Archive for how do you spell loser?

GOP candidate for gov. has criminal record: Registered sex offender, manslaughter, rape attempt

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gop disaster zone gop candidate

Who wouldn't vote for a GOP candidate for governor with a criminal record? After all, the "party of family values" has forgiven D.C. Madam client, Sen. David Vitter (R-LA),  for his sins, right? So why let a little attempted rape and voluntary manslaughter in a GOP candidate's past get in the way of stump speeches and fundraising fun? In fact, just such a guy recently spoke at the California state party's semi-annual convention.

So what if he spent years and years behind bars for his crimes? Meh. He's found the lord now, and in RepublicanLand, that's what really matters. All a party member has to do is mention the G word (no, not gun... God), and they expect forgiveness.

Meet Glenn Champ, 48, whose rap sheet reads like a pulp fiction novel. The Los Angeles Times has the story:

Champ's rap sheet is lengthy. Court records show that in 1992, he pleaded guilty to carrying a concealed firearm. In 1993, he was convicted of two counts of assault with intent to commit rape and as a result was placed on the state's sex-offender registry.

In March 1998, he accepted a plea deal on a charge of loitering to solicit a prostitute; later that year, he pleaded no contest to a voluntary manslaughter charge after hitting a man with his vehicle, for which he was sentenced to 12 years in state prison, according to court records... Champ said the assault case "was just for picking up some underage prostitutes" and resulted in a 90-day jail sentence.

But see, that's when Champ turned his life around, he says. "I found the Lord when I got arrested for picking up the prostitutes," he says.

"I was like most people, ignorant in the darkness, in the very dark. I had no peace, had no love, had no joy. And now I do. Praise God for that…. I've grown considerably since I met Christ," he says.

"There was a situation where the gentleman, he was a little bit drunk and was trying to get violent and I left the area as quick as I could and apparently he got in the way. I didn't see him or even know I hit him until about four hours later, till it came on the news," he says.

You know what else he says? This one'll slay you! (Or maybe Champ'll slay you, so keep your distance.) He says that the politicians in Sacramento are the "criminals" because they want to infringe on his gun rights.

No, I'm not kidding.

The California Criminal who was convicted of assault actually said that, and then this: "I know what the criminal mind thinks, and I know how it works and I know how to stop it, and that's something [other politicians] don't get."

What a Champ. Be proud, GOP, he's your guy.

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"Tea Party: Only people who believe exactly what we believe deserve to be called real Americans"

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tea party all alone

Today’s guest post by the one, the only, Will Durst:

RINOs AND AINOs

Now we bore deep into the bunker that houses triumphant Tea Party headquarters where they are celebrating a tactical victory over the forces of complacency and complaining loudly about all the chicken-hearted Republicans In Name Only who bowed to the will of our Socialist President, and voted to reopen the government and avoid a global financial meltdown.

“Wussies. Those RINOs don’t represent real Americans. You know who they represent: AINOs. Americans In Name Only. Because only people who believe exactly what we believe deserve to be called real Americans. AINOs should be counted as 3/5ths of an American. We and only we are listening to the real heartbeat of this country. Nobody else has the same filter. Which is made out of tinfoil.

The media keeps asking, ‘how does it feel to lose?’ But we didn’t lose. We won. We won by losing. All part of the plan. Because only in losing do real winners hone their skills at winning whereas real losers just feel normal. Winners never quit. And quitters never win. And winning quitters are like quitting winners: just more banana slugs on the Great Salt Flat with a blown head gasket.

You know who lost? The so- called leaders of this party lost. The ones who flopped faster than a French Soccer Team that had been surgically deboned. Who abandoned the good fight in the name of expediency. Who slept with the enemy and will have their heads shaved and be thrown into the street someday. Because there is no negotiating when you’re dealing with the terrorists calling themselves the Democratic Party.

Oh, don’t get us wrong, we are all in favor of compromise. As long as it’s the other side doing it. We have no intention of compromising because that would be abandoning our principles. They don’t have principles so it’s shouldn’t be a problem.

Have we learned our lesson? Yes, we have. We have learned we must fight harder. And never give in. Because repeatedly banging our heads against the wall makes it feel so good when we stop. So we must learn not to stop.

We do not fight because we think we can win. We do not fight because of ideology. We fight because… we like to fight. As do our constituents. You should see our town hall meetings. They look like a trauma center emergency room on a Saturday night after a pool hall happy hour featuring $2 shots of Jagermeister.

Now? We’re going to purge this party of poseurs and run with folks interested in representing the real America. You know, people exactly like us. You may accuse us of perfecting the circular firing squad. But the circular firing squad turns out to be very useful in eliminating marginal colleagues equipped with insufficient aim.

And yes, ‘this is going to happen again!’ It’s going to happen every single time purity comes face to face with evil. And the evil shall be primaried. And anybody who shakes hands with John Boehner or has been photographed hugging John McCain is fair game.

We have even perfected a test to determine whether you are conservative enough to be an actual Republican. We hold you under water for four minutes and if you don’t die, you are a RINO. Primitive and messy perhaps, but fits us to a Tea.”

Will Durst’s new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” in its final extension: through Dec 17 every Tuesday at the Marsh. San Francisco. themarsh.org
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VIDEO: Bobby Jindal and disrespect for transgender people all in one Sunday. Somebody talk me down.

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talk-me-down

It's time for Blood Pressure Crisis Sunday! Today's blood pressure crisis was brought on by a Meet the Press (surprise!) segment with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and a subsequent and unrelated MSNBC interview with a member of the military.

Frankly, I can't bring myself to re-watch the Jindal interview, so I'll post it without the usual transcript excerpts. If you can make it through the entire thing, you'll see why I was so exasperated:

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In short, Jindal did nothing but lie and exhibit his usual hypocrisy. He was asked a direct question about the state of the Republican party, but he refused to respond, instead going off on his usual "privatize and de-unionize" education speechifying, couching his argument in gauzier terms that the non-political junkie might misinterpret in his favor. His idea of the American Dream is a countrywide enforcement of the bigotry and corporate goals of the GOP-- or as he called it "the stupid party."

He also blamed President Obama for wanting to shut down the government. Seriously.

And said we have a deficit problem. Seriously.

chart maddow budget deficit 2013 shrinkingMemo to GOP: Federal deficit shrinking at surprising rate, long-term debt stabilized for next decade 

And in a Politico op-ed today, Jindal blamed racial inequality on minorities being too proud of their heritages

Did I mention that phony, self-serving, privatization-happy, voucher-school-loving creationist Bobby Jindal now most unpopular GOP governor in U.S.? Great choice of spokesperson, GOP. Way to go.

Following Meet the Press was Weekends with Alex Witt sans Alex Witt (I can't find the video). The host interviewed a member of the military (apologies for not catching his name, rank, and serial number, but I was listening from another room and popped in only long enough to scream at the Tee Vee Machine). They were discussing Chelsea Manning (formerly Bradley Manning) who was just sentenced to 35 years in prison and announced his intention to transition from male to female.

Putting aside the arguments over whether the military prison in Fort Leavenworth should accommodate her for now, I was struck by the blatant insensitivity and apparent bigotry of the guest. His attitude screamed, "Manning casually decided to be a girl on a whim, tough luck freak, now enjoy your time in the slammer."

No, "sir," actually Manning has long struggled with gender identity, identifies as female, and has "felt that way since childhood."

How about respecting that instead of belittling and willfully making false assumptions, "sir"? Even if he broke the law, he's still a human being. How about educating yourself instead of perpetuating ignorance and misinformation, "sir"?

The increasingly deteriorating discourse and dearth of challenges to what passes for informed commentary fed to viewing and listening audiences are not only infuriating, they're scary... and they are harmful to democracy.

blood pressure

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VIDEO-- Jeb Bush: "I don't think there's any Bush baggage at all... History will be kind to George W. Bush."

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jeb bush george bush

Jeb Bush on Fox News Sunday:

"I don't think there's any Bush baggage at all."

"I'm proud to be a Bush."

Nah, there's no Bush baggage. None at all.

Say, Jeb? Can you pick up Lines One through Four? Iraq, torture, terrible SCOTUS decisions, and the 9/11 attacks are calling. The rest of the baggage is on hold.

As for that "education reform" he speaks of, e-mails link the Jeb Bush foundation, corporations, ALEC, and education officials. Corporate funders benefit.

Here's more of that delusional Bush pride, this time on Meet the Press:

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Bush:

"My guess is that history will be kind to my brother. The further out you get from this and the more people compare his tenure to what's going on now, um I think history will be kind to George W. Bush."

Revisionist history, maybe. But "kind"? Really? Why? He wasn't exactly kind to us. Or the rest of the world, for that matter.

Of course, his little prediction is about as accurate as these were:

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."

"The war will last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months."

"I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency."

And finally, this post wouldn't be complete without some typically stale attempts at humor. Please proceed, Jeb B.:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Bush:

"Man, you guys are crack addicts. You really are obsessed with all this politics."

David Gregory:

"I've been called a lot of things --"

Bush:

"Marco Rubio is a great guy. Okay, heroin addicts. Is that better?"

laugh knee slapper

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PhotOH! Immajin wut a thret gun zelluts wud bee if thay kud spell!

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Via my pal Lu Cifer

Via my pal Lu Cifer

Illinois gun "enthusiasts" sent out an anti-Bloomberg, anti-Robin Kelly postcard...and managed to misspell both Debbie Halvorson's name and-- wait for it-- "February".

Here's an idea:

use spell check 2

use spell check

Imagine what would happen if gun zealots could spell! Thay kood beekum a reel thret:

gun nuts misspell Halvorson in postcard ad gun nuts misspell February in Halvorson postcard

The above images were sent to me in an email, and they come to us via @dkoselections. I edited them to highlight the errors and also added the arrows.

but wait there's moreThis photo comes by way of the Downtown Asheville Facebook page. I edited it down a little for size only, but the image is intact:

gun nut sign misspelled Via Downtown Asheville FB page

Yes, according to Very Dedicated to the Constitution Guy, we are to "suport" the right to "own bare arms"... according to the "Secont Ament." I'm relieved to hear that, since I own two bare arms, and even a bare the-rest-of-me.

Actually, the Second Amendment mentions a little something about a "well-regulated militia," presumably in uniform. A bare-armed militia would get plenty of laughs, but not much protection from the elements. And don't get me started on the chafing.

As a special added bonus I'm adding a few other choice examples of the genius behind right wing messaging:

secede texastea party misspelled sign2tea party misspelled sign

romney misspelled ad Amerciamisspell10misspell8misspell1

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Fox "News" [sic] ratings at 12-year low

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clusterfox

maddow o'reilly

Need a lift? Tired of all the political bickering? In the mood for a little upbeat news? Well, wait no more.

Ahem...

Fox News had its worst prime time TV ratings in twelve years, since back in 2001. HuffPo:

...Fox News had its worst prime time ratings in the coveted 25-54 demographic since August 2001, and its lowest total day ratings since June 2008.

There now, wasn't that fun?

but wait there's more

It gets better. Per Politico, The Rachel Maddow Show was the only non-Fox News program to enter the top 10:

And “The Rachel Maddow Show” topped CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight” this month, and also ranked number one among the 18-34 demo.

Yay

HuffPo:

...and if Maddow were to continue creeping up the list, it would mean a real sea change. Overall, MSNBC... was the only cable news channel to grow its ratings from 2012.

Poor Fox. On 3, let me hear as insincere an "Awwww" as you can muster up. Ready? 

1... 2... 3!

awwww

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Yep, still a pig, Reince Priebus

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lipstick on a pig

Taegan found this quote at Politico from RNC chair Reince Priebus:

"It's not the platform of the party that's the issue. In many cases, it's how we communicate about it."

No, it's both, Reince. Good communication techniques are helpful, but first you need a message or twelve that, you know, resonate, or down you go again.

Priebus is now channeling Karl Rove, who said to the GOP: Just don’t *sound* intolerant.

Mitt Romney famously said, “It would be helpful to be Latino.” So he, too, was hoping to appear to be someone voters could relate to, but had no intention of changing his message. Not really. Whatever that message was at the moment.

And Bobby Jindal said, “If we want people to like us, we have to like them first.”

Again, it’s one thing to be introspective and see the error of your ways. It’s quite another to do an abrupt 180 and pretend you care, hoping nobody will notice that you’re pandering your ass off.

Here's what I wrote back in November, responding to Rove's inanity:

So as long as you don’t sound intolerant (or racist, or bigoted), as long as you can pretend you’re one thing while believing another, as long as you put on a good show, you’ll dupe Americans into voting for you. Never mind genuine outreach, just say the right words, sell the right product, be extra careful to couch your disdain in prettier language and voila!

Superficial fixes will pave the way to big election wins if they’re wrapped up real purty with a big bow. Those ignorami will never catch on...

Yet Reince Priebus still believes if his party members use appealing wording and the right catch phrases, yet adhere to the same anti-women, anti-LGBT, anti-voter, anti-civil rights, anti-economic growth, anti-Medicare/Medicaid/Social Security, anti-postal service, anti-union, anti-middle class policies, America will magically fall in love with them and reward them at the ballot box.

The GOP has learned nothing.

They still have no foresight or grasp of the health of our planet and want to do away with the Environmental Protection Agency.

They still want to do away with unions.

They still want to do away with the middle class.

They still want to do away with the Democratic party.

They still want to do away with free speech and expression.

They still want to do away with human dignity.

They still want to do away with civility toward anyone who is not like them, meaning white and/or Christian.

They still want to do away with health care for anyone but the wealthiest AmericansEspecially women’s health care.

They still want to do away with allowing two people who love each other to marry each other.

They still want to do away with privacy and freedom of choice.

They still want to do away with taxes for the very wealthy, not to mention productive spending and job growth at the expense of the health and welfare of this country.

No rewording can do away with all that.

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