Archive for House Republicans

Conservative comedy: "So 20,000 illegals sneak into a bar..."

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I don't know how Garry Trudeau does it, day after day, week after week, year after year. But he does. He takes the best, funniest, most painfully effective swipes at those who deserve them. He does that better than just about anyone in the funny papers. He rarely misses. Trudeau, IMHO, is the Jon Stewart of comic strips, even when I don't agree with him, just as I sometimes disagree with Stewart. Today he hits his target... again. His Sunday "Doonesbury" skewers what he calls "conservative comedy", demonstrating what an oxymoron that phrase is.

And while spotlighting conservatives' substandard sense of funny, Trudeau manages to illuminate the sad fact that they still get laughs... inadvertently. Remember the ClusterFox epic fail at a Daily Show rip-off, "The 1/2 Hour News Hour"? Painful. We aren't laughing with them, we are laughing at them.

And while making that point, Trudeau makes an even bigger one. He calls out their bigotry and prejudice, whether it's aimed at "hippies" or "wetbacks." Considering the GOP House immigration bill fiasco, this episode's timing couldn't have been better. Say it with me: Gotta laugh or you cry.

Take it away, Mr. Trudeau:

doonesbury conservative comedy immigration

 

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"If irony were bananas, Boehner would be Brazil."

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priority fail gop fail boehner

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with John Boehner, the idiocy of the GOP and their embarrassing effort to achieve Impeachment Lite by way of an impotent lawsuit attempt. Take it away, Will:

PANDORA’S BOX OF WORMS

In a move less surprising than hot dogs at a ballgame, the House of Representatives voted Speaker John Boehner the authority to sue the President of the United States. This isn’t like a divorce, or a civil suit for money, it’s more of a restraining order. They want Obama to quit trying to resuscitate the government they’ve been working so hard to render unconscious.

On one hand, it’s a brilliant tactical move. Nobody can call them a Do-Nothing Congress anymore. “Do nothing? What are you talking about? We sued the President.” Many see the action as a stopgap measure to quiet the crazies on the right, who continue to demand nothing less than impeachment. And this is Impeachment Lite.

Problem is, they did it immediately before scurrying home on a five- week summer recess, so its not like a multitude of other accomplishments are destined to overwhelm this freakish folly in the near future. This being an important upcoming break, in which Congress will engage in the pivotal business of meeting with constituents and squeezing money out of them for their re-election. Does the term, “every last dime” have any meaning here?

The excuse given for the lawsuit is Obama illegally delayed the implementation of Obama Care. Seriously. That’s what he claims to be mad at. Not just the very same Obama Care the Speaker and his buddies tried to scuttle over half a hundred times. But the very same delayed implementation to Obama Care the Speaker and his buddies tried to pass. If irony were bananas, Boehner would be Brazil.

Obviously something had to be done. Getting way too close to the midterms to try and repeal Obama care anymore. Turns out people like it. Even the Tea Party has moved on, which is like saying the train fell over. Immigration reform is their new chew toy, which also went down in flames due to internecine warfare. National political gridlock is old hat: internal party gridlock is the coming thing.

To be honest, Democrats love this kind of talk. Their fervent hope is Boehner continues to contract heat prostration working on his tan. Nothing opens the spigot on the donation hose faster than GOP intransigence. It may be nothing more than a fund raising stunt but it works for everybody. Seems like the crazier the Speaker and his buddies get, the more money for the November elections. For both sides.

Makes a person wonder what’s next: is Boehner going to sue Sarah Palin for being reluctant to say ridiculous things? Take Mitt Romney to court for refusing to dominate the headlines the last 2 years? Charge the Supreme Court with voting along party lines too often?

There are so many things wrong with this move, you need a rubber spread sheet and an accountant on Thorazine to work them all out. By suing the Chief Executive, you’re not just opening any box of worms; you’re opening Pandora’s box of worms. Worms with Greek teeth. And venomous talons.

This could very well work as a template to screw things up in Congress for the history of eternity. Of course if the case does persist and follows the average speed of your normal federal lawsuit, it won’t see the light of day until much much later. Probably the middle of Hillary Clinton’s 2nd term.

Copyright ©2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about the new documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including his new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG.”

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Yawn: Weekly jobless claims slip... again. #BlameObama

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Fox Biz keeps bugging me with upbeat email alerts like the one below. And we all know that they are the single most reliable source of information in the entire world, so I pay attention to every word. Since I can't keep all the good news bottled up inside, especially on a day filled with very bad news (AP Reporting that Malaysian Air 777 Was "Shot Down" over Ukraine), I had to share. Again. Yawn. Yes, one more time, weekly jobless claims fell and nobody on cable news [sic] seems to have noticed. And if they did notice, they failed to report it to the rest of us.

Then again, since when as the news [sic] media performed up to expectations? And by expectations I mean standards that meet or surpass that of playing Telephone.

Here's the latest:

The number of Americans filing for first-time jobless benefits fell to 302,000 last week from an upwardly-revised 305,000 the week prior. Economists expected claims to rise to 310,000 from an initially-reported 304,000.

Seriously, if this keeps up, Republican impeachment and lawsuit efforts will start to look even more ludicrous than they already do.

Nonetheless, with jobless claims sliding, there's only one thing left to do. Say it with me now, everyone:

blame obama

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Anti-immigration protesters are afraid of children

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pro immigration protesters Murrieta CA

"Many of them are fleeing violence and extortion from gangs..."

And many of them have been raped:

“It’s not just the heat that could kill them but there are other dangers. Officials at Lackland Air Force Base told us that one-third of young girls that come across – and they were just like little babies; 10, 11, 14 years of age. That about one third of them get raped and/or abused on the way here.

"This is about the kids, that's what it's about."

"They're destroying our country."

"President Obama has called it a humanitarian crisis."

President Obama is right.

Here's an idea, protesters. If you don't like what's happening, call on Republicans in the House of Representatives to get off their obstructionist asses and support an immigration reform bill. It would likely pass... if they'd allow a vote, that is.  Actually, this could very well happen... after the November elections. That way those Republican paragons of bravery can say they accomplished something on immigration reform just in time for the next election cycle in 2016. How courageous of them.

By the way, Boehner, how's that Latino voter outreach shaping up?

But what struck me about this particular protest was the following. Via the Los Angeles Times:

Police said about 100 to 150 people met the buses a few blocks away from the Border Patrol station, chanting "Go home" and "We want to be safe."

The detainees — many of them women and children from Central America — had crossed the border in Texas recently and were flown to San Diego by the Department of Homeland Security.

I watched Tamron Hall's reporting on this today (video unavailable), and the person "on the ground" did indeed confirm that most of the immigrants were women and children. Ooo, scary. Better get out the firearms and hide the kids, protesters. After all, you "want to be safe."

anti immigration protesters CA Murrieta

statue of liberty give me your tired your poor

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