Archive for Cliff Notes

Cliff Notes: "Gun insanity, my friends, this is where Florida really and truly excels."

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gun insanity defend myself cartoon

My dear friend and mentor, Cliff Schecter, has a new post up; Cliff has given me permission to share his work with you, so I’ll give you the latest edition of what I call Cliff Notes.

He skewers better than a chef at Smokey Joe’s BBQ. He has comedic insights that rival those of our mutual friend, the hilarious Lizz Winstead. He’s sharper than the point on Sarah Palin’s pin head.

Here are a few excerpts from his latest, with permission. Please read the whole thing, because he has way more than I’ve included here. It's about Florida and its Zombie Apocalypse gun insanity bill. 'Nuff said.

Here are bits and pieces that don't do it justice. Please, link over for the entire post:

Florida is what you might call a special place. There’s a reason why when you type “Why is Florida…” into the Google Machine, among the first options that pop up are “crazy” and “so crazy.”[...]

But gun insanity, my friends, this is where Florida really and truly excels. Whether it’s their pioneering effort in passing racist Stand Your Ground laws (Thanks to former Gov. Jeb Bush—The Smart One!—and pint-sized troll-cum-gun lobbyist Marion Hammer) or applying them to non-whites possessing the audacity to get their groove on while gassing or munching too loud on rainbow candy treats.

Their can-do spirit comes in the form of the disgruntled marching into a school-board meeting in Panama City and firing on the assembled members in an attempt to get his wife’s job back. Shooting a man for texting his babysitter from a movie theater. And returning a Glock pistol and assault rifle to a gentleman named Wayne Rogers, after he shot his “drinking buddy.” And killed him. Did I mention Rogers is blind?

For these reasons and many other infamous ones, you could call Florida the Grand Ole Opry of gun nuttery. [...]

Presently, the gun monster’s reared its ugly head in the form of an NRA-backed bill in the statehouse—HB 209—that seeks to allow anyone lacking a concealed carry permit to go ahead and ignore that whole permit thing during “riots” and other emergencies.... And just what constitutes an emergency that would put this law into effect? Nobody knows, least of all the sponsor of the bill , State Rep. Heather Fitzhagen (R-Fort Myers). [...]

The result is that those with actual experience dealing with criminals, such as Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri, respond like this: “To allow people to go into a riot while concealing a gun without a permit is the definition of insanity… The bill is crazy. It’s absurd.”[...]

[A]s we understood for most of our history in this country and Texas’ governor explained in 1893, the “mission of the concealed deadly weapon is murder. To check it is the duty of every self-respecting, law-abiding man.”

Please read the entire post at The Daily Beast, here.

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Senator Mitch McConnell A Chippendale Dancer

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males dancer club

Okay, I didn't say that. It was the reply by Kentucky Democratic senate candidate, Alison Lundergan Grimes. She's pissed, and she should be.

Her opponent, and everyone's least favorite senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell has been trying to link Grimes to being a cheerleading puppet of President Obama.  To that, Grimes was quoted: “Well, I am as much a cheerleader for President Obama as Sen. McConnell is a Chippendale dancer.”

Sorry Mitch, I work too hard for my dollar bills to go stuffing them into your G-(for government) string, not that I'd want to. Not interested in your junk. Seen enough of it on the floor of the senate when you were doing your obstruction dance.

Sexism is no stranger to Republican politics. And when you're dusting off the oldies and goldies, you can't veer from the GOP when it comes to insulting women. And Kentucky's senior senator has it down pat.

Desperation calls for contemptuous acts, or so reads the GOP playbook. When it was announced recently that Grimes has actually taken the lead in the Kentucky polls over the prune-faced McConnell, he took to the airwaves via Brad Dayspring, communications director for the National Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee. In his attack he called Grimes “an empty dress” in an interview with The Hill, published Wednesday.

Well, what's a sexist remark when you're such a macho guy like Senator Mitch, the Magic Mike of the upper house? It's to be expected, right? Someone who exudes manliness like he does is bound to be unjustly accused of sexism.

“Alison Lundergan Grimes seems incapable of articulating her own thoughts, and faced with questions, either directly parrots the talking points handed to her by [Sen.] Chuck Schumer or she babbles incoherently and stares blankly into the camera as though she’s a freshman in high school struggling to remember the CliffsNotes after forgetting to read her homework assignment,” Dayspring told The Hill.

cliff notes

I think Mitch and his mouthpiece Dayspring must have been shocked when that "high school girl" Lundergan shot back instead of going off and crying to the teacher that she's being picked on or bullied.

HUFFPO:

Grimes spokeswoman Charly Norton told The Huffington Post. "It shows his team's true feelings towards women and continues his disgraceful pattern of not standing up for the women of Kentucky. From misleading Kentuckians on his votes against the Violence Against Women Act, to voting against equal pay for equal work, Senator McConnell has failed to lead on issues important to women and their families."

Mitch, you voted against women on all those issues? What kind of thinking is that? Women make up 58% of Kentucky voters. Surely the Democrats must have your record wrong.

"The only surprising part of all this is the GOP’s continued unwillingness to understand that other women –- including Kentucky women -– can hear them when they say this stuff. It’s why women turned out in historic numbers for Democratic candidates last election, and it’s why we’ll see a repeat next November," said Jess McIntosh, communications director at EMILY's List, which endorsed Grimes.

Mitch, it's now that you tap the mic and ask, "Oh, is this thing on?"

old stripper

You've been caught once again with your pants down, Mr. Senate Minority leader. I guess it proves the old adage, "once a stripper, always a stripper." Go get 'em, "Muy Macho Mitch." That is what they call you at Chippendales, isn't it?

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Cliff Notes: Bipartisan-ship of fools in DC, where "being right-wing, malevolent, & wrong is an actual career advancement plan"

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bipartisan

My dear friend and mentor, Cliff Schecter, has a new post up; Cliff has given me permission to share his work with you, so I’ll give you the latest edition of what I call Cliff Notes.

He skewers better than a chef at Smokey Joe’s BBQ. He has comedic insights that rival those of our mutual friend, the hilarious Lizz Winstead. He’s sharper than the point on Sarah Palin’s pin head.

Here are a few excerpts from his latest, with permission. Please read the whole thing, because he has way more than I’ve included here. He explains why DC bipartisanship, as opposed to real outside the Beltway bipartisanship, should be taken to task for it's warped values and how it repeatedly fails us and promotes evil and stupid people, while ignoring important things.

It's a must-read. Here are bits and pieces that don't do it justice. Please, link over for the entire post:

Bipartisan is just so darn cool. It's hip! It's now! It's Rand Paul's talking filibuster [...]  Or, and I'm just thinking aloud here, perhaps when that word is uttered in Washington there is only once choice to be made: Run. 

Because you see, there is actually bipartisanship that makes sense. It is all over the US. It will tell you that over 90 percent of the American public thinks there should be a 3-minute background checks before you purchase a combat weapon that can dismember kindergarten-aged kids, that the minimum wage should surpass that of Heilongjiang Province and that marriage equality is a concept long overdue

But that is not the bipartisanship that exists in Washington... It's the variety that just gave us the 10-year anniversary of the tragedy in Iraq and rewarded Condoleezza Rice of the "smoking gun", "mushroom cloud" and "what does 'Bin Laden determined to attack in US' mean" with a new role as a political analyst on CBS - as if she can figure out day in and day out how to tie her shoes. 

That's bipartisanship DC style. It ignored Columbine, Virginia Tech, Aurora, Trayvon Martin and finally got around to thinking we have a gun problem after grotesque inaction reached its logical conclusion, with 20 six and seven year olds mowed down like cattle in their classroom. [...]

Spawn of the dead, Liz Cheney, is close buds with key DC media gatekeepers - so by all means let's have her on the Sunday shows even though she's a cretinous dolt whose father is so evil - he's literally burned through something like four hearts by now.  

A recent Sunday morning talk-show lineup resembled a chain gang, with Ralph Reed, onetime Jack Abramoff water boy, Tony Perkins... alongside the Ku Klux Klan and the NRA's Wayne LaPierre... Because being right-wing, malevolent and wrong is an actual career advancement plan in Washington!

Cliff Schecter is an author, pundit and public relations strategist whose firm Libertas, LLC handles media relations for political, corporate and non-profit clients. 

Follow him on Twitter: @CliffSchecter

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Cliff Notes: GOP has "pre-pubescent angst fueling vitriolic rage... Not a legislative or legal strategy. But it sure feels good."

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 fight

My dear friend and mentor, Cliff Schecter, has a new post up; Cliff has given me permission to share his work with you, so I’ll give you the latest edition of what I call Cliff Notes.

He skewers better than a chef at Smokey Joe’s BBQ. He has comedic insights that rival those of our mutual friend, the hilarious Lizz Winstead. He’s sharper than the point on Sarah Palin’s pin head.

Here are a few excerpts from his latest, with permission. Please read the whole thing, because he has way more than I’ve included here:

Praise be to Judge Antonin Scalia, for he sees what the rest of us do not. The man for whom nasty, brutish and short is not simply a political formulation, but a mirror image, can look at hundreds of years of slavery, 100 more of legalised segregation and another 50 of daily discrimination and see "racial entitlement" in the basic right to vote in America. I guess it's kind of like the right-wing-clown entitlement enjoyed by our current Supreme Court. [...]

Policy-wise, the GOP is an entity that literally lacks any new ideas, has no interest in governing, and has rejected all of its own policy positions [...]

You believe in global warming? Then they don't, dang it! You accept that human beings didn't ride saddleback on a brachiosaurus into the Battle of Little Bighorn? They have an App for that, the Creation Museum, where you can ride Noah's Ark with your friendly Triassic-period imperial walker. You offer them way-too-friendly a deal on the budget? Then as Cartman from South Park says, "screw you guys... I'm going home". 

The most potent example is the rise and fall of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie as conservative heartthrob. [...]

Meanwhile, Antonin Scalia seems to size up any crowd he's in and think to himself, what would a Morlock do? And then does it. [...]

The key to McCain, as I argued in my 2008 book The Real McCain (to the horror, the horror! of mainstream media back then... who these days have pretty much come to agree with this analysis) is that he legislates via anger. [...]

Whether calling his wife some really bad names, bum rushing fellow members of Congress or condescendingly and heartlessly lecturing a mother whose son was killed in the Aurora-Movie-Theatre massacre that he has "straight talk" for her, one thing you can count on is that McCain will bring the bitter with a healthy-helping of McNasty (his high school nickname). This is what allows him to survive his occasional maverick-ness on issues like immigration. Well, that and the fact he switches his positions every six years just in time for re-election. 

Pre-pubescent angst fueling vitriolic rage. Sure, it's not a legislative or legal strategy. But it sure feels good.

Cliff Schecter is an author, pundit and public relations strategist whose firm Libertas, LLC handles media relations for political, corporate and non-profit clients. 

Follow him on Twitter: @CliffSchecter

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Cliff Notes-- IOKIYAR: Republicans preach morality but do the opposite

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family values my ass

Via aaateeshirts.com

Via aaateeshirts.com

Recently I posted about hypocrite extraordinaire Pete Domenici, the former GOP senator who admitted to a secret affair and fathering a child outside marriage.

Which brings me to my dear friend and mentor, Cliff Schecter, who has a new post up; Cliff has given me permission to share his work with you, so I’ll give you the latest edition of what I call Cliff Notes.

He skewers better than a chef at Smokey Joe’s BBQ. He has comedic insights that rival those of our mutual friend, the hilarious Lizz Winstead. He’s sharper than the point on Sarah Palin’s pin head.

Here are a few excerpts from his latest, with permission. Please read the whole thing, because he has way more than I’ve included here:

Domenici is certainly not the first politician to suffer from "Strom Thurmond's Disease". ... Just another sad story of conservative hypocrisy, and in Thurmond's case, one of many dalliances with women not his wife for the "family values"-spouting, Lost Cause romantic.

This is not to say this kind of thing doesn't happen on the Democratic/liberal side... Yet, the difference is that like most Republicans, Domenici was abundantly concerned what was going on in our private lives if we were gay, a woman, or a President being impeached in the 1990s over an affair.  [...]

For kicks, here was his statement at the time, dripping with enough irony to quench even Marco Rubio's thirst. [...]

Truthfulness is the first pillar of good character in the Character Counts program of which I have been part of establishing in New Mexico... Guess which one of these pillars comes first? Trustworthiness. Trustworthiness... So what do I say to the children in my state when they ask, "Didn't the President lie? Doesn't that mean he isn't trustworthy? Then, Senator, why didn't the Senate punish him?"

Ooh, I have an answer! How about you tell the children of your state that if character counts, your life adds up to a goose egg? [...]

Frankly, the most important part of this affair is that it's another reminder of why the troupe of old men playing pajama dress up, known as the "Tea Party", are so perpetually angry. This is the way the world is supposed to exist... Old white guys thumping Bibles on weekends ... and doing the very things they warned us to avoid.

No longer do they get to just live in this world of white, male privilege, and it's a serious bummer. It's why you see Ted Nugent doing performance art for dementia, and more famous white guys from David Mamet to Rick Warren striking out with articles or tweets that make no sense in the real world. And let's not even get started on Pope Benedict.

These guys have to actually answer today for the ultimate form of elitism: their white male privilege of being able to tell us all how to behave while blithely ignoring the very same dictates. ... [W]e have the numbers at polling booths, and it's driving them bonkers.

IOKIYARIOKIYAR

opposite worldCliff Schecter is an author, pundit and public relations strategist whose firm Libertas, LLC handles media relations for political, corporate and non-profit clients. 

Follow him on Twitter: @CliffSchecter

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Fiscal Cliff Notes

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My dear friend and mentor, Cliff Schecter, has a new post up at HuffPo; hence, because Cliff has given me permission to share his work with you, I’ll give you the latest edition of what I call Cliff Notes.

He skewers better than a chef at Smokey Joe’s BBQ. He has comedic insights that rival those of our mutual friend, the hilarious Lizz Winstead. He’s sharper than the point on Sarah Palin’s pin head.

Here are a few excerpts from his latest, with permission. Please read the whole thing, because he has way more than I’ve included here:

[W]e're now forced to confront a band of enormously wealthy people who've benefited from - or bestowed upon others - large financial bailouts and ill-considered tax cuts who like lecturing Americans living on earned benefits about "shared sacrifice". As in, you give up a meal each day, and I'll give up a pair of yacht shoes! Deal? 

It is this truth that often goes unreported during discussions of our so-called "fiscal cliff" (besmirching my good name, I might add), a supposed doomsday scenario where the economy will turn into some sort of a combination of the prom scene from Carrie and Fox News' "1/2 Hour News Hour", if we don't all sing kumbaya by year's end.  [...]

As cognitive linguist Anat Shenker outlines in her enormously insightful book, Don't Buy It: The Trouble With Talking Nonsense About The Economy, the economy isn't a living, breathing thing. It can't be hurt. In fact, as Shenker says, the problem is that the debate is still often about "who loves the economy more, when it should be about people". 

Because, you see, people are actually hurt by layoffs, lack of health insurance and the austerity-police, or those plutocrats who'd consider it unclean to fly coach. [...]

Thankfully, there is reason for optimism, as a number of groups with whom I've worked closely, such as Social Security Works and USAction, have led a grassroots effort to point out who's leading the charge to starve grandma - while wearing their finest Italian suits. [...]

[R]oughly nine in 10 respondents don't want their Social Security or Medicare cut in any way. [...]

It seems the President is paying close attention to all this, with his much tougher bargaining stance so far, which is heartening.

Cliff Schecter is an author, pundit and public relations strategist whose firm Libertas, LLC handles media relations for political, corporate and non-profit clients. 

Follow him on Twitter: @CliffSchecter

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"The people of Ohio know who's on their side and who's a phony" & the phony is desperate Mitt Romney

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My dear friend and mentor, Cliff Schecter, has a new post up at HuffPo; hence, because Cliff has given me permission to share his work with you, I’ll give you the latest edition of what I call Cliff Notes.

He skewers better than a chef at Smokey Joe’s BBQ. He has comedic insights that rival those of our mutual friend, the hilarious Lizz Winstead. He’s sharper than the point on Sarah Palin’s pin head.

Here are a few excerpts from his latest, with permission. Please read the whole thing, because he has way more than I’ve included here:

This is not the besmirch anyone's analytical skills, but I think I can say as someone who grew up in New York City, lived in Washington, DC, and is now living in Ohio, there is only so much you can understand about how President Obama's successfully tapped into our current cultural zeitgeist without living here. 

Ohio has played an outsized role in this nation's history. There have been seven presidents from this state. [...]

In recent years, however, the state suffered from a manufacturing decline as ill-considered free trade deals, deregulation and other factors beyond the control of everyday Ohioans decimated the economy. The state saw its population fall, and with it its importance as an economic power and cultural force. [...]

...Ohioans, and white workers in particular, are not just looking for policies, but for someone who is on their side on an emotional level. 

For three key reasons, President Obama has become the candidate a disproportionate number of white-working-class Ohioans see as being planted firmly there. First, he enacted the auto bailout (result: the economy is rebounding here), while Mitt Romney was looking for a Bain-like arrangement where the auto industry would have crashed, with its parts auctioned off to China. [...]

This leads me to the second major factor, Mitt Romney's record-breaking career of getting rich off of destroying successful companies. ... Romney bought often thriving companies, saddled them with debt, paid himself and his country club pals obscene fees and then let the companies implode, taking with them the hopes, aspirations and healthcare of an untold number of American workers.  [...]

Finally, an assist must be given to Governor John Kasich of Ohio. Kasich was elected with the help of many union members in 2010, and especially police and firefighters, only to turn around and try to dismantle their collective-bargaining rights. [...]

The people of Ohio know who's on their side and who's a phony, and no amount of tax-shelter-supplied campaign funds will change that.

Cliff Schecter is an author, pundit and public relations strategist whose firm Libertas, LLC handles media relations for political, corporate and non-profit clients. 

Follow him on Twitter: @CliffSchecter

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