Kentucky Churches 'Outreach To Rednecks' Is Giving Away Guns with T-bones and Bibles

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Jesus Gun

Image: kootation.com

Written by guest contributor, "hardybear" of the wonderful Free Range Talk site:

I've seen my share of Western Jesus depictions, and in none of them was he openly carrying a firearm -- holstered or not. In the depths of Kentucky, however, an enterprising Baptist LLC has found a solution to the sticky wicket of their parishioners not being sufficiently armed to attend Sunday School, the movies and P.T.A. meetings ... Church Suppers featuring sides of Salvation 'an A Gun Raffle.

According to Chuck McAlister, a former pastor and Outdoor Channel hunting show host, over 1,600 men made “professions of faith” at about 50 gun giveaway events last year. The hillbilly handouts managed to lure over 500 people out of their homes on a snowy January day to a gun event at Highview Baptist Church. Sixty-one of those men “made decisions to seek salvation,” according to McAlister. According to Paul Chitwood, the Kentucky Baptist Convention’s executive director, “it’s been very effective.”

TJJesusGunYouHoldItORIG

Baptist Churches in the great state o' Kentucky will continue these genius Giveaways By God, in hopes that free Baptist weapons are continuing to make their way into every home near you. In order to take their place by the well-guarded Family Bible and the Ronald Reagan tribute wall.

The clever Kentucky Baptist Convention skipped increasing alms for the poor, and went straight to arming them. That should be helpful in rural areas where Tea Party militia already have slots and costumes open.

Vote in 2014, liberals ... look what we are up against!

Finish the satire over at Americans Against the Tea Party.

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  • http://www.freerangetalk.com/ hardybear

    Hah! And their war on dames precludes the versatile Skirt Steak.

  • paullwolborsky

    A T-Bone is part Porterhouse, which smacks of Blackness, New York Strip, which smacks of Northness, and Filet Mignon, which smacks of Frenchness, them Southern Churches made a huge misteak ;D

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/akinsc Carla Akins

    Identify their needs, they need better representation, they need better schools, they need healthcare, they need oversight so that they're not working repressive, dangerous low paying jobs. Good grief.