Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
The new GODZILLA was the top movie last week. In it the giant lizard destroys New York, Philadelphia and Chicago. But he didn't do any damage to Detroit, we beat him to it.
It's a touching scene after GODZILLA destroys the cities, when he sits down with ANDERSON COOPER and apologizes.
The FCC has rolled out a new service that lets people in cars text 911 for help. Which means, if you're driving and there's trouble on the road you can CAUSE and SEE the accident in one fell-swoop.
The Navy is in New York and it was "Fleet Week." You know what that means. It will be followed by "Penicillin Week."
One day after recalling 2.4 million vehicles, GM announced it's recalling another 218,000 Chevys. One more giant recall and "General Motors" gets knocked down to "Lieutenant Motors."
A toy company is recalling 600,000 ANN COULTER dolls -- the mouth won't close.
PRESIDENT OBAMA made an unscheduled stop at a Little League game while he was on his way to a fund raiser and watched the father of a Little leaguer become so upset at his kid's playing, he traded him -- not to another team - another family.
After he called PRESIDENT OBAMA a racial slur, the police commissioner of New Hampshire resigned. He also publicly apologized to New Hampshire's entire black community. I believe it was a guy named STEVE.
VLADIMIR PUTIN ordered all Russian troops stationed near Ukraine to be pulled back to their home bases. It's the first time PUTIN has pulled back anything since he did it to his stomach when he took his bare-chested photo."
To plot a strategy for reasserting their influence within the Republican Partly, conservative leaders met quietly last week in Washington behind closed minds.
WALMART is now offering its customers a new discount item, their own brand of wine. Here are a few of the most popular affordably priced names to look for:
Chateau Traileur Parc
And my favorite..."I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar."
It's MEMORIAL DAY and once again our eyes are glued to the Indianapolis speedway to watch the Indy 500 race. And what a grueling drive it is. 500 miles without one "Burger King" one "McDonalds" not even a "Stuckys" pecan pie.