Today’s guest post is by our pal and regular TPC contributor, David Garber.
IT’S AWARD SEASON
Okay. Tonight’s the night. I have my copy of the 85th Academy Awards ballot in front of me and I’m about to make my predictions. Oh, wait, what’s this? Stuck to the back of my ballot is another one. Why it’s the 112th Congressional Fool awards or as it’s better known, The Jerkies. How’d that get there? Better yet, let’s see who’s made the cut.
Best Bonehead Quote of the Year. The Nominees are:
1. Todd Akin for “Legitimate Rape”
2. Mitt Romney for “The 47 % Solution”
3. The GOP for “You Didn’t Build that…” intentional misquote
4. Newt Gingrich for “We will have the first base on the moon.”
5. Eric Ferhnstrom: “It’s almost like an Etch-A-Sketch.”
2012 Idiot of the Year. The Nominees are:
1. John Boehner for insisting his name is pronounced ‘Baner’.
2. Mitch McConnell for still trying to make Obama a one term president.
3. Eric Cantor for trying to convince the GOP he’s not after Boehner’s SOTH position
4. Chief Justice Roberts for leading the SCOTUS into believeing corporations are people
5. Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell for signing the forced vaginal medical rape he calls an ultra sound test.
The Most Deserved Spanking of the Year Award”. The Nominees are:
1. The GOP led Congress for it’s obstructionism and anti-populist positions
2. The Democratic led Senate for cowardliness in settling on a handshake agreement on the flilibuster
3. The entire Congress for being scared poopless of the NRA
4. Rush Limbaugh for being Rush Limbaugh
5. Fox News for everything
Wow, that final category was pretty tough. They’re all so deserving. How do I choose? Wait, what’s this box I can check off over here:
Choice solutions for 2013: Best way to show our disgust with the current government:
1. Write/call your congress person and put them on notice that you’re watching them.
2. Attend political gatherings and speak up.
3. Educate yourself about the facts, not just accept what you hear on the TV faux news.
4. Speak out with your vote. Don’t take your eye off the ball and don’t let them take your vote away.
5. Dump the Chump — vote out all incumbents and replace them with new, responsive representation.
Boy, I better get my ballot filled out. This is really going to be a big award’s night. I can’t wait to see who wins.
Is the 113th Congress really nicknamed, “Django Unchainged?”
For the past 25 years, David Garber has been serving as the show runner and or writer on some of television’s biggest hits… Saved By The Bell, Power Rangers, 227, Bill Cosby Show and many other network series. His writing and producing have also netted David two very prestigious awards:the PRISM AWARD and the TV CRITICS AWARD – TV SPECIAL OF THE YEAR. Currently he’s authoring a short story series called “A Few Minutes With…”