In syrupy Southern accent:
Oh me oh my, someone please get New Jersey Lt. Governor Kim Guadagno a faintin' couch, some smellin' salts, and a feathuh fan! Ah do believe she and her boss, the "musculah" Gov. Chris Christie, feel victimahzed by the... victim. Mercy me, mercy you, mercy us, Miss Kim and the guv are *gasp!* Offended! Shocked! Appalled!
*Well-timed hankie nose dab* Hoboken Mayor Dawn Zimmer done them wrong! How could she?
(smiling) Ah DO hope y'all in the press are writin' every word of this down. (well-timed eyelash bat)
And while they're in blame mode, oh please DO lay some of it on Assemblyman John Wisniewski. We can't be allowin' him to be pointin' finguhs no mattah WHEYah that nasty ol' evidence leads, y'all hear? Why, one might get the impression that
Master Don Gov. Christie is some kind of thug, and we can't have that!
Mah stahs and gahtuhs, wheyah AH those smellin' salts?!
I do believe Miss Kim's head is spinnin' from all those nasty accusations.
Well, toots, now you know how Zimmer and Wisniewski feel.