Archive for how can we miss you if you won’t go away?

VIDEO- The Big Rafael "Ted" Cruz "meh" on Dick Cheney shooting his friend: "Look, it happens."

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ted cruz steve king hunting

Ironically, Dick Cheney recently claimed Sen. Mike Enzi lied. Pot, kettle...

Even more ironically, Dick Cheney had a "major" gun malfunction during a charity hunting contest.

And who can forget that time back in 2006 when he shot his 78-year-old hunting pal, Harry Whittington, in the face?

Now even more ironically, Rafael "Ted" Cruz went hunting with his own little friend, Rep. Steve King, and made a few tasteless comments about the Cheney incident that he apparently thought were real knee-slappers. Yes, Raffy Cruz thinks Raffy Cruz is funny.

Cruz:

"Yeah, look, it happens."

Of course, King, not to be outclasslessed, said:

It "doesn't bother me a bit. The way I understood it, he was standing in the wrong place."

Can't get more compassionate than that, can you? Maybe Whittington should invite them on a hunting trip to express his gratitude.

Ted Cruz hunting AP Photo- Nati HarnikAP Photo/Nati Harnik

Now take a look at Raffy's stand-up routine. He strutted his tasteless stuff during a keynote address at a Defenders of Freedom event in Le Mars, Iowa. Don't forget to tip your server.

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Cruz:

"In the two weeks that followed [the Cheney shooting incident], there were over 200 calls to Texas Parks and Wildlife asking, how much for a license to shoot a Republican lawyer."

hahaha

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VIDEO: Oops! Dick Cheney had a "major" gun malfunction in charity hunting contest

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cheney whittington smaller78-year-old Texas attorney Harry Whittington and Cheney, who shot his pal  while participating in a 2006 quail hunt.

"He had a gun malfunction. But I think he is so excited and enjoyed this so much. He'll be back next year."

Wait. Cheney was "so excited and enjoyed" the malfunction? Oh, but I kid, but it is pretty much what one would expect to hear from a self-serving, dangerous, lying piece of WMD like... *Dick*.

Calm down, nobody got shot in the face... this time. At least Dick "Sharpshooter" Cheney didn't have a wardrobe malfunction, too (thank god), but his precious gun apparently failed him.

Via The Hill:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s gun malfunctioned before he could get a shot off at an antelope hunting contest in Wyoming on Sunday, according to a local ABC News affiliate. [...]

Cheney blamed “a small problem with the manufacturer.”

Cheney also blamed the September 11, 2001 attacks on Iraq. Next.

In the ABC News report, one of the captains of a competing team ribbed Cheney, saying that “the good news is that his gun didn’t work and nobody got hurt.”

How does the saying go again? Oh yeah: There are no jokes.

cheney cowboy hat

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John McCain: "I don’t want to be one of these old guys that should’ve shoved off.” Too late.

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overstay your welcome

John Sidney McCain is a 27-year veteran of the Senate. He's run for president and lost. He's gone from "maverick" to tea party suck-up to tea party critic and back to maverick. He inexplicably failed to thoroughly vet tea party darling Sarah Palin and chose her as his cringe-worthy running mate, apparently oblivious to her ineptitude and loonitude. He wants to bomb-bomb-bomb just about everyone, and has been a fixture for so long that his latest policy position pendulum swing is to actually legalize weed.

In other words, he's been around a long, long time and has committed the political crime of overkill, but somehow he's oblivious to that, too.

The Wrap did an interview with Grampy McCain, and The Hill has highlights. The Hill's headline is "McCain hints at retirement in 2016":

“The president and I, he's in his last term, I'm probably in mine, the relationship we have had over the past three years is quite good,” McCain told The Wrap in an interview. “Quite good."

The 77-year-old's current term is up in 2016. When asked if this would really be his last term, McCain backtracked a bit.

“Nah, I don’t know,” McCain said. “I was trying to make a point. I have to decide in about two years so I don’t have to make a decision. I don’t want to be one of these old guys that should’ve shoved off.”

Then he felt the need to clarify in a tweet:

mccain tweet reelection decision

So those rumors about McCain's impending retirement can be... retired. At least for now.

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Typically Sarah Palin: "Bomb Obamacare"

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palin cpac 2013

The following video is via SarahPAC.com:

The following idiotic tweet is via Former Half Gov ToneDeaf McHasBeen:

palin tweet obamacareLink

The following tweets are in response to the idiocy:

palin response tweets obamacare palin response tweets obamacare 2

The following is me, if I were male, bald, and shirtless:

face palm oy frustrated smaller

The following expresses what is going through all of our heads right now:

H/t: Taegan

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Even though she's retiring, Bachmann still fundraising on her campaign website saying Dems "trying to defeat her"

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bachmann close up smaller

Here is what you see if you click on Michele Bachmann's campaign's donation page:

bachmann donation page

Obama and the Democrats are targeting Michele for speaking out against their extreme liberal agenda. They will do, say and spend whatever it takes to defeat her.

Please make a secure online contribution today to help defend Michele and the conservative values we share!

That would be the same Michele Bachmann who said she won't run for re-election.

The very same Michele Bachmann who frequently finds herself in hot water (Can Michele pray this away? FEC fines Bachmann $8,000 for 2010 campaign finance violations).

Why does she still have her hand out? Targeting Michele for what? Getting into ethical and legal trouble? Embarrassing herself? Retiring? Being herself? Here's an idea, Michele: Stop drawing those bullseyes and we'll stop aiming.

Still, you never know what she's capable of; after all, there's always the Senate, right?

eek!

But with all the baggage she's lugging around, a Senate run seems unlikely... or does it?

Smart Politics:

Nearly two weeks after announcing she would not seek a 5th term from Minnesota's 6th Congressional District, Republican Michele Bachmann's congressional campaign website is still locked and loaded to take in money. [...]

Bachmann has not officially ruled out another campaign in the current 2014 cycle or beyond - recently telling FOX's Sean Hannity, "I may run for another public office."

However, since her retirement announcement, Representative Bachmann has not issued a tweet on her campaign Twitter account, a press release on her campaign web site, or a post on her campaign Facebook account.

How can we stop targeting you miss you if you won't go away?

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Weiner says he has a thick... skin

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stfu don't say anything

Anthony Weiner says he has a thick foreskin (bygones), per Politicker:

And while, in recent days, he has been largely able to avoid conversation of the lewd sexting scandal that forced him to resign two years, the topic was front-and-center Friday for hosts John Gambling and Mark Riley.

WWRL’s Mr. Riley asked Mr. Weiner whether he got mad over the all the Weiner jokes or seeing the word “disgraced” before his name in newspaper stories.

Frankly, if you don’t have a thick skin—and I’ve developed an almost rhinocerosly thick skin going through this process—then you probably shouldn’t put yourself up for office, particularly if you want to be mayor,” said Mr. Weiner. “I certainly understand completely, Mark, that people have some pretty tough things to say to me, and I’ve certainly seen them all.”

Do you know how much self discipline it takes to avoid writing (more) tasteless Weiner jokes? Do you?

zip mouth, bite tongue

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VIDEO: Jeb assumes George W. Bush has a mind, praises him for "not having an opinion on anything" in four years

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george bush jeb bush hug Photograph by Corbis

Photograph by Corbis

Jeb Bush, speaking to Jake Tapper about his failure of a brother:

"He is like the most focused, disciplined guy."

And by focused he means able to fool Americans, the press, and Congress members, start fraudulent wars, and kill thousands of American and Iraqis. And by disciplined he means somehow able to avoid prison time.

"To imagine being a former president and not having an opinion on anything over the last four years, really?"

And by not having an opinion, he means depending out his brother's spokespeople Dick Cheney, Condi Rice, and himself to opine for him.

"I mean, to have that discipline, to be respectful of the president that hasn't been as respectful of him as he should have been? Man, I could have never done that."

By making that statement, you haven't done that.

And by discipline, he means allowing others to do his dirty work. And by respectful he means W not getting in front of a mic and yelling, "HA! Yeah! Woo hoo! Awesome! What HE said!" every time they do.

By the way, I wish President Obama would have the discipline to prosecute Team Bush for war crimes.

"Everything he sets his mind to, he does, he wants to be good at..."

Key words: "Wants to be."

Assuming W even has a mind to set, there is very little, if anything, that he is actually good at... besides lying, I mean.

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