NippleGate, aka Janet Jackson’s infamous Superbowl “wardrobe malfunction,” caused a huge uproar, an abundance of hand wringing, passing out on fainting couches, a surge in smelling salts and hand-fan sales, and outrage– outrage!– over such tawdritude being aired on the Tee Vee Machine.
Oh, and let’s not forget the upswing in lawyer employment. The Hill:
CBS has been involved in years of legal battles after it aired a split-second view of singer Janet Jackson’s partially exposed breast following a “wardrobe malfunction” during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show.
Which brings us to yesterday’s Superbowl win by the Baltimore Ravens. As I watched and heard Flacco’s spontaneous Moment of Sheer Ecstasy, I turned to Mr. Laffy, he turned to me, and we both cracked up and said something like, “Uh oh. They just caught him saying f**k on live television, right?” Right:
Immediately after the game ended, an exuberant Joe Flacco, the Baltimore Ravens’s quarterback, could be heard saying “f—ing awesome” to one of his teammates.
Well THAT didn’t sit well with the Parents Television Council at ALL. Harrumph! They are boiling mad! How DARE a deliriously happy Superbowl hero not think before he spoke? How DARE CBS let an impromptu expletive change the lives– forever– of thousands– no, MILLIONS– of unsuspecting children?! How DARE that momentary blur of a word make its way into our living rooms?! Time to for action! Again.
Of course, allowing our kids to watch and/or partake in the violent game of football, that’s fine and dandy. All those resulting brain injuries, they’re perfectly acceptable. Just as long as children aren’t exposed to *gasp!* a word.
But too late now. They’ve been corrupted. Clearly, kiddies everywhere will turn to lives of prostitution and icky video game-playing, of drugs and rock and roll, and worst of all, of instantly morphing into — dun-dun-dun-n!– liberals!
Yet this is hunky dory: