Archive for awkward

POTUS-Hillary Moment of Hug like "Cain attending Abel’s funeral"

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close encounters POTUS

awkward POTUS moment

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst, who's having a little fun with POTUS and Hillary Clinton's Close Encounter of the Weird Kind. Take it away, Will:

TUMBLING DUMPSTERS

The meeting probably wasn’t as awkward as Cain attending Abel’s funeral. Closer to Anna Nicole walking past her husband’s family in court. Surely had a Billy Bob Thornton/ Brad Pitt- drunk at a wedding reception feel.

Talking about the recent encounter between President Barack Obama and the woman rummaging through his closet, trying on his Chief Executive mom jeans, and not getting a lot of encouragement in return; Queen of the formers… Watergate lawyer, First Lady, Senator, Secretary Hillary Clinton.

The two of them ran into each other at a lawn party at a golf club on Martha’s Vineyard the other evening. And what could be more proletariat that that? Lawn party. Golf club. Martha’s Vineyard. Think we’ve triangulated the 1% Trifecta here. All you need is imported truffle canapés, some commemorative swizzle sticks and pastel sweaters tied loosely around necks and voila… a royal raspberry reduction.

The source of the ungainliness was Ms. Clinton herself, who, in an interview with The Atlantic, characterized our Syrian policy as a disaster. Then said “’Don’t do stupid stuff’ is not an organizing principle.” Obviously referring to some past politician whose name is synonymous with shrub but also throwing the current President’s equivocal quote under the same wheels of that big bad bus.

She ain’t alone. Most of America thinks Obama’s foreign policy is like Malaysian Air frequent flyer miles. Sure, they both exist on paper, but nobody’s really all that interested in implementation. Anticipating the contretemps, her spokesperson said Hillary looked forward to “hugging it out” when she and POTUS met. Yeah. Bet she did. Like an emergency tracheotomy with a Bic pen.

Can’t you picture that embrace. Fade in: First Family seated. Hillbilly walking. Visual contact. Slight stutter step. Bill grins, shouts and waves. Hillary, Michelle and Barack summon courage from unfathomable depths to plaster on phony smiles. Everybody’s interior dialogue channeling Hamlet: “To hug or not to hug.”

Barack rises and in a stab at humor, throws his arms about an inch apart as if welcoming a cuddle. She laughs so coldly ice cubes crack, and bending at the waist touches her right shoulder to his right shoulder as they pat each other on the back. Once. The Presbyterian hug. As graceful as tumbling dumpsters. Fade out on the sound of more ice cracking.

As the past and the future of the Democratic Party, Barack and Hillary are eternally entwined. It’s like one of those relationships you see in Manhattan and San Francisco these days. Where neither person can afford to move out because both incomes are necessary to cover the rent. Velvet handcuffs.

The problem is, they’re the same person. Opposite spectrums: black- white- male- female. But the same ultimate political animal. Concussions are common when the smartest person in the room is forced to interact with the other smartest person in the room. Both dimly aware that throwing Bill & Michelle into the equation means one of them may actually be the 4th smartest person in the room.

She needs him to seamlessly insert her into his frictionless fundraising machine and he needs her to guarantee his legacy is not wiped out in a torrential Tea Party tsunami. The grudging mutual respect of the cobra and the mongoose. Strange Bedfellows indeed. Who needs a hug? Craaaaack.

Copyright © 2014, Will Durst. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about the new documentary film “3 Still Standing,” and a calendar guide to personal appearances including his new one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” which will appear at the Raven Theater in Windsor California Aug 22- 24. raventheater.org

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"Bridge Over Troubled Water" cut at 9/11 ceremony but nearly performed after #Christie speech

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chris christie bridgegate over troubled water 9-11 ceremony

First things first. The song "Bridge Over Troubled Water" was cut from the 9/11 museum ceremony because Idina Menzel got sick and had to cancel, not because of the political implications. However, had she been able to attend, she would have sung the song right after Chris "Bridgegate" Christie's speech.

That would have been awkward.

At the last minute, 9/11 widow and Broadway singer LaChanze was added to the line-up, and she sang “Amazing Grace” instead. If you saw her performance, you'll agree that it was exquisite. And inadvertently more tasteful.

But not nearly as ironic.

Can you even imagine the clips that would have aired 24/7 on every cable news talk show had Menzel been able to do her thing as planned?

For the sake of those who have been so tragically impacted directly (and indirectly), it's fortunate that "Bridge" wasn't part of the program. Had it been under different circumstances-- appropriate circumstances-- it would have made quite an impact for all the right reasons.

But this, of course, was not the time or place, so it all turned out for the best.

The Hill:

Organizers for the 9/11 memorial museum dedication ceremony on Thursday had to tweak the original program, which would have included a speech by Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.), followed by a performance of “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

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GOP woos the Jews: The Awkward Moments

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GOP woos the jews chris christie Sheldon Adelson Jeb Bush

Potential Republican 2016 presidential contenders went out of their way to woo the Jews yesterday, specifically billionaire Sheldon Adleson. The elitest of the elite (read: wealthiest) GOP donors showed up in Las Vegas at a Very Special Event. Members of the Republican Jewish Coalition were holding auditions, and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Ohio Governor John Kasich, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush were strutting their cringe-worthy stuff in one way or another.

Citizens United does it again: How to win buy friends politicians and influence people elections.

Being one of many Jews who would never open my wallet for any of those possible candidates, I tend to find humor in situations like these. And this time I found it courtesy of an article in the Los Angeles Times that included some of the more awkward moments.

Let's begin with how Gov. "Heartbroken" tried to shake off his Bridgegate scandal and how determined he was to rescue his damaged career by kissing Adeleson's ass bank account:

For Christie, Saturday's tryout showed the potential for missteps when governors wade into foreign policy at this early stage. During an otherwise warmly received speech, Christie's mention of a helicopter flight over "occupied territories" — terminology used by Israel's critics — during his trip to Israel sent murmurs and whispers of surprise through the conservative audience.

Oops, "murmurs and whispers of surprise" couldn't have done much to salvage his image. So much for Gov. "Who Moi?" and his efforts to restore some of the credibility he never had.

Scott Walker's anemic overtures to Jews whom he couldn't believably relate to at all went this way:

The candidates' attempts to connect with the audience appeared awkward at times. Walker emphasized that he decorates his house during the holidays with Christmas lights as well as a menorah candle. He also noted that his son's name, Matthew, means "gift from god" in Hebrew.

Via onamatopoeia.wordpress.com

You've heard of Christian Mingle? This "What Happens in Vegas Pays in Vegas Moment" was a little like Jewish Mingle. A speed dating version of courting a roomful of donors. John Kasich's version of flirtation was trying to ingratiate himself by flaunting his first-name basis palsy-walsitude with Sheldon:

Kasich, who had been sitting next to Adelson at the Saturday luncheon, addressed him by name repeatedly throughout his post-meal remarks, as if the conversation was one-on-one.

Allow me to address these opportunists by name: Chris, Scotty, John, Jeb, can we talk? Don't pretend you're BFF with obscenely wealthy Jews when you're not; don't try to impress Jews with embarrassing references to your trip to Israel; and pleaseohplease don't attempt to convince Jews that you, an Evangelical Christian, are "one of them" because your Christian kid's name happens to have a Hebrew origin or meaning.

Seriously, don't.

What next, asking Adelson if he's a Scorpio?

More here.

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That awkward moment when the TX Attorney General nearly disenfranchised himself

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karma police

Think Progress:

As early voting begins in Texas, the state’s new, strict voter ID law has thus far flagged a judge, gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis, and another state senator as potentially illegitimate voters. Attorney General Greg Abbott (R), voter ID’s most strident defender, was also flagged as a suspicious voter under his own law’s strict criteria.

On his license, his name is “Gregory Wayne Abbott,” but on his voter registration record he's “Greg Abbott.” How does it feel, "Greg"? Or is it "Gregory Wayne"? How do we know both of you are really you? How does Texas know you're not trying to cast fraudulent votes, hmm? Why should we trust you? Because you say we should? Because you're white and relatively well-off?

So Mr. Gregory Wayne Greg Abbott, do you like having your vote being suppressed? Oh wait, it wasn't. That's right. However:

People of color, low-income voters, seniors, and students are most likely to lack the required ID and may not have their votes counted as a result.

They may not be as high profile as Abbott, but their votes should count as much as his do.

Now let's find out why Gregory Greg Wayne GregGregory Abbott Abbott got off the hook, and who he owes, big time.

Per Burnt Orange, he has-- ta daa!-- Wendy Davis to thank:

However, thanks to Wendy Davis, Greg Abbott and others will still be allowed to vote because of an amendment Davis added to the Voter ID law which provides voters the opportunity to sign an affidavit to verify their identity. When the bill was being debated in 2011, the State Senator provided the amendment for voters whose names appeared slightly different on their ID than what was on the voter roll. Without the Davis amendment, the Voter ID Law would have pushed away even more already marginalized voters in droves. It also would have also turned away our State Attorney General, one of the most adamant supporters of the Voter ID law who is ready to spend millions of taxpayer funds to keep it in place.

Via onamatopoeia.wordpress.com

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VIDEO: David Gregory changes subject to save guest from Barney Frank's question on wealthy bankers' huge salaries

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tick tick tick bugs bunny

Happy fifth anniversary of the Wall Street Meltdown! Weeee! Could a financial crisis happen again? You bet.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Meet the Press host David Gregory came to the rescue of his own personal NBC damsel in distress, CNBC host Maria Bartiromo, who thinks Americans need to come down with collective amnesia and get past all the silly little antics of Wall Street.

Never mind the pain and suffering, the poverty, the GOP cutting programs that would keep people alive who can barely make ends meet and who were cut off at the wallet by those poor, put-upon Big Banks.

Instead, Gregory's priority was to swoop in and end the awkward silence and nervous giggling that followed Barney Frank's question, "Why are bankers paying themselves so much money?" The panelists who are oh so into Wall Street were suddenly oh so silent:

Maria Bartiromo: We need to get beyond the conversation of, Is Wall Street evil?" Are the bankers evil and causing pain? And toward the conversation of, how do you create sustainable economic growth? That will answer the issue of inequality. Because with growth comes jobs. [...]

Barney Frank: I do want to add one thing, though, to your question about those poor beleaguered bankers who have been forced to do so much to keep from not being able to pay their debts they can’t lend money. If they really are running businesses that are so stressed that they can’t do their basic work, why are they paying themselves so much money? Where did these enormous salaries come from if they were in fact in such serious trouble?

pregnant pause

Maria Bartiromo: (laughing) Thank you for giving me that one. Okay.

David Gregory: But your point is to get beyond — to get beyond some of the resentment of the bankers and get to a place where we actually have more hiring going on, more investment going on and Washington plays a more constructive role beyond whether it was the bailout of the banks which changed our politics.

Think Progress:

(Nevermind that the deregulation of the financial sector is a primary driver of inequality in the U.S.) [...]

It would have been interesting to hear Bartiromo’s response had Gregory not intervened to prevent anyone answering Frank’s question. Wall Street executive pay seems difficult to defend five years on from the crisis. It isn’t just that banker bonuses and bank profits have returned to or even surpassed pre-crisis highs. It’s that a third of the highest-paid executives of the past 20 years have been failures or frauds. It’s that companies routinely manipulate performance-based compensation schemes to effectively guarantee executive payouts. It’s that taxpayers subsidize payments in the form of stock, which also give executives incentive to the sorts of fraud and risk-taking that created the financial crisis.

Here is the entire segment:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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Told ya so! Ailes, Fox "have a lot more to fear from" fired Brian Lewis than Lewis does "from Ailes & his toadies."

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clusterfox

ClusterFox indeed.

I so called this one. In my post of a few days ago, "Fox News [sic] boots Executive VP, top strategist, Roger Ailes BFF Brian Lewis," I wrote:

Do we smell a future tell-all book deal?

No, no please... hold your applause. Well, if you insist.

As you may recall, Lewis was the communications chief and a top strategist for Fox who was kicked to the curb after an internal investigation. Apparently, his “conduct” was in question. That conduct related "to financial irregularities, as well as for multiple, material and significant breaches of his employment contract” per the Los Angeles Times.

He was also Roger Ailes’ trusted BFF for decades.

And now he's threatening to leak some gory details about his now-former BFF and, of course, Fox.

There may not be a book in the works-- yet -- but the fun is about to begin. Buckle up!

Politico:

In a new statement, Lewis's lawyer says that Ailes and Fox News should be fearful of what secrets Lewis may reveal now that he is no longer bound by a confidentiality agreement.

"First, Brian Lewis no longer has any confidentiality obligation to Newscorp or Roger Ailes because of the false and malicious statements made by Fox to date," Judd Burstein writes in a statement provided to Gawker, a website that has long been a thorn in Ailes's side. "Second, Roger Ailes and Newscorp have a lot more to fear from Brian Lewis telling the truth about them than Brian Lewis has to fear from Roger Ailes and his toadies telling lies about Brian Lewis."

This is going to be sooo good. Get out the popcorn. My treat!

get out the popcorn

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Fox News [sic] boots Executive VP, top strategist, Roger Ailes BFF Brian Lewis

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Via onamatopoeia.wordpress.com

Talk about a ClusterFox.

Executive Vice President Brian Lewis, the communications chief and a top strategist for Fox, was booted after an internal investigation. Apparently, his "conduct" was in question.

If that's the criterion, then Fox News [sic] itself should be booted.

But back to Lewis; if Fox can't trust their own Big Kahuna-- again, a top Fox TV communications strategist and Roger Ailes' trusted BFF for decades-- then who can they trust?

Let's ruminate on this new lack of faith among the powers-that-be at Fox for a second. ... ... ... Uh huh. Now they know how we feel.

Irony is yummy sometimes, isn't it?

Via the Los Angeles Times:

“After an extensive internal investigation of Brian Lewis' conduct by Fox News, it was determined that he should be terminated for cause, specifically for issues relating to financial irregularities, as well as for multiple, material and significant breaches of his employment contract," a spokesman for Fox News parent company 21st Century Fox said. [...]

A member of Fox News Chairman and Chief Executive Roger Ailes' inner circle for almost two decades, Lewis was one of the most powerful executives at the network. Not only did Lewis oversee the take-no-prisoners approach Fox News brought to dealing with the press and rival news outlets, he was also something of a consigliere to Ailes. [...]

While Fox News is part of a global media conglomerate, it is seen more as Ailes' fiefdom, and the exit of one of his top lieutenants caught other executives within 21st Century Fox off guard. Even 21st Century Fox Chief Executive Rupert Murdoch and Chief Operating Officer Chase Carey tend to take a hands-off approach when it comes to managing Ailes and Fox News.

Ex-BFF Brian was part of Ailes' original team when Fox News [sic] was launched in the mid-'90s. Do we smell a future tell-all book deal?

No further details were given about what this guy did, but it must have been a doozy to cause such an earthquake. Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch.

clusterfox

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