Archive for gop primary

Cantor Eats Crow, brought to you by "the Redneck Taliban"

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cantor eats crow

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with Eric Cantor's stunningly humiliating defeat. Or as Will calls it, "feeding the beast that ends up devouring you." Speaking of devouring, with his usual snark, Durst does just that to the paraphrased headlines "Cantor Eats Crow." And speaking of eating, welcome to another episode of Republicans Eating Their Own. Take it away, Will:

CROW MEDIUM RARE

A massive Earthquake rolled through the Republican Establishment after Eric Cantor became the 1st sitting House Majority Leader to lose in a primary since, well… ever. Going back to 1899, the 19th Century. Back when Mugwumps bought buggy whips and the Emperor of Russian lunched with the Viceroy of India.

In terms of wake up calls for GOP incumbents, this elbow to the ribs from the right is the equivalent of having your alarm clock replaced by a battalion of Taiko drummers. In the hold of a container ship. With Marshall amps pinning the red and the reverb switched to infinity sustain.

GOP insiders offered a number of theories for the upset. Bad polling. Disconnection with base. Low voter turnout. Democrats in an open primary. Ambition the size of Montana. Didn’t get as many votes as the other guy. Butterfly ballots. Michelle Obama. The World Cup. Approaching El Nino.

But mostly: back when he was midwifing their birth in 2009, Cantor was considered very very Tea Party. Now, not so much. Classic case of feeding the beast that ends up devouring you. Kind of a Siegfried and Roy sort of thing. “Eric Cantor the RINO.” You got to admit: that’s pretty humorous. Like saying… Dick Cheney the Peacenik or Colonel Sanders the vegan.

Let this be a lesson to all squishy moderates out there: the Tea Party has the same tolerance for tolerance that SWAT teams have for swatting. The Redneck Taliban. Though responsible for scuttling the Boehner/ Obama Grand Bargain and fanning the flames of the government shutdown, Cantor might have read the word “compromise” in a book once. And that is unacceptable.

Don’t you get it? That anti- colonial socialist Obama is ruining the country and if you don’t think so, you don’t love America enough and can go back to Europe and eat crescent rolls on your 6 week vacation.

The man who would be Speaker lost his 7th District Virginia Congressional seat by 11 points to Dave Brat, a doctor of economics who teaches at Randolph- Macon College in Ashland Virginia, a private Methodist liberal arts college 92 miles from the US Capitol. And who, in November’s general election, will be facing a Democrat named Jack Trammell, a doctor who teaches sociology at Randolph- Macon College in Ashland Virginia. Guess you could call their upcoming debates a partial Randolph- Macon College faculty retreat.

The New York Times calculated Cantor spent more money at steakhouses than Brat raised for his whole campaign. But that is simply not true. Cantor only spent $168,000 at various DC meat palaces while Brat raised close to $200,000. So, the Congressman only spent 17/20th on scorched cow flesh compared to what Brat raised. The irony is, now, all Eric Cantor gets to eat is crow.

Of course Brat only used $123,000 of that two hundred grand in his campaign, which gets us to the Times claim, but that’s nitpicking. Nitpicking, being a grand Washington hobby, which Cantor might want to pick up, seeing as he has some unexpected free time on his hands.

Who knows what the future holds for John Boehner’s former go- to- guy. Cantor could become a lobbyist or a consultant. He might even want to write a paper on climate change. After all, who else could provide such a first hand eyewitness account… of hell freezing over?

Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about his new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG,” info about the documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including June 20 & 21 in Winters & San Rafael.

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Cantor defeat roundup: Meet Trammell, Brat-Worst

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Brat worst

The Eric Cantor defeat by Dave Brat-- aka BratWorst-- was truly stunning, very welcome, and yet a little disconcerting. Waving bye-bye to Cantor is absolutely deelish, but contemplating the likely election of another tea party whackadoodle is disturbing, to say the least. So fasten your seatbelts, Dems, because this is who Democrat Jack Trammell must defeat (Keyword: Must.):

On the other hand, there are definite perks. If only they didn't come at the expense of so many people who deserve a break:

Here are a few post-Cantor defeat links for you to chew on:

Rep. Eric Cantor will hold a press conference at 4:30 p.m. at the Capitol. The Virginia Republican is expected to step down as House Majority Leader a day after he was defeated in a GOP primary. Watch live: politico.com/live

You all know what to do, right?

vote  turnout  gotv

Please follow @Trammell4Va so he can beat the pants off BratWorst (not literally... because, ew!). And while you're at it, please consider donating here, at Act Blue.

jack trammell

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BREAKING: "It's over... Rep. Eric Cantor (R), has lost his primary"

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wow smaller

Say good night, Eric Cantor.

Good night, Eric Cantor:

everybody hates eric cantor smaller

UPDATE: Both AP and Rachel Maddow are confirming. No, this is not satire. Steve Kornacki: "This is the biggest upset I've ever seen in my life.... This is something nobody, I mean NOBODY, saw coming."

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Paul Broun (STFU-Ga) says Jesus will tell him where to go. So will we.

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atheist barbie v Paul Broun

Politico posted an interesting remark by Paul Broun (STFU-Ga), the wingiest of wingnuts from Georgia who just lost a primary election bid for a seat in the U.S. Senate. Did I say "interesting"? I meant grating.

Rep. Jack Kingston and businessman David Perdue will duke it out in a run-off. Then the winner will oppose Democrat Michelle Nunn in the general election.

What's that? You're not familiar with Paul Broun (scroll)? Allow me:

Both Kingston and Perdue are going after Broun for an endorsement. Gee, who wouldn't want someone as level-headed and rational as Broun vouching for him? In fact, Kingston wanted one up close and personal, requesting to "sit down and talk" to him. Here's what Paul Broun had to say about that:

Broun is willing to talk, but he’s not sure at the moment if he’ll endorse either candidate.

“I will sit down and talk with them,” Broun said Thursday. “I’m just trying to figure out right now where my lord Jesus Christ wants me to go and what he wants me to do.”

Which grated on me. Severely. Between Michele Bachmann hearing voices in her head directly from the Invisible Blue-Eyed White Man in the Sky, to Sarah Palin's confusing Roger Ailes with her god, to Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, and Rick Perry (among others) exploiting their version of god in their campaigns, and, well, don't even get me started on Mike HuckaPreach-- my atheist head is spinning.

Religion has no place in politics. The separation of church and state has been increasingly ignored in recent years, which is not only a threat to our crumbling democracy, it's offensive, and not just to me: Saying "prayers in the name of Jesus Christ before luncheons" made attendee "squirm."

That was in response to the Supreme Court decision finding that sectarian prayers in public meetings are constitutional.

Our public officials are supposed to represent everyone, not just those who believe what they believe. Religious discrimination, aggression, or exclusion are not what the Founding Fathers had in mind.

That aside, I personally find it annoying, disturbing, and/or obnoxious (depending on the circumstances) when politicians force their religion on an entire populace, gush faux Christisms as they hypocritically refuse to treat others as equals and with compassion, and publicly express their reliance on imaginary beings instead of good judgment, experience, and reason.

Enough with the holier than thou self-righteous b.s. Believe what you want to believe, but respect the rest of us enough to do so privately:

The Lord's Prayer:

"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 6"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. 7"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.…

separation of church and state Jefferson

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Afternoon-Evening Links

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links fire san diego

Image: Reuters

California wildfires in San Diego force evacuations

Crime Still Isn't Devouring Denver 4 Months After Legal Pot

It’s not the secular world that’s hyper-sexual

This GOP primary debate for Idaho governor is so bonkers, we don’t know where to start

‘Libtard’-hating ex-police chief is back with profane video rant and reality TV show deal

Turkish mine disaster: Unions hold protest strike

US fast food staff protests over wages spread globally

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Cartoons of the Day- Rand Paul and Plagiarism

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paulpla2

Mike Luckovich

Clay Bennett editorial cartoon

Clay Bennett

paulpla

Joel Pett

paulpla3

David Fitzsimmons

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VIDEO-- Mitch McConnell: "They want to take me out."

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mitch mcconnell make obama one term president

"This is not Bill Clinton. There's no indication [Obama's] moving to the political center. ... Obviously he wasn't my first choice, but he won. And I'm prepared to do things that I think are correct for the country, but it's going to require the president to move to the middle."

"Now, the reason you're here today is cause they want to take me out. This is the only race, as I indicated, in the country with any national significance. And that's why we're up and running this far in advance."

I wouldn't want to take Mitch McConnell out. No. Way. Well, maybe if he offered to pay for the meal and a really good wine, but ... Wait, hang on, I'm hearing something come through my imaginary ear piece. What's that? He's not talking about that kind of taking out?

Ohhh, got it. McConnell was referring to primary challenges, and a Democratic one, in an attempt to boot him out in the coming elections. My bad.

McConnell said as much at a gathering of about 60 supporters at his headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky. This was awfully amusing considering how clear he made his own intentions to take President Obama out:

karma police

Via The Hill:

And he balked at the idea of deep rifts in the Republican Party, charging that Democrats have just as many differences, but because "the Democratic Senate hadn't done anything," those differences have not yet been revealed.

Oh, there are rifts, Mitch. Trust us.

UPDATE-- Here's another one: Rove’s Move Into Republican Primaries Enrages Tea Party

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