Author Archive for GottaLaff

Quickie-- Missouri GOP leader: Voter registration at protests is "disgusting"


quickie time missouri

Today's Missouri Quickie:

Via the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

Missouri Republican Party Executive Director Matt Wills denounced voter registration efforts amid continued protests in Ferguson, calling it "disgusting."

"If that’s not fanning the political flames, I don’t know what is," Wills told Breitbart News, a conservative website, Monday.

He also called the actions "completely inappropriate."

These blah people clearly don't know their place, right Patriot Matt? How dare they legally and rationally try to use their voices in more ways than one!

That was today's Quickie. Was it good for you?


Vindicated: Tons of banned chemical weapons destroyed. Chickenhawks won't care.



There's an editorial in today's Los Angeles Times titled, "Destruction of Syrian chemical weapons shows the U.S. may know what it's doing after all." Wait. So President Obama did something-- dun dun dun-n!-- right? Vindicated, at last!

[I]t was a rare bit of good news to hear from the administration on Monday that the United States had "finished neutralizing" hundreds of tons of the most deadly chemical weapons belonging to the regime of President Bashar Assad of Syria. This was a milestone in the diplomatic process that began a year ago this week when the Assad government was accused of using sarin gas to kill more than 1,000 people in a rebel-held suburb near Damascus. [...]

Conservatives assailed the plan as naive and feckless, as a projection of American weakness; Obama's supporters called ita fulfillment of his campaign promise to negotiate with those who were willing to talk in good faith.[...]

[N]egotiation and diplomacy are a better alternative to what would otherwise have been airstrikes followed by likely civilian deaths and a worrisome creep toward war.

"How dare Obama stop and think before he bombs?" Of course, now that the president has succeeded in accomplishing a goal sans war, he had to ruin it all (yes, that was sarcasm) by being all presidential and making a statement about the ghastly beheading of journalist James Foley by those despicable, brutal ISIL animals (sincere apologies to animals) responsible for his execution.

That will mean only one thing: John McCain and his trusty sidekick Li'l Lindsey Graham will appear on every Sunday talk show and be given a platform to call out President Obama's feck and demand that we go to war.

Again. I don't claim to know what the answer is, but our endless wars in the Middle East sure didn't succeed in eradicating terrorism or spreading Exceptional American Democracy across the region. However, BushCo and their pride-and-joy illegal invasion of Iraq did succeed at one thing: Failure. Sending more young Americans into battle is not always the answer, Johnsey (McGraham?).

Here is a partial transcript of the president's remarks via WaPo. Way to rev up the chickenhawks, Pres. O (yes, that was also sarcasm):

Today, the entire world is appalled by the brutal murder of Jim Foley by the terrorist group, ISIL....

He was taken hostage nearly two years ago in Syria, and he was courageously reporting at the time on the conflict there. Jim was taken from us in an act of violence that shocked the conscience of the entire world....

Let’s be clear about ISIL. They have rampaged across cities and villages, killing innocent, unarmed civilians in cowardly acts of violence. They abduct women and children and subject them to torture and rape and slavery. They have murdered Muslims, both Sunni and Shia, by the thousands. They target Christians and religious minorities, driving them from their homes, murdering them when they can, for no other reason than they practice a different religion. They declare their ambition to commit genocide against an ancient people.

So ISIL speaks for no religion. Their victims are overwhelmingly Muslim, and no faith teaches people to massacre innocents. No just God would stand for what they did yesterday and what they do every single day. ISIL has no ideology of any value to human beings. Their ideology is bankrupt. They may claim, out of expediency, that they are at war with the United States or the West, but the fact is, they terrorize their neighbors and offer them nothing but an endless slavery to their empty vision and the collapse of any definition of civilized behavior...

The United States of America will continue to do what we must do to protect our people. We will be vigilant and we will be relentless. When people harm Americans, anywhere, we do what's necessary to see that justice is done....

From governments and peoples across the Middle East, there has to be a common effort to extract this cancer so that it does not spread. There has to be a clear rejection of these kind of nihilistic ideologies.

One thing we can all agree on is that a group like ISIL has no place in the 21st century.

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LIVE VIDEO FEED: President Obama Delivers a Statement on Journalist Killed


Obama Ukraine




What if... ?


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There is so much bad news being reported lately, and so many of us need a break. Please add your own What Ifs in Comments. My list is certainly not complete, so feel free to pile on. Take a moment to fantasize. What if...?

What if...

The news media reported accurately, objectively, and without bias?

People were rewarded for their competence, but not for incompetence?

People in positions of authority refused to succumb to desire for power and instead made fairness, compassion, kindness, objectivity, and good judgment their goals?

Everyone simply acted nice to each other?

People smiled and laughed more?

The color of your skin didn't matter at all? Ever again?

Your sexual orientation didn't matter at all?

Scared white people who will inevitably become a minority didn't care about that at all?

Religious groups didn't try to impose their beliefs on others?

Atheists were embraced by those of faith? What if an atheist became our next president?

Lethal weapons ceased to exist?

Lies were obsolete?

Blame were placed only on those who truly deserved it?

Baseless smear campaigns ceased to exist?

Women were treated/paid as equals?

Women were allowed to make their own decisions without men imposing their will on them?

Rapists ceased to exist?

Children were always loved and never abused or mistreated?

People stopped using and discarding other people?

There were less greed and more altruism?

Businesses cared about their customers enough to keep air and water clean and make the health and welfare of others a priority?

Terrorist groups looked at themselves in the mirror, did a double take, and started laughing? And then morphed into philanthropic and human rights groups?

Everyone old enough to vote could, and did?

Hunger was a thing of the past, food and water were plentiful?

All food was good for us and we could eat/drink as much of anything as we wanted without any negative consequences?

There were no diseases or extreme physical pain? What if everyone passed away peacefully when their time came?

Fear was rare?

Drugs (and drug ads!) were unnecessary?

Mental illness were as easily recognized and as easily treated as the common cold is?

All violence stopped immediately? Would all those angry people with guns and knives suddenly look sheepish and start cracking up? And then become reasonable, mentally stable, and friendly? What if that happened?

Opposing parties came together to work out the nation's problems instead of resisting or ignoring obvious solutions?

Everyone followed the most important rules of improvisational comedy and listened carefully to one another, then defaulted to the premise "Yes, and..." instead of, "No"?

Communicating were a priority? And people were good at it?

Animals were never mistreated or abused?

Everyone had a sense of humor?

People stopped using the words "folks" and "gentleman" inappropriately? Criminals are not gentlemen. Folks is a friendly word; use it that way.

People were hired to do what they loved, and then they were paid well to do it?

People habitually made other people feel important and accepted?

Computers worked properly?

There was no small print?

Old people were made to feel important and beautiful?

What if any of these questions could be answered without being prefaced by, "Yeah, right..."?

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Your Weekly Upchucks: Shocking Religion News by author KC Boyd


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Please welcome back regular guest contributor, author of Being Christian -- a racy novel that explores the dark underbelly of the right-wing Christian world -- and the go-to blogger on shocking religion news, hypocrisy, and all things church v. state (weekly upchucks), KC Boyd. You might remember her from her earlier posts.

You can link over to the official KC Boyd site here for the rest of this post. It’s well worth a look, because I left out a ton of great upchuckable stuff, including antidotes! These are but a few of her weekly "where religion meets your rights" collection:

Your Weekly Upchucks: The place where religion meets your rights

– by KC Boyd


  • Ham In My Upchuck: With Kentucky Taxpayer Help, Moron Amusement Park Begins: Huge Bulldozers to Start Excavating


Fifty Shades Of Hate

  • Um. Hurl. KKK Leader Disputes Hate Group Label: ‘We’re A Christian Group’

Fifty Shades Of Loony

  • King Loon Spews: Showing his crazy again. Pat Robertson discusses plan to impeach Obama over Iraq: ‘Intervene, Lord! Send the angels!’

Fifty Shades Of Lies And Propaganda

If Media Is The Message

  • Four Score And Hurling: ‘Marxist’ Lincoln enslaved us all by ending Southern slavery
  • Um-Chuck-A-Lucka-Lucka: Teenagers Confuse A ‘Bromance’ Or ‘Guy Crush’ With Being Gay – Because maybe they are gay
  • Fox News Greta Van Susteren Christians Under Attack

Israel And End Times Politics

  • Book Of Revelatory Upchuck: To the delight of End Timers, the vast region Bush so blithely called the arc of instability seems to beheading for utter chaos or a mega-conflict


Politics Nation

  • (David) Barf-dom: Pseudo-Historian David Barton Helps RNC Promote Its Campaign To Mobilize Religious Right Voters
  • Libertarian Ka-Ka: Rand Paul on abortion: Civilization will collapse unless fetuses get personhood rights

Religion Gone Bad

  • Upchucking Hard: Steve King says the GOP must restrain Obama so God can use the next president to “restore the soul of America”:

Same Sex Issues

Sausage Makers And Their Sausage


  • Who Would Chuckie Punch?  California pastor punches wife’s face so hard in church parking lot that he breaks her glasses
  • Texas, Guns & Homeschooling, Chuck: ‘Very sheltered’ homeschooled Texas teen guns down both parents

Supremes And Lower Courts

  • Voluntary Upchuck: Breaking With Other States, Judge Rules Tennessee’s Gay Marriage Ban Is Constitutional
  • Oy Chuck: The Enormous, Unbelievable Stakes For The Supreme Court In 2016



LIVE VIDEO FEED: President Obama on Iraq and #Ferguson, Missouri 4 pm EDT


Obama Ukraine




"You can’t go shoot someone already down.” + ENTIRE VIDEO of autopsy presser #Ferguson


Ferguson Michael Brown autopsy shoot downImage via L.A. Times

The headline above, "You can't go shoot someone already down," comes from Nicole Tinson, a 23-year-old Yale Divinity School graduate student. However, her statement wasn't about Michael Brown's horrific death at the hands of a Ferguson, Missouri police officer. It was about Ezell Ford, another young African American man who was gunned down by an LAPD officer. Via an L.A. Times article about hundreds who rallied for Ford over the weekend:

Ford’s killing has been compared with that of Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenager killed by police Aug. 9 in Ferguson, Mo., whose death has attracted national attention.

This morning on MSNBC, Andrea Mitchell interviewed Missouri State Senator Maria Chappelle-Nadal (D). She quoted a young male Ferguson resident, also African American, who in two sentences expressed feelings of betrayal, fear, anger, resentment, pain, and disenfranchisement felt by so many others:

"I don't mind giving up my life right now. It's amazing I made it to twenty-one."

People want charges brought. People want decency and justice. People are hurting.

This morning, a private, preliminary autopsy report was released.

L.A. Times:

A preliminary autopsy commissioned by the family of Michael Brown suggests that there was no sign of a struggle in his death, and that all but one of at least six gunshot wounds in his body were likely survivable, according to Dr. Michael Baden, a renowned New York forensic pathologist who performed a private autopsy after a Ferguson, Mo., police officer killed the unarmed, black 18-year-old.

Baden said in his preliminary autopsy that he believes Brown would not have been able to survive the bullet that hit at the top of his head and traveled through his brain.

Baden said that Brown would have survived had that last gun shot not been fired into the top of his head. There were four bullets to the arm, two to the head, according to the preliminary report.

There was no reason to shoot Michael Brown in the head after having disabled him with at least four other bullets, based on what we know.

Via Gawker, Cops in Ferguson Threaten to Shoot Reporter, Mace Chris Hayes:

Also threatened by police Sunday night was MSNBC's Chris Hayes, who was filming when police told him, "Media do not pass us, you're getting maced next time you pass us."

Video at the link. Per Hayes, today the curfew has been lifted.

Sunday's Los Angeles Times has a regular feature in their Calendar section called "Underrated, Overrated." There is no link to this, but here it is, verbatim:


The year 2014: Amid a summer filled with a bad action movie's worth of global crises that include a drought, an ebola outbreak and too many reports of war and violence to count, this year has seen a disproportionate loss of creative spirits, including Charlie Haden, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Maya Angelou and now Robin Williams. If no one minds, how about we just fast forward to New Year's Eve and get this over with?

It's nearly too much to bear. But that doesn't matter, because despite how tough this is, we have to right the enormous wrongs. We have to look beneath the surface to understand that there's way more to this than these two appalling incidents. We have to educate ourselves and each other-- are you listening, news media?-- so that we can prevent further excruciating episodes, defuse the senseless discrimination and socioeconomic bombs that will continue to go off if we don't.

Chaos is not the answer. Listening, understanding, behavior modification, enforcing and respecting civil rights, finally doing something to effectively improve economic disparity, and practicing mutual respect is a start.

Just do something. The injustice, persistent anguish, and gaping wounds must not be tolerated. We're supposed to be better than this.

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