According to Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, equal opportunity is so important that when it comes to their children’s education, parents need a choice! Just like slaves did back in the day! Because, see, slavery was a choice. Umwhat?

Crazy Crawfish:

[U]nder Jindal’s guidance, Louisiana is encouraging voucher schools to open up and teach that slavery was just a choice, and not an entirely bad one.

“A few slave holders were undeniably cruel. Examples of slaves beaten to death were not common, neither were they unknown. The majority of slave holders treated their slaves well.”—United States History for Christian Schools, 2nd ed., Bob Jones University Press

This is just one of the “facts” being taught in voucher schools supported by taxes paid by everyone. Jindal seems to believe the greater sin is to curtail choice, than it is to allow the promotion of the idea that slavery wasn’t really that big of a deal, that if not for the actions of a few slave holders that beat and mistreated their slaves, slavery was generally a good thing.

Jindal’s voucher school supporters believe that owning people, another ace of people, was actually much ado about nothing. Sure, many slaves were raped, tortured, murdered and forced to work under in the burning sun every day until they died, their children sold and traded like pieces of furniture, and adults bred like animals to produce good livestock to be enslaved or sold to others. . .  but for the most part it was a good deal and if not for a few miscreants that mistreated their slaves it might well be a great idea to employ today.

Poor slavery! Always getting dissed as if it were a bad thing! What’s a parent to do?

Easy peasy! Just send the kiddies to places that teach otherwise and tell everyone else to stop messing with all those nice, wholesome, private voucher schools that you choose to choose. Public school with those icky unionized teachers who stick to– ew!– truth and accuracy are clearly inferior to the fine educators at the let-us-count-the-ways more desirable private institutions.

So make sure our young ‘uns learn from the best (and by best he means unregulated). Tell them they should be proud of our history of humans owning other humans! Life was so much better back then! After all, slaves were only beaten and raped once in awhile, and being separated from their families and moved around like chess pieces couldn’t have been all that bad. Hey, they got room and board, didn’t they?

And don’t get me started on their freedom to teach how swell the KKK is.

How libertyish and patriotic of them to allow kids to be pro-choice haters.

Please read the entire piece here.

And while you’re at it, check out my teen pal Zack Kopplin’s relentless efforts to fight creationism lessons in schools. He’s been making a name for himself for awhile now, trying to get America to just say NO to creationist vouchers.  He’ll be appearing on Real Time with Bill Maher next Friday.