Archive for gop losers

Cantor Eats Crow, brought to you by "the Redneck Taliban"


cantor eats crow

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with Eric Cantor's stunningly humiliating defeat. Or as Will calls it, "feeding the beast that ends up devouring you." Speaking of devouring, with his usual snark, Durst does just that to the paraphrased headlines "Cantor Eats Crow." And speaking of eating, welcome to another episode of Republicans Eating Their Own. Take it away, Will:


A massive Earthquake rolled through the Republican Establishment after Eric Cantor became the 1st sitting House Majority Leader to lose in a primary since, well… ever. Going back to 1899, the 19th Century. Back when Mugwumps bought buggy whips and the Emperor of Russian lunched with the Viceroy of India.

In terms of wake up calls for GOP incumbents, this elbow to the ribs from the right is the equivalent of having your alarm clock replaced by a battalion of Taiko drummers. In the hold of a container ship. With Marshall amps pinning the red and the reverb switched to infinity sustain.

GOP insiders offered a number of theories for the upset. Bad polling. Disconnection with base. Low voter turnout. Democrats in an open primary. Ambition the size of Montana. Didn’t get as many votes as the other guy. Butterfly ballots. Michelle Obama. The World Cup. Approaching El Nino.

But mostly: back when he was midwifing their birth in 2009, Cantor was considered very very Tea Party. Now, not so much. Classic case of feeding the beast that ends up devouring you. Kind of a Siegfried and Roy sort of thing. “Eric Cantor the RINO.” You got to admit: that’s pretty humorous. Like saying… Dick Cheney the Peacenik or Colonel Sanders the vegan.

Let this be a lesson to all squishy moderates out there: the Tea Party has the same tolerance for tolerance that SWAT teams have for swatting. The Redneck Taliban. Though responsible for scuttling the Boehner/ Obama Grand Bargain and fanning the flames of the government shutdown, Cantor might have read the word “compromise” in a book once. And that is unacceptable.

Don’t you get it? That anti- colonial socialist Obama is ruining the country and if you don’t think so, you don’t love America enough and can go back to Europe and eat crescent rolls on your 6 week vacation.

The man who would be Speaker lost his 7th District Virginia Congressional seat by 11 points to Dave Brat, a doctor of economics who teaches at Randolph- Macon College in Ashland Virginia, a private Methodist liberal arts college 92 miles from the US Capitol. And who, in November’s general election, will be facing a Democrat named Jack Trammell, a doctor who teaches sociology at Randolph- Macon College in Ashland Virginia. Guess you could call their upcoming debates a partial Randolph- Macon College faculty retreat.

The New York Times calculated Cantor spent more money at steakhouses than Brat raised for his whole campaign. But that is simply not true. Cantor only spent $168,000 at various DC meat palaces while Brat raised close to $200,000. So, the Congressman only spent 17/20th on scorched cow flesh compared to what Brat raised. The irony is, now, all Eric Cantor gets to eat is crow.

Of course Brat only used $123,000 of that two hundred grand in his campaign, which gets us to the Times claim, but that’s nitpicking. Nitpicking, being a grand Washington hobby, which Cantor might want to pick up, seeing as he has some unexpected free time on his hands.

Who knows what the future holds for John Boehner’s former go- to- guy. Cantor could become a lobbyist or a consultant. He might even want to write a paper on climate change. After all, who else could provide such a first hand eyewitness account… of hell freezing over?

Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to to find about more about his new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG,” info about the documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including June 20 & 21 in Winters & San Rafael.


Cantor defeat roundup: Meet Trammell, Brat-Worst


Brat worst

The Eric Cantor defeat by Dave Brat-- aka BratWorst-- was truly stunning, very welcome, and yet a little disconcerting. Waving bye-bye to Cantor is absolutely deelish, but contemplating the likely election of another tea party whackadoodle is disturbing, to say the least. So fasten your seatbelts, Dems, because this is who Democrat Jack Trammell must defeat (Keyword: Must.):

On the other hand, there are definite perks. If only they didn't come at the expense of so many people who deserve a break:

Here are a few post-Cantor defeat links for you to chew on:

Rep. Eric Cantor will hold a press conference at 4:30 p.m. at the Capitol. The Virginia Republican is expected to step down as House Majority Leader a day after he was defeated in a GOP primary. Watch live:

You all know what to do, right?

vote  turnout  gotv

Please follow @Trammell4Va so he can beat the pants off BratWorst (not literally... because, ew!). And while you're at it, please consider donating here, at Act Blue.

jack trammell


BREAKING: "It's over... Rep. Eric Cantor (R), has lost his primary"


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Say good night, Eric Cantor.

Good night, Eric Cantor:

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UPDATE: Both AP and Rachel Maddow are confirming. No, this is not satire. Steve Kornacki: "This is the biggest upset I've ever seen in my life.... This is something nobody, I mean NOBODY, saw coming."


GOP candidate for gov. has criminal record: Registered sex offender, manslaughter, rape attempt


gop disaster zone gop candidate

Who wouldn't vote for a GOP candidate for governor with a criminal record? After all, the "party of family values" has forgiven D.C. Madam client, Sen. David Vitter (R-LA),  for his sins, right? So why let a little attempted rape and voluntary manslaughter in a GOP candidate's past get in the way of stump speeches and fundraising fun? In fact, just such a guy recently spoke at the California state party's semi-annual convention.

So what if he spent years and years behind bars for his crimes? Meh. He's found the lord now, and in RepublicanLand, that's what really matters. All a party member has to do is mention the G word (no, not gun... God), and they expect forgiveness.

Meet Glenn Champ, 48, whose rap sheet reads like a pulp fiction novel. The Los Angeles Times has the story:

Champ's rap sheet is lengthy. Court records show that in 1992, he pleaded guilty to carrying a concealed firearm. In 1993, he was convicted of two counts of assault with intent to commit rape and as a result was placed on the state's sex-offender registry.

In March 1998, he accepted a plea deal on a charge of loitering to solicit a prostitute; later that year, he pleaded no contest to a voluntary manslaughter charge after hitting a man with his vehicle, for which he was sentenced to 12 years in state prison, according to court records... Champ said the assault case "was just for picking up some underage prostitutes" and resulted in a 90-day jail sentence.

But see, that's when Champ turned his life around, he says. "I found the Lord when I got arrested for picking up the prostitutes," he says.

"I was like most people, ignorant in the darkness, in the very dark. I had no peace, had no love, had no joy. And now I do. Praise God for that…. I've grown considerably since I met Christ," he says.

"There was a situation where the gentleman, he was a little bit drunk and was trying to get violent and I left the area as quick as I could and apparently he got in the way. I didn't see him or even know I hit him until about four hours later, till it came on the news," he says.

You know what else he says? This one'll slay you! (Or maybe Champ'll slay you, so keep your distance.) He says that the politicians in Sacramento are the "criminals" because they want to infringe on his gun rights.

No, I'm not kidding.

The California Criminal who was convicted of assault actually said that, and then this: "I know what the criminal mind thinks, and I know how it works and I know how to stop it, and that's something [other politicians] don't get."

What a Champ. Be proud, GOP, he's your guy.