I always open my weekly radio spot on the Nicole Sandler Show at RadioOrNot.com with a little snarky humor in the form of a fake automated voice mail system. Every week I choose a topic to mock, and when Nicole Skypes me, instead of answering "Hello," I respond with, "You've reached..." followed by, "Press One for..., press Two for... etc." Just like in real life! Only hopefully more entertaining.
Because it's gray and rainy today, because Kobe Bryant is out for another six weeks with a broken knee, and because I'm in an extra crispy crankpot mood, and because I need a break from Very Serious News Items, I thought I'd share today's Press 1, 2, 3 edition to bring a little silliness to the day.
You've reached the “I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas” support group.
Press ONE if you just know Fox News hosts will try to blunt criticism of Megyn Kelly’s recent remarks by saying, “Pfft! This whole silly kerfuffle will all just fall into the White Hole of TV history.”
Press TWO if you anticipated Megyn Kelly gleefully “jesting” about the busiest shopping day of the holiday season referring to it as "White Friday," and then crediting her favorite comedian… the Daily Show’s Lewis White.
Press THREE if you fully expect Megyn Kelly to claim that all piano keys are white, zebras have white and white stripes, that her favorite recording artists are the White-Eyed Peas, and she’ll haul off and give anyone who accuses her of racism... a white eye.
Have a happy holiday!