Another guest post is by our pal and regular TPC contributor, David Garber:

I GOTTA CURE FOR THAT!

I love my DVR. I can watch my favorite shows and don’t need to sit through the commercials .. But last night was different. I had caught up on my viewing so I was forced to watch TV like most people — as it airs. And that means with the commercials… What caught my attention were all the ads for prescription medications — things we’re supposed to go and ask our doctor for even though we don’t know what these medications treat. They’re filled with shorthand like RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome), ED (erectile dysfunction) and CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome — products like Clariten, Allegra, and Zytrex — what the hell is all of this? And how come, in all these commercials, everyone’s cured, happy and dancing within 10 seconds?

The reason is they need the next 50 seconds to have a speed talking man rush through warnings that go something like this:

Do not take LIPITOR if you:

Are pregnant or think you may be pregnant, or are planning to become pregnant.

• Are breast feeding. LIPITOR can pass into your breast milk and may harm your baby

• Have liver problems or plan on having them

• Have muscle problems like weakness, tenderness, or pain that happen without a good reason, especially if you also have a fever or feel more tired than usual

• You have allergic reactions including swelling of the face, lips, tongue, and/or throat that may cause difficulty in breathing or swallowing, which may require treatment right away

• You experience nausea and vomiting

• You pass brown or dark-colored urine

• You feel more tired than usual

Medication may cause the following:

• Excessive bleeding,

• Unconsciousness,

• Irregular heart rhythms

• Temporary blindness

• Loss of feeling in your legs,

• Inability to forms words

• Paralysis

• Spontaneous combustion

• Temporary memory loss

• Your skin and whites of your eyes get yellow

• You have stomach pain

• You have an allergic skin reaction

• Diarrhea

• Upset stomach

• Muscle and joint pain

• Alterations in some laboratory tests

• And is some cases, Death has been known to occur.

WHAT? In certain cases it causes death? Why the hell take something that might kill you when the ailment probably won’t?!

So what are we non doctors supposed to do? Are we really going to go into our physicians office asking to be put on a specific medication?

You know what, the answer to that is yes. And that’s why we have so many of these commercials… PharmCo’s are making a killing on possibly killing us. Can we please stop this madness? Let our licensed physicians treat us, not our imaginations baxed on some fancy commercial where evidently everyone has full medical and prescription insurance coverage. Not a care in the world.

Let’s curtail the pill popping unless it’s truly necessary. Until you can get a medical degree just by being able to draw a picture like the one on a matchbook cover (remember those ads?) then stop targeting us for things we don’t understand, but could be easily be convinced to try — and then end up dead because of it.

Caution: Reading this blog can cause sudden episodes of reality and clear thinking. If these symptoms last longer than four hours, see a physician immediately. Extended exposure may cause a permanent cure to what ails you.

For the past 25 years, David Garber has been serving as the show runner and or writer on some of television’s biggest hits… Saved By The Bell, Power Rangers, 227, Bill Cosby Show and many other network series. His writing and producing have also netted David two very prestigious awards:the PRISM AWARD and the TV CRITICS AWARD – TV SPECIAL OF THE YEAR. Currently he’s authoring a short story series called “A Few Minutes With…”