NippleGate, aka Janet Jackson's infamous Superbowl "wardrobe malfunction," caused a huge uproar, an abundance of hand wringing, passing out on fainting couches, a surge in smelling salts and hand-fan sales, and outrage-- outrage!-- over such tawdritude being aired on the Tee Vee Machine.
Oh, and let's not forget the upswing in lawyer employment. The Hill:
CBS has been involved in years of legal battles after it aired a split-second view of singer Janet Jackson's partially exposed breast following a "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show.
Which brings us to yesterday's Superbowl win by the Baltimore Ravens. As I watched and heard Flacco's spontaneous Moment of Sheer Ecstasy, I turned to Mr. Laffy, he turned to me, and we both cracked up and said something like, "Uh oh. They just caught him saying f**k on live television, right?" Right:
Immediately after the game ended, an exuberant Joe Flacco, the Baltimore Ravens's quarterback, could be heard saying "f---ing awesome" to one of his teammates.
Well THAT didn't sit well with the Parents Television Council at ALL. Harrumph! They are boiling mad! How DARE a deliriously happy Superbowl hero not think before he spoke? How DARE CBS let an impromptu expletive change the lives-- forever-- of thousands-- no, MILLIONS-- of unsuspecting children?! How DARE that momentary blur of a word make its way into our living rooms?! Time to for action! Again.
Of course, allowing our kids to watch and/or partake in the violent game of football, that's fine and dandy. All those resulting brain injuries, they're perfectly acceptable. Just as long as children aren't exposed to *gasp!* a word.
But too late now. They've been corrupted. Clearly, kiddies everywhere will turn to lives of prostitution and icky video game-playing, of drugs and rock and roll, and worst of all, of instantly morphing into -- dun-dun-dun-n!-- liberals!
Yet this is hunky dory: