Archive for 2013 political agenda

Scarborough Fires Up New Fake Hillary Scandal, Mika and Halperin Pour Gas

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There's been this Hillary Clinton story running quietly under the radar for a few weeks, and I had really hoped not to report on it - because it's from 1975, and it's bad enough that we are going to have to re-litigate the Entire Nineties between now and the Big Dance in 2016.

I respect Ezra Klein, and what he is doing over at Vox. He'd baited a good hook in June for this story, I'm thinking Ezra makes fly-fishing sparklers for a hobby … but Hillary didn't bite until the 4th of July. The Vox article is here, and the rather damning audio that you might be hearing Over and Over and Over for a while.

Morning Schmoe poured some kerosene and tried to strike a match.

The Twitterz got slimed:

Even if you are Hillary's Biggest Fan and think she can do no wrong, it is cringe-worthy audio, there's no way around it. She was young, had no idea she was anywhere near a hot mic, and was recorder laughing about a rapist's lie detector test. That can't be made pretty.

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But it can be deescalated. But it should be stopped in its tracks as the Next Great Hope for 1600 Pennsylvania Ever Agin' of the GOP, with New Tea and Koch backing.

Limpbaugh, Hannity, Rove, Dick Morris … they all lie in wait. To trash, burn and pretty much annihilate former FLOTUS/Senator/Presidential Candidate/Secretary Hillary long before she even announces a 2016 run. [They think they have a Bush in their hands, right? Like a pathetic ace up their Old White Imperialist Koched Up sleeves. Balderdash.]

Morning Mika and Schmoe pounced on the opportunity for some Clinton Bashing. And a Hate Radio voice was right there to harmonize, an " @SteveMTalk " … a look at his Tweeter feed and Breitbart loyalties would indicate that this is Right Wing Nut Job with Schmoe's ear.

Ezra's interview, above, in the live opening hour was kind of Enh. Young Sam Stein didn't ever get terribly exorcised. I'm just about to relax and maybe have a cup of Earl Grey if the hubs would take my text … and damned if Joe doesn't pop back up and Halperin is Tweeting ...

… and Oh My GOD There's A New Clinton Hysteria Moment. Mika had a fifth of vodka at hand, that went flying onto the fire within seconds.

There's a little bit of [honestly: regrettable and unfortunate for all] audio from Arkansas in 1975, you see, where then public defender Clinton was trying to get a child rapist off at trial - a case she has repeatedly said she was obligated to do.

However. A NY Times take on the matter included the detail that Clinton allegedly 'took the case as a favor' from someone at that time, because the client had requested a female attorney. That was brought up as some kind of condemnation when Schmoe and Mika brought the story back to the front of the line after the 8:30 schmutz.

Ezra Klein had misspoken, the girl was 12 rather than 15 … the young woman who had so tragically been raped by the man Clinton was assigned to defend as a public, Legal Aid type of attorney she was in 1975. In her Twenties. Which she reiterated on July 4th, catch the somewhat stilted response in the messnbc video, above.

"Well, now," bloviated Joe, "That completely changes the Conversation", his eyes light up, Mika's eyes are already burning with that odd Clinton Derangement à La Mika only she seems to possess, and Mark Halperin clearly has a woody under that table and has already Tweeted his self-ordained truth on the topic.

Don't let them have this one, fellow liberals. Because if Morning Joe is selling it, Fvx Nation will be buying it by prime time and then Fireworks and Finale on getting the 1975 story to stick to Hillary this early.

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Pink-Hoodie Joe even used his 'What did we learn today?' pithy moment to bring the headline back - he's going to be running with this one, folks. And Mika already has a Loaded-for-Hillary shotgun.

The woman's book tour has had its share of in artful moments, and this may be filed as one of those awkward Hillary shudder numbers.

But if we allow Joe Scarborough and Mark Halperin to Change This Conversation - we should turn in our Atheist Pinko Commie Kenyan Soshulist Heathen Cards.

 

Our friend Mel Neuhaus, @acehanna54 had the perfect artwork for this gaggle, huge thanks for sharing, Mel.

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Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2013 in no way to be confused with Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2013

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Today’s guest post by the one, the only, Will Durst:

THE TOP TEN COMEDIC NEWS STORIES OF 2013

Be still your beating hearts. As we exultantly find ourselves in this festive place once again. The most wonderful time of the year. When squealing children race home from school to check and recheck their favorite news websites. Husbands and wives fight for possession of the living room tablet. Grandparents double up on their meds. Relax, everybody. It’s finally here. Yes, you may consider the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2013 officially released.

Some years make it darn near impossible from which to strain a few meager laughs. As amusing as a broken crutch on the edge of a toxic waste dump. But enough about Detroit. Because in terms of funny comedy humor, this year was lush and fecund like a tropical rain forest. Horsemeat discovered to be a major component of IKEA’s meatballs. And the teachable moment here could be not to look to Swedish furniture manufacturers for our nutritional needs.

It is pivotal to understand that the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2013 are in no way to be confused with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2013. No. No. No. They are as different as soy beans and lug nuts. Bluetooth and dental floss. Palm fronds and those weird cone- shaped collars that dogs wear to keep from chewing their butts.

These are the stories and events of the year thus far, that most lent themselves to mocking and scoffing and taunting as determined by the executive council of the Comics, Clowns, Jesters & Satirists Union. Which, as you probably have already guessed, is… me.

Number 10. The President becomes a lame duck four months into his second term. Beyond lame duck. More of a quadriplegic platypus. Barack Obama Leadership Skills. Like saying Fukushima sushi. Paula Deen at the Apollo.
9. Former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner attempts a comeback. And he proves once again that his name is also the source of most of his problems.
8. Pope Francis turns out to be a liberal Democrat while Pope Benedict stays busy updating his Christian Mingle profile.
7. To escape government persecution, world class leaker Edward Snowden runs first to China and then to Russia. Which is like joining the army because “you’re tired of people telling you what to do.”
6. Ted Cruz rallies fellow Tea Partiers by reading Green Eggs & Ham on the floor of the Senate, then misinterprets the moral of a book aimed at kindergarteners.
5. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admits using crack during “one of his drunken stupors.” Yes, plural. Subsequently sees his approval rating shoot up 5 points. Not saying Obama should replicate this strategy, but if the big fat shoe fits…
4. Spying revelations shock America. Turns out the only way to keep the NSA from following our every move, is by becoming one of their employees.
3. Dennis Rodman becomes a roving ambassador. Ambassador Worm. What’s next- Mike Tyson, Poet Laureate. Kim Kardashian, Molecular Chemistry Consultant. Tim Tebow, NFL QB.
2. Government shutdown. America comes excruciatingly close to defaulting. Again. And you know what happens then. We have to move back in with Britain.
1. Affordable Care Act website debacle. Most people decide it would be easier to let the NSA handle the whole thing. After all, they have all our information and probably know which plan best fits.

Will Durst’s one- man show “BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG” only 2 more Tuesdays at the Marsh. San Francisco. themarsh.org. Go to willdurst.com for his calendar to find performances near you such as next week in Mill Valley, Chico & Redding.

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Video- Fox & Friends Slams President Obama’s SOTU Agenda: ‘Is There Anybody Else In The Dem Party Except’ Him?

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It's amazing how they can hear a completely different speech. Via.

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