Instacurity. By the time you look it up, it'll probably be too late. It's by far, the fastest growing disease in the states, hell, in the world. By the time you finish this post, you or someone you know will come down with it.
Instacurity's not fatal, but it is debilitating. It's also contagious as the flu. It'll catch up with you before you ever realize you're becoming infected. Face it, it's more rampant than "the walkers" stalking the survivors surrounding the Walking Dead compound.
Yesterday I had a business dinner at a well known Beverly Hills eatery. I was fine when I arrived. Actually feeling quite buoyant, looking forward to this book interview. Aware of my surroundings and knowing that "the illness" strikes across all socio-economic lines, I was vigilant. I kept my attention scanning the room for possible carriers. And sadly, even before my meeting showed up, I realized I couldn't go through with it. The infected far outnumbered the healthy. I was right smack in the middle of ground zero. I had to escape to have any chance of avoiding this affliction.I put down my water glass, stowed my linen napkin, and darted for the door.
Before I could reach the exit, I found myself face to face with the man I was there to be interviewed by. It was bad enough that he was tweeting on his cellphone and bumped into me, but it made it impossible,when he finally looked up and said, "Hey, it's you. Good timing. I just gotta finish this. A friend of mine just got a flat tire." I was stuck. I was caught. I had no escape.
At the table we exchanged pleasantries when suddenly his phone vibrated and he apologized,"Oh, I hope you don't mind. I just gotta take this. She misplaced one of her nuts" His fingers danced across his iPhone screen before I could answer, but I was thinking I knew where the missing nut could be found.
Just as he looked up to me, my cellphone rang. I didn't answer it, but noticed on the screen, I had five tweets. What could I do? The interviewer shrugged and told me to go check 'em out.
I clicked on to see who they were from. And before I could read the third one, I realized... I had it. I was infected. I had the disease. I had instacurity.
If you want to know more, if you want to see if you have it, and if you want to educated yourself or try to inoculate yourself, watch this. All I can say is, good luck.