Archive for Fvx News

Sean Hannity Inanity On Israeli Soil - What Could Go Wrong?

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I'm kind of feeling sympathetic to Israel today, His Excellency, Prince o' Fvx Nation, Sean wackadoo Hannity thought he ought to fly on over and see what he could do to escalate the Mideast conflict.

We don't want any country to represent us by Idjits without parallel, Republican war mongers, the Lipton Brigade or whatever Rand Paul thinks he's selling … so when I checked the Fvx Noise crowd yesterday I gaped at the sight of Hannity reporting live [and ever so dramatically] from Israel. Literally gaped, my mouth was gaping away for a good thirty seconds.

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Apologies as always for Morning Fvx, and your complimentary Orvis Waders and Method™ Troll Spray are by the entrance. Today you might need a TPC slicker from the mudroom, it's Raining Idjit Men.

I suspect when the president went after 'the Haters' last week, Hannity, Limpbaugh and Coulter had to have been on his mind.

Which brings us back to the outrageous fire-fanner, an egoist par excellence -- Sean Hannity. The Yeller. Dearly beloved of the GOP, particularly the Teabaggers and their heroes.

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Of course we have a large army of Christian soldiers who need to grasp Israel in their little hateful paws, they want Israel for the Rapture, BAD, I think it goes:

  • Sean Hannity In Over His Empty Head
  • The Religionists scream their holy heads off, preparing themselves for the upcoming Armageddon
  • Mormons are up ticking their posthumous acquisition of some 'lucky' Jewish souls
  • The Rapture is only open to the Chosen, and the chosen are an appalling herd of Jeebus sheeple

His Faux News story from inside the Gaza tunnels:

 
Followed by a look at smarm-king visiting an Israeli children's hospital. You might want to pinch a sedative from the Carnival guest closet. It's cringe cringe cringe-worthy.  


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Fvx Nation Is ON The Presidential Lack of Feck - even early of a Saturday

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They were abuzz with where to fixate blame first … on Obama's Leading From Behind, sanz feck, in the conservative-appropriated Israel and Gaza, or the situation in the Eastern Ukraine that has Hannity et al frothing at the mouth and getting John McCain, Grampy McBombBombs, to share his 'wisdom'; as we reported earlier, yesterday, and in past months, link here for the gamut.

Earlier today, at an ungodly hour, Huckabee expounded on Obama's lack of leadership and had the whole Ick Couch backing him up in a chorale of deck-bemoaning tut-tutting and pooh-poohing.

Poster courtesy our friend Mel Neuhaus, @acehanna54 on the Twitterz

Poster courtesy our friend Mel Neuhaus, @acehanna54 on the Twitterz. Click to enlarge.

Fvx is reporting that Obama is too busy getting manscaped with Putin to be interested, no feck in sight ... so the only debates are about whether he is failing worse in the Mideast or Eastern Ukraine.

 I just don't completely understand when liberals allowed Fox Nation to appropriate Israel -- was there a memo I missed? My blood family is too dull to be Jewish, but adult family/friends have filled in ... when did defending Israel become Fox Noise's and Limpbaugh's job?? Assisted by boobs like these:

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You have to be sympathetic to the people of Gaza, the regional tragedy ... it's heartbreaking, but the politics in the U.S. have given it such obscurifying and odious undertones, I struggle with knowing how to report on it.
I suspect it all goes to the creepy religionist appropriation of Their Holy Lands for either the Rapture, salacious future ownership or rights to the mythical lands beloved of Their God or could hypothetically contain some location where Jesus slept? It's going to be touristy, if they get their sick Final Days wishes. Shudder.

The Curvy Couch of Ick was fully loaded.

Hasselbeck, Tucker Carlson, The Goodly Governor Huckabee of the evening Fox Noise lineup for failed neo-con GOPpers rescued by Murdoch or Ailes.

Here's the audio, apologies for Fvxing you early.

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'Poking bears' was actually used by Huckabee in what he pitiably felt was a modern analogy.

When they added a Fvx Nation expert, Max Boot, it didn't improve.

For sanity purposes, allow me to add some Melissa Harris-Perry takes on the events that will bring your head back around to the front … and salve some understandable phobias.

And a more global look.

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Former W&CheneyCo National Guard Chief Warns Against Fox Hysteria at the Borders

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When WaPo is going the way of one of W and CheneyCo.'s erstwhile immigration strategists about the crisis on the borders, the Right has jumped the shark on crisis amplification.

Let Shark Week ensue.

President Obama has yet to visit the site of the humanitarian crisis we are all allegedly seeing through a distorted and divisive politician lens, the mainstream media with a liberal bent. Or, as we like to call it, reality.

Where Jon Stewart is asking Hillary Clinton the tough questions, getting the good answers and all of a sudden The Plum Line at The Washington Post (and no matter how much we love us some mustachioed Gene Robinson, they are still the right-tilted paper of record for the Beltway Bubble) calls out Fvx Nation and Governor Good Hair Perry and the frenzied-up masses.

There's less of an appetite for harsh No Amnesty rhetoric that you thought, eh GOP power rain-makers? Interesting.

From The Washington Post.

But in an interview today, the head of the National Guard under George W. Bush said he had not yet heard a clear rationale for sending in the Guard and suggested it might not be the appropriate response to the problems at the core of the current crisis, though he did say he could envision the Guard playing some sort of part in a broader solution.

So no need to send in the militias? Do proceed. You, H. Steven Blum, are actually someone qualified to speak about Katrina and that hardly ever happens.

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“Until mission requirements are clearly defined, it can’t be determined whether this is an appropriate use of the Guard in this particular case,” H. Steven Blum, who was the Chief of the National Guard Bureau from 2003 to 2009 and has been a career military man for decades, told me. “There may be many other organizations that might more appropriately be called upon. If you’re talking about search and rescue, maintaining the rule of law or restoring conditions back to normal after a natural disaster or a catastrophe, the Guard is superbly suited to that. I’m not so sure that what we’re dealing with in scope and causation right now would make it the ideal choice.”

Shut Up! No need to set our hair on fire and find rural causes and "bus lookout" posse meet-n'-greet-ups somewhere near a border to bring loaded guns and Tea Party wackadoo to this week? Hannity is going to be so dreadfully deflated.

And he pouts.

Last night he was primed and ready to incite. And he had Rudy Noun, Verb, 9-11 Guiliani riding shotgun.


Seriously? "An insecure border leads to terrorism?" Oh, Rudy. A New Yorker should just have more common sense than you display.

There is nothing sensible about Fvx News, and they plan to keep it that way.
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Fox Noise Champions A Blessed Proselytizing Kentucky Bank Teller - VIDEO

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Cartoon, Clay Bennett, The Chattanooga Times Free Press

Cartoon, Clay Bennett, The Chattanooga Times Free Press

 
I know, I'm a sadist. But someone has to slog over there and see what the asshattery is up to.

This had to be the Perfect Storm of a Religionist story for  the Godly Couch over at Fvx and Friends Sunday.

They were able to get their Tucker Bow Tie Sporting Prick Tucker manned Hysteria Periscope fixed on someone who was allegedly fired for just being a Blessed and Happy Christian. At work. [King of the Asshats award was won early, Jaysus.]

And … in their Beating Red Heartland. Kentucky. No Proselytizing

You're going to need your thigh-high Orvis Waders for this one, and a nose-plug might not be excessive.

Initially one flashes to Seinfeld's Kramer taking the bank To the Bank for misnoming a cash-gua-ran-teed fixed courtesy greeting. But that was fiction. This is Religionist solicitation in a very peculiar venue.

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Capitalism meets Born Again Solicitation. Neace said she not only goes to church on Sunday but lives her beliefs every day in Amurrika. Here's the Fox Noise treatment. Tighten those waders.

The Interview(!) ... because Of Course it's a religiousity freedom issue. Warned you about the Ick Level.

Cincinnati News, FOX19-WXIX TV

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Sadly, Fox Noise is alive and well and maintaining a hypothetical place in Reality. The blonde Fvx Sunday pundit sympathized in horror for about 90 seconds, then the couch of infamy got to the really red meat of the matter ... The Holy Teller, Polly Neace, had been loudly proselytizing from behind her wee window.

A customer -- somewhere in her hearing but not in her line or at her nameplate-- had taken Her Lord's name in vain in the Holy Teller's American-exceptional hearing! As she described, aggrieved lawyer adjacent, on Fvx and Friends around 6:15 EST live [shouldn't she be showering and baking for church, one might ponder?] ... that the profanity swooped across the lobby and went 'like a dagger through my heart!'

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The Teller was unable to halt the impulse of her Jesus Would Have Done It Self, and let the offending bank customer know in detail how the profanity-laced life was assuredly going to lead Straight To Hell {paraphrasey}.

We have all heard some oddities from bank tellers - but a Fire and Brimstone (with a Southern drawl and that Ice faux smile) solicitation when you are in an entirely different rope line?

Hell No.

Good on that bank for canning the Holier Than Thou teller. If she has a burning desire to recruit more Born Again folk to share The Rapture with, missionary work in Utah or Uganda is assuredly her best bet. She could Badger Away 24/7.

Have a Blessed day, Teller. Save the Salvation for after work hours.
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