Archive for heartbroken

A Paddy K. is worth a thousand words

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Paddy eyes

As longtime readers of The Political Carnival know, our dear Paddy unexpectedly passed away last January. We've posted several reluctant good-byes and tributes to her, but none as visually comprehensive and effective as the one at this link.

A picture is worth .... well, you know, and at the link, you'll find beautiful reminders of one of my dearest friends and the best blog partner a crazed liberal woman could have. As painful as it's been without her, somehow we here at TPC have found our way back... thanks to lwdgrfx, Sher, Nicole, Amy, and all our very generous guest contributors, especially David, the Domikes, and KC Boyd.

Lwdgrfx has painstakingly assembled the loving photo tribute to Paddy (special thanks to her brother and TPC guest contributor Chris), and I encourage you to link over and see who we miss so very, very much. Paddy was a joy, a scamp, a tough cookie, a sweetheart, a curmudgeon, a softy, a brilliant commentator, and a loyal friend.

There isn't a day... an hour... that goes by that I don't think about her, tear up, and laugh over the cherished memories she created with me, with us.

So if you never knew Paddy, you missed a good one. And if you were lucky enough to encounter her in real life, or here at TPC, on Twitter, or on Facebook, these photos chronicling her all-too-short life will make it seem-- at least for a moment-- as if she were still here with us, cracking us up, being a wise ass, swatting trolls, and giving us a group hug.

i miss you 2

Paddy younger

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A special tribute and reluctant good-bye to our Paddy

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paddy laughing

UPDATE: Please remember Paddy by signing this guest book. The Political Carnival will not be adding any other posts today in honor of our dear sweet friend. We will resume regular posting tomorrow. Thank you.

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I apologize ahead of time for rambling through this good-bye to the best partner and friend anyone could have. I can't seem to form thoughts lately.

Paddy's wonderful brother Chris put together a loving collage of Paddy's life (below), and what a life she had. He had it enlarged to 18 x 24 inches, laminated and mounted for her funeral service today.

I cropped out the photo above, because to me, that is the mischievous, full of life Paddy I remember and love. But each and every photo in the collage represents something special in her all too short time with us, particularly the ones of her with her sweet husband Jeff.

For those who have been kind enough to ask, yes, the pain is still all-consuming, the tears still well up all day long, and the shock is still excruciatingly fresh, showing no signs of abating; but with time, we will get through this heart-rending time and be left with the best of memories.

We are all so lucky to have known Paddy Kraska. She was a fierce, loyal, passionate, smart-as-hell, talented, sensitive, caring, hilarious, loving friend and warrior.

I miss her so much. So much.

Anyone who knew her-- whether on line or personally-- does.

It's just not the same without my Padlock, not even close.

Rest in peace, dear Paddy. Give Scooby a hug for me.

PaddyCollagePostACRA huge thank you to Lucian (@lwdgrfx) and David (@linzack) for being so strong and keeping things moving as I crumbled.

A special thank you to Anne Laurie at Balloon Juice and to the beyond generous ajijaakwe over at DKos for her post, her huge heart and her continued help with fundraising.

And to every one of you who donated your love and/or what you could to help Paddy's family with today's reception, my heartfelt gratitude.

Thank you for letting me lean on all of you.

Most of all, thank you Paddy Kraska, for letting me in and always being there.

All my love,

Laffy

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For those who are only just finding out about Paddy's passing, here are links to previous posts:

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AUDIO: Paddy was my Lou Grant, income inequality was her *Newman

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you got spunk

I don't know what I'd do without Nicole Sandler, my dear friend as well as my radio host. I am on with her every Tuesday, and today she allowed Cliff Schecter and me to tell the world about our Paddy, and to bring a new awareness of the miserable conditions in which she lived.

Her death might have been prevented, and it's important to emphasize that income inequality aided and abetted in her untimely death. In case you missed it, the world's 85 richest have same wealth as 3.5 billion poorest.

Here is video of today's show in which we went into that in greater detail, along with a loving tribute to the best partner and friend a girl could have:

Below is audio of Paddy's July 2013 appearance on Nicole's show. Please remember Paddy always, and if you can, please click here to help her family with funeral arrangements:

Paddy:

"I am the Lou Grant to Laffy's Mary Tyler Moore."

To quote Mary, "Ohhhhhh, Paddy."

paddyscetch
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*Newman:

Newman was created as a counterpoint to the Jerry [Seinfeld] character, though the reason for their animosity is never revealed. Seinfeld once described Newman as Lex Luthor to his Superman.[2] Knight has described him as "pure evil"[3] ...

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Blog interrupted: Shell-shocked

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blog interrupted

First, the personal:

As most of our readers know by now, one of my best friends, and co-editor/publisher of the TPC blog site, recently passed away: R.I.P. Paddy.

Sitting here physically writing this post is an excruciating reminder of how different it feels to do that without my my friend, my other half, my partner in crime, my co-editor, my Paddy. It is so not business as usual, so not routine, so not what it's felt like for the past seven years to sit at my WordPress editing window and type, knowing she won't be there to bounce off of. It is strange, eery, uncharted territory, and it hurts more than I can even begin to say.

I'm at a total loss here. I've never felt so lost and sad. I've never lost a close friend before, and certainly not someone who I also worked hand-in-hand with, someone I depended on and spoke to every single day, someone who I shared so much with, both personally and professionally, someone who was as invested as I was in both friendship and work/political activism.

Paddy and I never met, but we knew each other really well. We were there for each other day and night. We covered for each other, hatched plans together, raised funds together, snarked together, went after political opponents and trolls together, loved mutual pals together, adored animals together, laughed together, cried together, and we protected each other.

Now there is a conspicuous void, I feel empty, small, cold, unprotected. I feel like Robert Redford in the middle of the ocean, watching myself sink, and don't know where to turn. It's wave after wave of being totally overwhelmed, unbelievably sad, lonely, and rudderless for the first time in my life.

I've received literally hundreds of sweet, supportive comments, tweets, emails, text messages, and online chats. Paddy was so clearly loved and will be so painfully missed by all of us. You all made that obvious, which was more comforting and appreciated than I can possibly express here. You are our virtual family.

So many friends have asked me to call them, to let them help me through this. I'm not even close to the point of being able to speak out loud about this without dissolving into tears, so great thanks to each and every one of you, but I simply cannot talk, not even to Lucian. But I am immensely grateful. Thank you. Thank you.

Yesterday I tried to get out, had lunch with a dear friend. We went to a clam shack in Malibu. The weather was perfect, sunny and warm, clear and blue. The ocean was sparkling, the dolphins were leaping out of the water, and I lasted less than an hour. I felt lightheaded and had to leave. So please understand if I don't answer every tweet, every call, every caring message. I can barely function, and yes, this is very unlike me. Too much has piled on lately. Thank you for your many, many kind expressions of concern, but I'm okay, I just need time.

Next, the logistical:

Paddy will be cremated and a short reception will be held on January 26 in her home town in Indiana. We are trying to arrange for a fundraiser here at TPC to help pay for expenses and ease the burden on Paddy's husband Jeff. As soon as we can organize the logistics, we will post a notice.

And speaking of logistics, the future of The Political Carnival is currently up in the air. Before Paddy passed away, I told her about an idea I had to shake up the look and direction of TPC, and she liked it. So did Lucian. So did every tech person I went to for help. There was a reason for the proposed changes: Apparently I'm suffering from "complicated grief" since my dad's passing, and my doctors wanted me to stop working altogether. I couldn't do that to Paddy, just abandon her and leave her with the huge responsibility of handling everything here, a major effort I assure you. So my solution was a change in format. If we can swing it technically, then we can continue. If not, then we need to rethink everything.

I just thought you'd like to know that. For now, I will likely post when I feel up to it. David is now employed, so I'm pretty much on my own.

What all this means to you: For now, no morning breaking news that Paddy would provide because, being in Indiana, she was up three hours before I was. By the time I got online, a lot of big stories were already out there; all I could do was comment on them. And because I was backing off drastically from writing (Remember, I was literally on outrage overload and had to cut back for health reasons), Paddy (and David when he could) held down the fort, as did Lucian behind the scenes.

Now, without a back east writing partner, all I can do is try to keep up. So, some kind of change is called for, and we're working on it as we speak. So I ask for your patience. My work ethic is giving me the guilts, but clearly my health must come first.

Finally, the political:

Chris Christie made a big show of how "heartbroken" he was. He needs to STFU. Gov. Christie, take a look at this blog post. This is what heartbroken looks like.

UPDATE: I've been told that Paddy did not collapse, but died in her sleep (probably due to her heart problems). I am very grateful and relieved that she did not suffer. Peace.

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