Archive for jon stewart

Jon Stewart Takes It Straight to Hillary: Are you running or not, Lady??

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Well, the pundits are giving former Secretary Hillary Clinton a good grade on her Daily Show with Jon Stewart performance, so that means the polls are in … and, she, of course, course-corrected some previously inartfully stated statements.

For the progressivess who perhaps feel a wee bit … stuck ... with Hillary as a more hawkish candidate when who we really really really really want in that seat is the popular and authentically populist Elizabeth Warren … was this helpful?

Warren, by the way, isn't going to Australia or anything as far as we know, and is kicking ass for other female candidates - and not necessarily those who agree with her or vice versa on every little detail like clean coal. Women are truly excellent at this consensus for the greater good business.

Girls

How astonishingly honest. We might agree with a candidate 80% of the way, and use the 20% discomfort margin of differences to work pulling them hard to the Left. It's genius. Why haven't Democrats happened onto this 'fall in line' strategy before?

You'll find a lot of answers in the Stewart interview. It pretty much pins HRC in position to run, like an ether-woozy Luna moth, with a fetching enough laugh, about to be on semi-permanent display in a largely stationary exhibition spot.

"Do you prefer a home office, or are you happy with a commute? What shape would you prefer that office to be? Are corners of interest?" {paraphrasey} Now these are the questions we wanted answered!

Meanwhile, Fvx Nation has cranked their Hysteria Periscope to the interview and are certain it contains clues to Clinton's inevitable impending doom, it's only a matter of time before Karl Rove is pinning a deputy badge on Dick Morris's puffed-out-chest and calling for a Recall.
hrcTDS

The Morning Joe Schmoe Roundtable was grudgingly enthused. About the PAC monies.


November is a whisper away.

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GOP addiction to war leads to "culture of defendency" turning them "all into warfare queens"

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priority fail gop fail culture of defendency

Jon Stewart is brilliant. I rarely use that word, but it applies here. Last week on The Daily Show, he devoted another of many segments to GOP hypocrisy, this time how it applies to spending enormous amounts of money on war. He exposed their hypocritical addiction to budgeting for wars, but not for domestic needs. And then he popped out with the best phrase coinage I've heard in a long, long time: "Culture of defendency" and "warfare queens".

We have a winner:

Jon Stewart:

You do know terrorism isn't the only thing Americans would like to be protected from... [And then he went on to enumerate issues here in the U.S., like crumbling infrastructure]...

Chris Matthews to Jeff Sessions:

"So you have faith that the cost of this war in casualties, and the cost of like a half a trillion dollars, the risk in terms of getting people in the world not liking what we're doing, which is fairly obvious, it is all worth it, 'cause if we do fail-- things fail-- and we come home, and after we come home and it fails over there, they go back to some military coup... isn't that a danger that we can't change the course of a country if we're only going to be there a limited amount of time?"

Sessions:

"I don't believe that's gonna happen."

What?!

Unlimited money to go over there, "I don't think anything bad's gonna happen"... Well how about spending some money on cleaning up the mess you made here at home for the veterans?...

I'm worried. I'm really worried about the Republicans, their inability to wean themselves off of military intervention.

They have a culture of defendency, if you will. And I believe it's turned them all into warfare queens. And I think we need to cut them off for their own good.

gop fail streetcar named we're always wrong

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The FIFA Biter Needs To Go - Even Maddow and the NY Times Noticed

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Okay. Am kind of a huge inner soccer (or 'futball' if you want to sound like a hipster) fan, which was momentarily and embarrassingly public after the husband went to work and I saw Portugal score the United States out of their Advance Sunday night.

The neighbors heard me. By the way, the USA USA USA plays next on Thursday morning, 11-11:30 a.m. - 2 p.m. EST. If you didn't already catch Will Durst's jocular advice on watching World Cup events, find it here.

 

Public high schools in Vermont did not all have American football, I should say 'nuff said and leave it there. The FIFA rules are generally more sensible than the sport we revere that takes more protective equipment that some combat duty requires to get on the field and play.

Not even sure the hardcore European FIFA stars or South American hot trotters even 'rock a jock'.

Cameras rarely zoom in, there's not as much big FIFA media money in the sport until World Cup time, but when they do perk up - this game they nailed a Known and Abetted Biter. One who pulled those incisors out and didn't even get carded for trying to get a taste of Italy.

No Biting, Dude!

It re-traumatized poor Holyfield. The NY Times even gave Uruguay's Suàrez some shade.

Luis Suárez, the Uruguayan striker who has emerged as one of the best players in the world over the past year, is a biter. And, it seems, a serial one.

TysonBite

MSNBC's Rachel Maddow, already in a great mood due to celebrating the impending doom of Doofus Lipton Brigadier McDaniel in Ole' Mississippi last night, admirably took the time to note this poor, poor-FIFA sportsmanlike outbreak of aggressive overbites. I have thus far failed to find a clip, but her podcasts are available about mid-day.

ABC news reported in around elevenses East Coast that there will indeed be a FIFA investigation. Details here.

Meanwhile, because … again … we aren't sadists here at The Carnival, catch this kind of unusual video of John Oliver admitting the most difficult things [annoying ones] about Jon Stewart. From the Bravo Network.

Not that I've ever been over there. Ever. They give celebrities and the odd pundit cocktails and shots and just see what flies. [And then post it online so your spouse never has to know.]

If they can get cigars (or joints, a Seattle set could happen they already take the show to Austen, Texas) back on Fairly Live TV, Andy Cohen is going to be even more beloved than he is now.

I've heard.

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GOP Men Spill Democracy Seed, Now Hate Their Bastard Child

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Weed

One of the many excuses the Republicans gave for invading Iraq was that we needed to sew the seeds of Democracy. Yes, really, those are their words-- the seeds of Democracy. Forget 911, Saddam's nuclear threat or his weapons of mass destruction. Revisionism history by the current crop of Republicans declares our reasons/goal for invading Iraq was really Gardening 101 -- planting seeds of Democracy.

Where do these seeds of democracy come from? Burpee? Miracle Grow? Henry Jones or Gurney? C'mon, this is America. You get the seeds of Democracy from the GOP. After all, where else can you find something to germinate that comes in its own fertilizer?

Curiously though, what do you do if when the seeds finally take root, the plant springs up through the sand and you don't like the plant you cultivated? You do what you would with any weed. You look for ways to eliminate it. Forget all the plant food (money) and insecticide you wasted (lives) and just plain take out the weed-whacker (the U.S. military) and mow that sh*t down.

Gardening expert and news/comedy show host Jon 'Mr. Green Jeans' Stewart has the full story for us. After listening to him, we're going to need some of that John McCain/Lindsay Graham fertilizer to bring our new crop of Democracy in Iraq to harvest. But if anything has the magic of Miracle Grow, it's John McCain/Lindsay Graham's 90-10 blend: 90% moronic, 10% nuts. They've joined together (which means Mrs. Green Jeans, Kelly Ayotte has linked with them) and figured out what went wrong. It's that stupid farmer, Barack Obama. His Kenyan green thumb is really brown and he's the problem the Iraq Democracy plant crop has gone bad.

Here's the Daily Show 'How To Grow A Healthy Democracy' segment:

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Jon Stewart skewers "Dr." Karl Rove's slimy diagnosis of Hillary Clinton #Brainghazi

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Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Once again, Jon Stewart kills it on The Daily Show. This time around, he's all over Donald Sterling and Karl Rove the way slime oozes all over Republicans-- like Nebraska U.S. Senate nominee Ben Sasse (R), who will "promote almost anarchistic vision" as Senator: Religion trumps law.

Above is Bill Clinton's reaction. Below is Jon Stewart's inimitable take on The Daily Show:

Jon Stewart:

Apparently Karl Rove unskewed that number [the number of days Hillary Clinton was in the hospital after her fall].

Clearly, he thought CraniumGate was going to be a slam dunk talking point. Turns out, not really.

"I never said 'brain damage'! All I said, I merely noted, in passing, that she was wearing traumatic brain injury eye wear, whaddyacall there, loboto-lenses, whatever! The boop-boop! glasses, you know, whatever you want to call 'em."

Really, Karl, you sure you want to go conspiracy route on this one?

Unanswered questions! An attempted cover-up! My god! It's Brainghazi!!

How many synapses! We need the truth!! Brainghazi!!!!!

Just one quick question before you go there, House MD: When did you start caring so much about the brain fitness of those who have to hold the Oval Office?

I assume it was right after your boss fell and banged his head after losing a battle with the pretzel. Dude blacks out, next thing you know he's starting an unprovoked war in Iraq.

Now he spends his days eating applesauce and painting his feet.

gw bush paintings nudes via Gawker

So, Karl, how do you explain your own cranial issues? Or your former boss's?

H/t: TheWeek.com

karl rove hillary clinton jon stewart brainghazi

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Premature speculation: Jon Stewart skewers 2016 election coverage

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2016 election speculation Jon Stewart

premature speculation

Last time I looked, the 2016 elections come AFTER the 2014 elections, which seems obvious to those of us who can count. And who own calendars. And who aren't news dee jays. And who don't have zillions of dollars available to influence elections, dollars that they slather all over their favorite candidates and causes. So who better to mock the premature 2016 election speculation glut than-- ta daa!-- Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

Presenting "Democalypse 2014: 2016 Foreplay Edition," the "prespeculation hypotheticals":

Jon Stewart:

Why speculate about the near future-- when you can speculate about the far future? Coming up: Your ten day forecast!-- For next February...

Clinton v. Bush! Thank god we fought a bloody war against England so that political power would no longer be consolidated in but one family, because in my mind, two just makes sense...

Does this mean [Hillary's] hungry for 2016? ... We don't know. Because we can't know. But still. What?...

I wonder if old Wyatt Oops [Rick Perry] is gonna get back in the saddle?... I know what he's doing!... He's going from the handsome bimbo to the bookworm!

He said that in reference to Perry's "glasses of ensmartenment."

And he didn't forget to skewer the Bushes. NosirreeGeorge.

H/t: The Week

jon stewart Hillary Clinton 2016 election speculation

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Cartoon Cliven Bundy: "In MY America, one man's delusion is another man's dream!"

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cliven bundy jon stewart

David Horsey nailed it in his Los Angeles Times article and political cartoon, both calling out crackpot racist Cliven Bundy for what he is: delusional:

david horsey clive bundy

Bundy hops on his horse and parades around carrying the flag of the government he says he doesn’t believe in. He boasts that he is just like one of the founding fathers. He apparently has not figured out that most of his countrymen are starting to see him as a deadbeat who, for 20 years, has fed his cattle for free on land that doesn’t belong to him — land that, in law and in fact, belongs to the people of the United States.

In an earlier post, Cliven Bundy said that his 'Negro' remarks were totally not racist.

Oh.

Our bad.

Kidding.

Here's what he had to say this morning on CNN:

Wow. Really? He's now the Official Martin Luther King historian and spokesperson? About Rosa Parks?

The scary thing is, Cliven Bundy is just the tip of a very ugly, very ugly conservative iceberg. Via the Southern Poverty Law Center:

militia extremist patriot groups chart southern poverty law center

Jon Stewart had a thing or two to say about this "hero on the right" who wanted to "keep his cows on welfare":

Jon Stewart:

"He's also apparently a professor of Negro studies...

...at Duke University....DAVID Duke University."

He's all yours, GOP. You can try to run away from your adulation of this horror story of a being, but all your public smooches were recorded for all to see, documented forever. Good luck with that.

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