Archive for dry mouth

Marco Rubio's water 'buttal: Innocent mistake or accidentally on purpose?


silly rabbit trix are for kids

Another guest post by our very own David Garber. Was Marco Rubio's water 'buttal lunge-- dun-dun- dun-n!-- calculated?

Innocent Mistake or Accidentally on Purpose?

rubio water SOTU response 2013

 Was it a gaffe? Was it a mistake? Or was it intentionally both?

Marco Rubio and his parched mouth, water-escape routine. Move over, Harry Houdini. Another illusionist has joined the fray.

Face it, the Florida senator's response to the SOTU speech was destined to be forgotten. And Rubio, forgotten with it. Last year it was Bobby Jindal. What's he doing these days aside from calling his party stupid? And next year, who's the unlucky loser they're going to hoist on his own petard? I say "his," because the Republicans don't trust women with their bodies, so how would they ever trust them with a reply to the State of the Union?

It seems that the GOP are looking for a candidate to face (most likely Hillary Clinton) in 2016. The jostling for position has already begun -- and Christie will have eaten himself to death by then. Jeb Bush won't run because of his family's past history with the Presidency, and the tea partiers won't be able to mount a general election-proof candidate. So it looks like Marco is their man, if they can make him famous.

Two ways to do that. He does something like heroic -- he saves a family from a burning house or he rescues a schoolroom of kids from a deranged, armed psycho. Or actually there are three ways. The third way is water. Poland water.

You give your perspective candidate a pulpit like the Republican clowns did this week and you turn him into a punchline. There isn't one show on TV that wasn't doing Rubio water bottle jokes within hours. There wasn't a blog that didn't carry a comment about him. Whammo. He went from nobody to... (please hold while I take a sip of water) lovable goofball. (A younger John McCain with a little Rick Santorum tossed in). From a stereotypical looking Republican male to HiJinx the Clown. And who doesn't like clowns unless you have coulrophobia? And there's less of them than there are tea party Muslims.

So then I got to thinking, is Marco really that unpolished of a rube or is this a shameless way to make him a household name. Bingo! That was it! Ingratiate him by making him the victim of a gaffe, let him laugh publicly at it and now you have yourself a candidate. This wasn't the crazy "Ooops" moment like Governor Rick Perry's. This was intentional. This was something the Republicans did on purpose. Pretty sneaky, you guys. This is how to make an overnight sensation out of an everyday dufus. Everyone loves a winner -- and almost everyone is compassionate about a victim. So how far a jump is it from victim to winner?

We're about to see. Hillary, better get the bees out of your bonnet. The vacay is about over. It's just about time for you to make some public appearances and then announce you're running. At that point Marco the Rube will be forced to play his hand -- the man who voted against women's protection and equal pay for the female gender of the species. Let's see him laugh himself out of that one. Can you hear the Kaleidoscope yet?

When are the Repubs going to learn, "Silly Wabbit, Trix are for kids."

For the past 25 years, David Garber has been serving as the show runner and or writer on some of television’s biggest hits… Saved By The Bell, Power Rangers, 227, Bill Cosby Show and many other network series. His writing and producing have also netted David two very prestigious awards:the PRISM AWARD and the TV CRITICS AWARD – TV SPECIAL OF THE YEAR. Currently he’s authoring a short story series called “A Few Minutes With…”


VIDEO: Rubio bragged, "I still live in the same working class neighborhood I grew up in." He's selling that house for $675K.


rubio water I'm you

A very thirsty Marco Rubio said this during his dry-mouthed response to President Obama's State of the Union speech:

"Mr. President, I still live in the same working class neighborhood I grew up in. My neighbors aren’t millionaires. They’re retirees who depend on Social Security and Medicare. They’re workers who have to get up early tomorrow morning and go to work to pay the bills. They’re immigrants, who came here because they were stuck in poverty in countries where the government dominated the economy."

Sorry, Marco, but your extremely sincere efforts to appear extremely sincere (did anyone else catch the pasted-on smile at the very end of his extremely sincere attempt at public speaking?) have failed as miserably as your extremely awkward water bottle lunge.

Rubio is selling his humble neighborhood home and moving to that dreaded liberal cesspool, that Insider's Club of elitists, that so not his home-sweet-'hood (fanfare!)... Washington D.C.

oh noes

Via HuffPo (where there are photos of the working class home he's selling, including the swimming pool):

Florida Senator Marco Rubio (R) is trying to move his family out of state.

As first reported by the Daily Caller, the GOP's brightest star has listed his 2,649-square-foot West Miami home for $675,000 -- money he'll use to relocate his wife and young children to Washington, D.C., if it sells. [...]

If Rubio gets his asking price, he'll make a nice chunk of change on the 4 bedroom, 3-and-a-half bath pool pad: records show he and wife Jeanette bought the place for $550,000 in 2005.

So much for being one of the people.


VIDEO-- Rubio didn't give us the only Moment of Hilarity on SOTU night: Pew! Pew! Award goes to "Gunslinger Tim Ryan"


rubio water KO tweetLink

Who needs late night comedy when we have Marco Rubio, and now-- ta daa!-- Tim Ryan:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic



Just when you thought Marco Rubio was the only unintentional attention-getter on State of the Union Night, along comes "Gunslinger Tim Ryan," the Democratic U.S. Representative for Ohio's 13th congressional district. Move over, Marco, our guy is cooler.

Pew! Pew! Take that, NRA!

but wait there's more

Via a pal of mine, Marco's Moment of Got Water? is immortalized as a GIF and has become the most memorable moment of his political career:

rubio water SOTU response 2013

This morning, Stephanie Miller quipped that Rubio will need even more water as climate change does its thing.  She actually said it better, but you get the idea.

Want more? Go to "Thirsty? Just add Rubio!" here!

And let's not forget the Video of Republican SOTU Rebuttal 2013: Supercut of Marco Rubio Dry Mouth Noises.

rubio water Ed tweetLink


Video- Republican SOTU Rebuttal 2013: Supercut of Marco Rubio Dry Mouth Noises


big gulp

Oh my lord, I snorted. I'm not sure he's ever going to live this down. Via Gawker.