Archive for academy awards

Ellen Rocked It, Then Kimmel Slayed the Après Academy Live

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Image: The Today Show

Image: The Today Show

Written by guest contributor, "hardybear" of the wonderful Free Range Talk site:

Granted, Sunday started poorly. That thirsty piece of Florida flotsam, Marco Rubio, stentorianly re-declared the Cold War - - in what may have been an aria from "Frozen" --for the Tea Party Talent portion of his Pageant programming on NBC's MTP. [Tim Russert's deservedly bitter ghost snorted extra derisively.]

So fast forward to a glam evening in Holllly-wood.  Ellen was arguably epic. Sometimes I espouse spousal envy of Portia ... can you ponder the heights of domestic jocularity?  But if you couldn't let the night Party On until Jimmy Kimmel's 9th Annual Post Oscar Live Special for whatever reason, here's your fix. He baldly opened in bed with the aforementioned pair of brainy blondes.

The ensuingly black-tied Kimmel went on to nimbly interject his own categories of dramatically scored 'clips' in a hilarious parade of Youtubey parody trailers, with a roster of B.F.D. actors that would have had James Lipton calling for smelling salts. All of which are wicked hootworthy and available here.

Kevin Spacey charmed in spades as the sublimely urbane First Chair guest, see if you find his Carson impression as Academy level as the later Frank Underwood southuhn' sidebar asides.

Spacey was also a paws-down Kimmel Best Actor re-contender with his playful lead in "Meowadeaus". (Cracker Jack of a Cameo prize: Mandy Patinkin.)

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Academy Awards sequel: "Gravity: #Christie stars as huge disintigrating space station."

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academyawards

It's Academy Awards Day! Yippee! Welcome to my vice, my chocolate, my drug of choice, and my food binge all wrapped up in one self-congratulatory, gaudy, narcissistic, glitzy, decadent, glamorous, self-indulgent crazy fun package during which nobody is allowed to call, text, email, or interrupt me in any way whatsoever.

Yes, I'm a twelve-year-old fan girl. But what else would you expect from a former TV/stage actress/writer/director? I live for this stuff, despite the embarrassing amount of money and attention spent on stars who regularly receive an embarrassing amount of money and attention.

I am a Red Carpet addict in search of a meeting:

"I am Laffy and I am an Academy Awards-aholic."

"Hi Laffy!"

I gobble this stuff up the way the media eats up Hillary Clinton 2016 speculation. However, I don't give one damn about who is wearing whom, and I resent every swag bag handed out to 1%ers who need freebies the way John Boehner needs another drink.

I do find myself ogling, admiring, and critiquing the Botoxed, lifted, tucked stars morphing into mere shadows of their pre-altered selves; and I have no problem snarking about every minute of the festivities-- including the embarrassingly groveling interviewers-- with Mr. Laffy while guzzling wine from my Sippy Cup.

Did I mention how grateful I am for high def Tee Vee Machines? Say it with me now: I am an equal opportunity Academy Awards reveler in the good, the bad, the ugly, the glammy, and the inevitably awkward.

I laugh, I groan, I get misty-eyed, frustrated, angry, and triumphant for three-plus seemingly endless hours of long-winded self-promotion by the glitterati and ABC alike.

So I admit it, this is my one Very Special night to be as superficial, catty, annoyed, and appreciative as I want, and often bored. I own it without reservation. So there.

Which brings me to this excellent series of images by Steve Brodner. He calls the collection "This Year's Oscar Nominees Kickstart Next Year's Sequels." The following is but a taste of how beautifully he combined the world of politics with 2014's Best Picture nominees, so please go here for the rest:

Oscars and politics cartoon Academy Awards Chris Christie, Koch Brothers via Steve Brodner

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2014 Political Animal Awards- #Christie Big Shoes to Fill Award: WI Gov. Scott Walker

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awards red carpet

Another guest post by the one, the only Will Durst who's having a little fun with the annual Silly Season O' Awards, aka, the ever popular "Who are you wearing?" Moments of Superficiality. We here in Hollywood-adjacent areas and elsewhere refer to these awards events as "Why do even unemployed celebrities get free swag worth thousands while the rest of us unemployed slobs get eviction notices?"

But I digress. Will Durst offers us a mostly political version as only he can:

2014 POLITICAL ANIMAL AWARDS

For all those who have spent the last couple of months shoveling out a car, you should know we’re at the tail end of awards season. And best be advised to hunker in a bunker wearing a Kevlar overcoat, because gold plated statues are being tossed about like air kisses at a gown fitting. Like clouds of bathroom hair spray during Oscar Nominee Luncheons. Like jaded eyes at a press screening of Transformers 4.

We here at Durstco are not too proud to jump eyes wide shut headfirst onto the shiny awards bandwagon with a great flying leap and sticky squid tentacle sleeves to prevent overshooting. In our dubious presentations, eligible recipients are the phony, pompous and duplicitous. Elected officials predominate but anyone in the news qualifies as a nominee.

Finally, we’d like to thank our friends and family and everybody like us and us. And all you kids out there growing up different, trying to hang onto a dream. Because without dreams, you’re like a Rottweiler without a spleen. So now, running the risk of spraining a wrist patting ourselves on the back, here they are; the 2014 Political Animal Awards.

THE WE’LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN WE COME TO IT AWARD: Chris Christie.
BEST DISAPPEARING ACT: Mitt Romney.
WORST DISAPPEARING ACT: Bill Clinton.
THE CHRIS CHRISTIE BIG SHOES TO FILL AWARD: Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker.
THE LET’S ALL HOLD HANDS AND SING KUMBAYA AWARD: US President Barack Obama.
THE LET’S NOT ALL HOLD HANDS AND SING KUMBAYA AWARD: Russian President Vladimir Putin.
THE “OH GOD NO, NOT YOU AGAIN” AWARD: Ted Nugent.
THE THINKING THROUGH HIS WRONG BRAIN AWARD: French President Francois Hollande.
THE WHY WON’T ANYONE RETURN MY CALLS AWARD: Michele Bachmann.
THE DUMBER THAN HE LOOKS AWARD: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
THE NOT AS DUMB AS HIS HAIR LOOKS AWARD: Donald Trump. Again.
THE GROCERY SHOPPING WITH SALMAN RUSHDIE AWARD: Edward Snowden.
THE IF HE WAS A HORSE, THEY WOULD HAVE SHOT HIM 10 YEARS AGO AWARD: Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.
BEST MAKE OVER: The Vatican.
THE PIXIE DUST AWARD: a gift from we Baby Boomers to all the Gen Xers who start turning 50 next year.
THE WE ARE THE EVIL EMPIRE AWARD: The US Defense Department for using drone strikes on American citizens.
THE MOST EFFECTIVE SPOKESPERSON EVER FOR FAMILY PLANNING AWARD: Kim Jong Un.
PROOF THAT SOME SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG FOR A REASON AWARD: Justin Bieber.
THE MANNEQUINS R’ US LIFELIKE AWARD: Wresting it away from Al Gore, John Kerry.
MENSA’S SMARTEST MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD: Pussy Riot.
THE WON’T EVEN STEP FOOT IN AN OLIVE GARDEN AWARD: Amanda Knox.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN TECHNICOLOR: House Majority Leader John Boehner.
THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN AMERICA AWARD: For the 3rd year in a row… Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s doctor.
BEST ACTRESS: Hillary Clinton for her convincing portrayal of a woman unsure of her role in the 2016 Presidential race.
THE HEY GUYS. I’M STILL IN THE ROOM AWARD: Vice President Joe Biden.
THE YOUR FIFTEEN MINUTES WERE UP THIRTY MINUTES AGO AWARD: Anthony Weiner.
THE LEAST LIKELY TO WIN THE NAACP’S WOMAN OF THE YEAR AWARD AWARD: Megyn Kelly.
THE TED CRUZ MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD: Ted Cruz.

Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst.com to find about more about his new CD, “Elect to Laugh” and calendar of personal appearances.

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Can Someone Please Remove The Burr From WaPo Conservative Rubin's Rear?

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85th Annual Academy Awards - Show

As I've been working this morning, there's a few things I picked up just by reading headlines. One is that A.M.P.A.S. reached out to FLOTUS to ask her to present last night and that Harvey Weinstein facilitated it. So what's Jennifer Rubin's beef?


Why was Michelle Obama at the Oscars?

Um, (elbow) Jen? The main questions is "Why not?" and if that isn't good enough for you...

Laura Bush- The 74th Annual Academy Awards 2002 (TV special) Herself (taped)

Now granted it was taped as opposed to Mrs. Obama's live presentation, but I'm sure there are reasons for that. Of course, that wasn't her only beef-

She declared of the Best Picture nominees, “They reminded us that we can overcome any obstacle if we dig deep enough and fight hard enough and find the courage within ourselves.” Alas, none of the films nor her aides reminded her to mention the military, not those personnel behind her nor those serving overseas, an odd omission for the White House that nevertheless was pleased to have them arrayed behind her like, well, set decoration.

Alas, so sad that the woman does nothing for the military or troops. She is expected to flog the patriotism at every venue.

It is not enough that President Obama pops up at every sporting event in the nation. Now the first lady feels entitled, with military personnel as props, to intrude on other forms of entertaining (this time for the benefit of the Hollywood glitterati who so lavishly paid for her husband’s election). I’m sure the left will holler that once again conservatives are being grouchy and have it in for the Obamas. Seriously, if they really had their president’s interests at heart, they’d steer away from encouraging these celebrity appearances. It makes both the president and the first lady seem small and grasping.

Yep, GWB never attended any sports events when he was President.

bushfootball

Careful with the use of that word "entitled" Jen. And if we're talking "small and grasping", I don't think it's the President and First Lady that look that way. The Washington Post could find a much better columnist.

In this case, it was just downright weird.

Speaking of weird television appearances.

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Video- MIchelle Obama Presents Best Film Award at the Oscars 2013

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This the best I could do since it seems A.M.P.A.S. has snagged any copies from YouTube and the White House hasn't put one out yet. Updated with a better one from Hollywood Reporter.

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The 112th Congressional Fool awards or as it's better known, The Jerkies

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award goes to

Today’s guest post is by our pal and regular TPC contributor, David Garber.

IT'S AWARD SEASON

Okay. Tonight's the night. I have my copy of the 85th Academy Awards ballot in front of me and I'm about to make my predictions. Oh, wait, what's this? Stuck to the back of my ballot is another one. Why it's the 112th Congressional Fool awards or as it's better known, The Jerkies. How'd that get there? Better yet, let's see who's made the cut.

Best Bonehead Quote of the Year. The Nominees are:

1. Todd Akin for "Legitimate Rape"
2. Mitt Romney for "The 47 % Solution"
3. The GOP for "You Didn't Build that..." intentional misquote
4. Newt Gingrich for "We will have the first base on the moon."
5. Eric Ferhnstrom: "It's almost like an Etch-A-Sketch."

2012 Idiot of the Year. The Nominees are:

1. John Boehner for insisting his name is pronounced 'Baner'.
2. Mitch McConnell for still trying to make Obama a one term president.
3. Eric Cantor for trying to convince the GOP he's not after Boehner's SOTH position
4. Chief Justice Roberts for leading the SCOTUS into believeing corporations are people
5. Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell for signing the forced vaginal medical rape he calls an ultra sound test.

The Most Deserved Spanking of the Year Award". The Nominees are:

1. The GOP led Congress for it's obstructionism and anti-populist positions
2. The Democratic led Senate for cowardliness in settling on a handshake agreement on the flilibuster
3. The entire Congress for being scared poopless of the NRA
4. Rush Limbaugh for being Rush Limbaugh
5. Fox News for everything

Wow, that final category was pretty tough. They're all so deserving. How do I choose? Wait, what's this box I can check off over here:

Choice solutions for 2013: Best way to show our disgust with the current government:

1. Write/call your congress person and put them on notice that you're watching them.
2. Attend political gatherings and speak up.
3. Educate yourself about the facts, not just accept what you hear on the TV faux news.
4. Speak out with your vote. Don't take your eye off the ball and don't let them take your vote away.
5. Dump the Chump -- vote out all incumbents and replace them with new, responsive representation.

Boy, I better get my ballot filled out. This is really going to be a big award's night. I can't wait to see who wins.

Is the 113th Congress really nicknamed, "Django Unchainged?"

For the past 25 years, David Garber has been serving as the show runner and or writer on some of television’s biggest hits… Saved By The Bell, Power Rangers, 227, Bill Cosby Show and many other network series. His writing and producing have also netted David two very prestigious awards:the PRISM AWARD and the TV CRITICS AWARD – TV SPECIAL OF THE YEAR. Currently he’s authoring a short story series called “A Few Minutes With…”

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Video Mid Day Distraction- Behind The Scenes At The 1976 Academy Awards

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This would be about the last time I paid attention. Via Gawker.

PS-
If you want to share this vid, you have to go here or put it in full screen and beat the crap out of the youtube link at the bottom. I was not going to let this pos beat me.

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