outing.

But, just so you don't think that the these convention folks are all bigots, there was this ad:

CPAC Head - 34 (DC)

Cpac ad picture

Masculine, super-discreet and clean cut black guy looking to give head to masculine guy in town for CPAC. DDF only. Any race.

In case, like myself, you didn't know what DDF stood for, I looked it up. It means Drug and Disease Free. Good for those ultra conservatives. They really are concerned with healthcare. Just not Obamacare.

I'm sure not all conservatives are freaks. Others are just plain ignorant or in some cases, stupid. But from this HuffPo report, there's certainly lots of partying going on, and from these ads -- this mostly boys club gives new meaning to the expression, "boys will be boys." It's more like boys will be into other boys.

File this under the 'GOP hypocrite files.' These are the same people who fight same sex marriage, pass bills restricting women's right to choose and religious freedom bills designed to be anti-gay bills. Who are they fighting for with their rhetoric? Probably tonight's No Strings Attached anonymous hook-up.

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Was Fox News More Diligent Than CBS' 60 Minutes?

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head scratching

Here's a hard one to figure out and even harder to accept if true (I'll get into that in a minute) -- Fox News did a better background check on a potential witness than those stalwarts over at 60 Minutes. Before you scoff, read on.

The story in question has to do with the GOP's second favorite talking point-- Benghazi. The first, of course, is the "trainwreck" of Obamacare. There's not a more commonly used mantra in all of the Republi-kingdom than trainwreck but close behind is Benghazi. So any sliver of embarrassment or innuendo of wrong doing by Obama on Benghazi becomes instant fodder on Fox News.

So how is it that 60 Minutes produces a segment that Fox News held back because even that bastion of rumor and innuendo found the witness's story to be contradictory to his official reports?

The basis of the 60 Minutes segment was an eye-witness account of the attack September 11, 2012. The focus was on a contractor who went by the pseudonym “Morgan Jones,” a security officer who witnessed the diplomatic compound attack. I guess you can't get much better than someone who was right there in the heat of the lethal riot to give you a true perspective.

From Raw Story:

A Fox News correspondent said the following day that the network had been working on a story with the same security officer, but those efforts ended when he asked for money in exchange for his participation.

Fox News aren't the only ones who question the motives and veracity of the contractor's statements. The Raw Story goes on:

The Washington Post report, published Thursday, said the source [“Morgan Jones,”] provided a written account to his employers three days after the attack that he’d spent the night of the Sept. 11, 2012, terrorist attack at his own beachside villa in Benghazi.

We could not get anywhere near (the diplomatic compound) as roadblocks had been set up,” said the security contractor, whose real name was confirmed as Dylan Davies by officials who’d worked with him in Libya.

So who you gonna believe? Dylan "Morgan Jones" Davies or his official report filed three days after the event? Before you make up your mind, consider this:

The “60 Minutes” report claimed the security officer had scaled a 12-foot wall while it was still overrun with Al Qaeda forces, and Davies said on the program that he’d personally struck one of the terrorists in the face with the butt of his rifle.

A brave Brit, he is. Yet:

The security officer’s co-author told The Washington Post that Davies may have been dishonest in his incident report because his employer had asked him to stay away from the compound after he was told of the attack by telephone.

On the heels of these revelations, what should venerable truth sayers like 60 Minutes do? Well, so far they are standing by their story. Hmm.

It does make you wonder... If it doesn't stand the low-bar sniff test at Fox News... if it fails the higher veracity standards at the Washington Post, what does CBS know that the others don't?  Is that big CBS eye about to blink?

Armed with these diverging reports, watch the segment and decide for yourself:

CBS, we're waiting...

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Lindsay Graham, Today's Graham Cracker

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graham crackers ice cream

Growing up, I loved a simple dessert - it was ice cream and a Graham Cracker. So until my adult years and the ascendancy of South Carolina's Lindsay Graham, all was well in the cracker world. That is until the great Palmetto state gave away it's representation to a Graham cracker of a different kind.

This cracker is used in the pejorative, as in white trash. In slavery times, which some say continues even today but under a slightly more modified term, crackers were slave owners who used to "crack" their whips at slaves. The way Senator Lindsay talks, swaggers and acts, I think this southern gentleman hasn't yet caught on -- it's 2013, not 1860.

So I decided to channel someone who might know a bit more about these curious days of yesteryear, I've brought back my slave ancestor from the '60s, I'm talking the 1860s, to comment on what he's seeing, through his perspective.

Re: Senator Lindsay Graham:

"It seems the workers, all of us outside the plantation Mr. Lindsay Graham lives on -- AKA The Senate -- don't know what is good for us, only what's good for us if the plantation owner says so. And right now the owner, Mr. Lindsay Graham is going through a conniption fit. He's madder than an alligator that's pond's gone dry 'cause he can't have that war with the North --or that strange land land he calls Syria -- that he's had his heart set on.

He knows that in peaceful times, we slaves down on his plantation do get restless or sometimes, as Mr. Lindsay Graham calls us, complacent.

So Carolina plantation

Fortunately for us, Mr. Obama -- or the Black White House plantation boss, found us some peace and Mr. Lindsay isn't going to get his war. He's sure gonna be smokin' hotter than the pork hanging in the meat curin' shack out back. He was counting on that war to show off the size of his "member" he got's inside them fancy dress britches he loves to strut around in.

Now I'm not the only one who's seen this man's wrath. He's made it clear also to that Jewish gentleman from up north, the one who's on that TV box. So you don't have to believe me. You can hear it fer yourself right here in case you missed it on Paddy's post, Fifty Shades of Graham:

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The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

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elephants infighting fighting smaller

When you stand for something, you have a strong foundation. When you stand for nothing, you collapse.

The GOP no longer stands for anything -- they're as scattered as buckshot at a turkey shoot. Now comes news of another Republican stalwart facing intra-party conflict. The Tea Party is again attacking one of their own-- Senator Lamar Alexander.

NASHVILLE, Tennessee (Reuters) - Senator Lamar Alexander of Tennessee will be challenged by conservative state representative Joe Carr in the Republican primary next year, becoming the fourth incumbent Republican U.S. senator to face a primary challenge from the political right.

I guess the south does rise again, along with Wyoming. GOP incumbents, long considered "safe" are now under attack from the right.

Republican U.S. Senate leader Mitch McConnell faces a challenge from conservative businessman Matt Bevin in Kentucky, Wyoming U.S. Senator Mike Enzi is being challenged by Liz Cheney, the daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney, and U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham faces at least three primary challengers in South Carolina.

What's a factious party member, long held as a stalwart in the GOP supposed to do?

Twenty Tennessee Tea Party and conservative groups last week published an open letter calling on Alexander to retire with dignity instead of seeking re-election in 2014.

It's becoming pretty clear. There is no one GOP. It's two or three scattered parties, without focus, and with fear as their guiding beacon.

Alexander responded with an opinion piece in The (Nashville) Tennessean newspaper rejecting the call, saying the state needs to send to Washington conservatives who know how to govern.

"Governing means listening, standing up for what you believe in and solving problems to get a result," he said.

Go ahead, Senator Alexander.  Tell us what you're standing up for and believe in. Is it right wing craziness or some across the aisle common sense? I bet you choose the wacky right, because you lack the fortitude to govern with your beliefs. Prove me wrong.

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Forget It, Jake, It's Chinatown

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Chinatown movie poster

I loved CHINATOWN, the movie. It's one of my favorites for so many reasons. And there's one exchange with Jack Nicholson (Jake Gittes) and Faye Dunaway (Evelyn Mulwray) where Nicholson wants the truth about Dunaway's relationship with her "daughter." It goes like this:

Evelyn Mulwray: She's my daughter.

[Gittes slaps Evelyn]

Jake Gittes: I said I want the truth!

Evelyn Mulwray: She's my sister...

[slap]

Evelyn Mulwray: She's my daughter...

[slap]

Evelyn Mulwray: My sister, my daughter.

[More slaps]

Jake Gittes: I said I want the truth!

Evelyn Mulwray: She's my sister AND my daughter!

And so a similar situation exists with Senator Lindsay Graham. He can't quite bring himself to tell the truth. If this was the public interrogating him on the NSA, Sequestration, Benghazi, Obama's performance, it would be:

Graham: It's, the Democrats  who F'd up. We had to do the sequestration. They made us do it.

[slap]

Public: How?

Graham: They elected the Black guy.

[slap]

Public: I said I want the truth.

[slap]

Graham: That is the truth. I swear. We can't have a... one of them running things.

[slap]

Graham: Besides, the president knew Benghazi was going to happen and refused to act. Then he covered it up.  Ask McCain. He's the one who I work for. He'll tell you. And sequestration? We only went along to teach the... Obama a lesson.

[slap]

Graham: Why'd you hit me. I'm talking.

Public: That one's for being such a jerk. Does the name Nancy Mace ring a bell?

Graham: Nancy Mace. I know a Nancy Grace.

[slap]

Graham: Yes, yes, I know her. The Tea Party's is using her to expose me for being a RINO. I'll tell you anything you want to know if you can stop her from primarying me.

Public: We want the truth about sequestration. How is Obama's really handling foreign threats in the Middle East? Are you going to vote to shut down our country over the budget and Obamacare?

[slap]

Graham: Okay, okay. I'll talk. I'll talk. But only to Candy Crowley. And please, save me from a primary. Nancy Macy might beat me then I'll be jobless like all the others who I took away their livelihoods with my austerity votes.

[slap]

So that's all it takes is slapping spineless officials around with a primary threat and their true colors come out. How's that yellow suit go with your silver hair, Lindsey?

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Kung Fu With A Twist

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Karate competition

I have to admit it. I'm a sucker for a good sporting event.

Internationally, it's what helps bring people together. That's why something like the Olympics is too important to politicize. Nations have built peace on friendships brokered through sports. Police and convicts have bonded in friendly games of football, soccer and softball. Gangs have even formed truces through sports. It's very important, and when you hear knuckle-brains like Lindsay Graham threatening to try to halt America's involvement in the Russia Winter Olympics, it just frosts me.

There is something I don't like about sports, though. Injuries. I've seen broken legs and arms in football, soccer, basketball and baseball. 20 bike wipeouts in the Tour de France. Flips and total 86's in skiing and skating. Even in marathons and don't get me started on the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Car crashes at NASCAR and smashing into the boards in hockey. I've seen knock outs in boxing and even people with huge knots in the foreheads getting hit by a wayward drive on a PGA Tour event. How about Greg Loughanis cracking his skull diving? It can happen.No sport is without it's famous injuries, or even worse, occassional fatalities. And if you're on the squimish side, as I tend to be, there's always that little lingering doubt of what might go wrong no matter what the sport. But I love sports. Perhaps it's the unpredictability.

So now comes youth Karate. I thought I'd seen it all until this bout began. Caution: You might just enjoy this "contact" sport.

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Olympic Boycott or Olympic Gaff?

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Olympic Boycott

If one thing is constant, it's that Lindsay Graham doesn't have a brain. Just ask his puppet master, John McCain.Even Grandpa Grumpy is getting weary of his antics and motor mouthing on any topic at any time.

Here's his latest, according to Talking Points Memo:

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) suggested Tuesday that the United States should boycott the 2014 Winter Olympics if Russia offers asylum to National Security Agency leaker Edward Snowden.

Next year's winter games are slated to be held in Sochi, Russia.

“I would. I would just send the Russians the most unequivocal signal I could send them,” Graham told The Hill when asked about a possible boycott.

“It might help, because what they’re doing is outrageous,” Graham added. “We certainly haven’t reset our relationship with Russia in a positive way. At the end of the day, if they grant this guy asylum it’s a breach of the rule of law as we know it and is a slap in the face to the United States.”

But Graham's longtime ally on Capitol Hill, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), didn't seem as receptive to a boycott.

Don't listen to him, Sen. Graham. You da man. You know better than Gramps. Lead us to victory...

Silly Lindsay Graham 3

You all may think this is silly, but I think Lindsay's got a valid point, one we learned during the 1980 Olympic boycott. If the US doesn't participate, the Olympics loses --a sacrifice that benefits everyone -- especially the hard working athletes who train their fanny's off to bring us national pride. Who needs more understanding and friendship through peaceful sporting events? Certainly not the United States with it's vaunted standing in the international community.

Go ahead, Lindsey, tell us again how well that boycott worked for us last time? We showed them, didn't we? It ruined the Olympics right? It caused them to go under, right? We were missed from the event, right? Has there been a successful Olympics since? No!

Or yes. Depends on who you ask. How did John McCain, your hero explain it?

“There’s many things we can do, but I think the experience of canceling the Olympics the last time around (well, actually 23 years ago and 5 Olympics later) wasn't very good,” McCain said, as quoted by The Hill.

The United States and the Soviet Union each boycotted the Olympics during the 1980s amid the Cold War. First, the U.S. boycotted the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow, prompting the U.S.S.R. to boycott the summer games in Los Angeles four years later.

If you think I'm just being snarky, sure. And I'm going to take it one more beat.

I dug a little deeper and saw that this particular proposed 2014 Winter Games boycott has special meaning for the South Carolina gentleman. He's considered an early favorite in the newest event. So his is a selfless act. He's willing to sacrifice his own personal moment in the spotlight to make a statement. And if he does, next years downhill speed deception luge event (DSDL), will never be the same. An American boycott is sure to cost us at least one medal, if not a complete sweep.

four man luge

The DSDL mixes speed with a twisting of the truth on slippery sloping track complete with dangerous hairpin turns, precipitous elevation of veracity changes and deceptive innuendo and fact-checking traps. Wipe-outs and crashes are as commonplace as a trick being turned in a Parisian whorehouse.

It is widely anticipated the US senatorial team, with none other than the South Carolina Senator as an early front runner to not only represent the US and medal, but to bring home the coveted Alfred E. Neuman, "What, Me Lie?" award for individual achievement.

Along with Lindsay Graham, the four-man US team, already training hard to represent the US include perennial crowd favorite John McCain, the wrinkly and crusty Mitch McConnell, and the elusive  John Cornyn who rumor has it, is training with personal coach and potential future teammate, Sarah Palin. Though an aging team, they believe experience can take them to the top spot on next year's winner's podium -- and I agree.

So why does Lindsey Graham want to boycott the Olympics with so much personal glory at hand? He's a team player. He's putting America first. He's going to show them Ruskies. If you can't get what you want, try to rain on their parade. That'll teach them to give asylum to someone we want.

You go, boyee.

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